Interstellar Death Machines!!

I Know, I Know -
Two exclamation marks is verging on Emotional, rather than Stoical British Sang Froid.  The subject matter merits it, though.
     "What is the 'Alcubierre Drive'?" I pondered yesterday at work, having to write the term down for later reference, as managers take a dim view of employees going about blog research in work time.  "It's for the future benefit of mankind!" probably wouldn't cut it, besides being a lie.
     Okay.  I can explain what it is, but first we need to revisit one of the Twentieth Century's smartest men -

          Young Al                                        Old Al
     Yes, Mister Einstein.  He coined the Theory of Relativity, which means that the speed of light is an absolute limit and cannot be passed.  Not even if you try really, really hard and click your red shoes together.
     Bummer.  This means that interstellar travel is never going to be feasible for Hom. Sap. as trips to even our nearest stellar neighbour would take centuries.*  
     Unless - but no.
     Except - but impossible.
     Perhaps - but alas.
     Enter this chap.  Art?

Miguel Alcubierre

     This is Ol' Mig, who put forth an equation that satisfies the Theory of Relativity and yet potentially allows moving faster than light.  

Do NOT ask me to explain it!

     The equation is what physicists call "highly speculative", which is what they like to say when something is "Not Impossible, Just Really Really Hard To Do".  Ol' Mig speculates that it is possible to create a 'warp bubble' in space that would contract in front of your spaceship and expand behind it, thereby moving you in space.  The rules of Relativity would still apply within the bubble, thereby not breaking Mister Einstein's heart, yet you can still accelerate that bubble beyond the speed of light.  I think Art -

Thus

     There is a list of problems about creating this warp drive at least a foot long, yet the one I find the coolest concerns the drive literally sweeping space before it and acquiring a harvest of particles from the interstellar medium.  Space, you know, is not completely empty.  When your spaceship arrives at Proxima Centauri after a trip of only two weeks duration, and stops, why, all those particles go flying directly forward.  At your destination.
     Oops.  Was that apocalyptically enormous explosion the planet Proxima Centauri II being demolished by your Alcubierre-harvested particles?
     Good!  Dirty Proximans.  Never like them anyway.

Howdy, neighbour - time to die!

     Hence you have today's title.  And now you know a little more about potential Faster Than Light travel capabilities.
     Okay, motley, let's see how many heads of garlic you can manage against the clock!**
     
Be Careful!
For, as ever, I caution you to beware of KILLER EELS!
     Yes, I know what you're thinking (and I will return their telepathy-helmet to DARPA at some point) "I'm perfectly safe here in my house, which does not sit underwater."
     Behold!

You are not safe anywhere

     Eels, you see, can sneak up on you out of water, and they come at you in groups.  I still know what you're thinking "What can they do, bite my boots?"

A killer with severe mental issues, it would seem

     O yes indeed they could bite your boots - and your ankles, and when a dozen of them go for your lovely juicy tender human skin, and bite your feet off, why, you fall over, at which point it is Dinner Time For Hungry Eels.

Hmmmm.  Okay, Art, no punishment this time.

A Falling At Malling
West Malling, that is, an RAF airbase during the Second Unpleasantness.  
     To set the scene, let us inform you that the Teutons were wont to send occasional fighter-bombers to mount nuisance raids on Perfidious Albion, long after they had LOST LOST LOST the Battle of Britain.*** Their pilot's navigation skills were sometimes frankly rubbish, as on 17th April 1943, after a Focke Wolf 190 squadron had been doing a bit of bombing north of the Thames estuary.  Four FW 190s got separated from the rest of their squadron.

The beast in question, known as the "Butcher-Bird"

     They had trouble finding their target, and hitting it, thanks to extensive cloud, fog and anti-aircraft fire so by the time they headed for home they were all very low on fuel.  They then mistook the Thames estuary for the English Channel and out of desperation landed at the first airbase they came to - West Malling.
     You can tell this isn't going to end well for them, can't you?
     The first FW to land rolled up outside the hangars, watched by rather stunned RAF personnel.  The pilot got out, at which point the canny crew of a Beaverette armoured parked in front of the plane, stopping it from getting airborne again.
     Aghast, the pilot promptly surrendered.  "Thanks very much!" said the RAF, repainting the aircraft in RAF colours -

Thus

     After which they flew it around, took it apart, put it back together and pretty much gloated like Gollum over how clever and lucky they were.
     Two of the other FWs crashed nearby, having run out of fuel.  The last one managed to land, and then the pilot realised that those ground crew were not Luftwaffe in fancy dress; they were the perfidious British who had somehow moved the Channel.  He went to take off again, at which point that Beaverette a/c took part in proceedings.  Art?

The Beaverette Battlewagon

     It might not look much, but those guns are Vickers K models, which can put out 20 rounds per second, so when the gunner gave the FW a two-second burst, the FW burst, too.  Into flames.  Being hit by 80 bullets will do that.
     I'm not entirely sure about this, so don't quote me, but this might be the only time that a Beaverette fired in anger.


*  Yes, I can hear you screeching about "Generation Ships".  Different topic.
**  I have a gun, motley.  Get eating.
***  I can rub it in because they LOST.