Once again, I am not mis-spelling anything. After all this time - has it really been 5 years? Who knew that scrivel came in such un-ending supplies! - you ought to know that your humble scribe doesn't make spelling mistakes. If I spell a word a particular way it's either one I've made up (e.g. "gloasting") or it's for comedic effect (as in "Arous-ing").
There, glad we've got that settled. Art?
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| My view from the Dark Tower |
Okay, there you have the vistas viewable from very high up; the seventeenth floor, in fact. On a clear day you can see all the way to the Pennines, or to Manchester Airport's traffic control tower, even Jodrell Bank on occasions.
This, you see, is what you might term a "coign of vantage". Which is a very old-fashioned turn of phrase indeed; my Chambers doesn't say where it comes from, and it's not even in my Brewer's. It seems to derive from an architectural term, whereby a corner is formed by intersecting walls.
And, I confess, it's one of those words that kind of popped up in my head for no particular reason. Sorry about that!
Okay, that's a nice short Intro about nothing very traumatic, so let us move onto -
| Behave! Or else ... |
"Heinie The Hurricane"
Or, Sir Ken Adams before he was famous and titled, in the cockpit of his Hawker Typhoon. Yes, yes, it's a "Typhoon" not actually a "Hurricane", but they are both forces of nature involving big winds, so - poetic licence. Besides which, if you were unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end of their strafing run, would you really stop to see what kind of aircraft they were, checking your monochrome silhouette pamphlet, focussing your binoculars and discussing with your fellow soldiery?
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| Unlikely, one feels |
That above is 240 pounds of fin-stabilised high-explosive en route to spoiling someone's day.
Anyway, back to Ken. If you've ever heard him speak then you know his English is impeccably fluent, yet it comes with a marked Teuton accent - he and his family having fled the Nazi regime early on. His nickname within his squadron was thus "Heinie", which was a somewhat derogatory slang term applied to all things Teuton. He tells a telling anecdote about a Canadian pilot of his squadron, paralysed by injuries from flak, aircraft damaged and minutes away from a surely fatal crash.
"Heinie," comes this pilot's voice over the radio, knowing he'll be dead in moments. "Book me a late tea, will you?"
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| The indomitable British Americans! |
Oh, let us also put you, gentle reader, clear on a couple of RAF slang words. A Typhoon was known as a "Tiffie", just because. "Tiffin" was a light meal, usually served with a pot of tea (or "char"), so being invited to partake of the latter did not mean you were going to be rocketing and cannoning the living daylights out of your opposite numbers.
Tiffie Tiffin
I think I'd better go put the oven on, otherwise baking that pizza is going to cut into Edna's walkie time. Back in a minute, folks!
Wait - What?
As you may remember, your modest artisan has a passing acquaintance with the Cyrillic alphabet, so he did a double-take when casting his optical sensors over a picture on the Beeb's website, titled "Is this the least romantic weekend ever?" Art!
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| "CHERNOBYL" |
Er - what the actual flip? And yes, it was about the correspondent and his lady wife having a trip abroad minus the children, to the abandoned town of Pripyat and the Chernobyl nuclear power plant. Conrad is unsure how romantic this kind of thing is, yet the bleak, deserted town of Pripyat, slowly being reclaimed by the forest, is undoubtedly eerie. You wouldn't forget a trip there in a hurry.
| Pripyat |
They also took a trip to the power plant itself, where the background count has diminished sufficiently to be perfectly safe, thanks to a monstrous concrete and steel 'sarcophagus' - Art?
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| Wonderfully anti-climactic |
The deserted town has been used as the ready-made (and cheap!) backdrop to several films, including drone shots for "The Girl With All The Gifts". Which is a zombie film with a fresh take on the genre, go and see it! And, if you can, identify the bits which were shot in Pripyat. Oh, and that piece of cinematic ordure "Return of the Living Dead: Necropolis" has at least part of the introduction filmed in Pripyat. It's an awfully bad, cheap zombie film which you ought to avoid, unless you enjoy poking yourself in the nethers with sharp objects.
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| TGWATG (Some gifts you do not want) |
So - "least romantic weekend?" - quite possibly. Yet one to remember.
<short pause ensues as Conrad descends on the pizza, "like a wolf on the fold".*
Finally -
I made a bit of a hash at this morning's Codeword, where they gave you the letters "O" and "L". I did work out one word straight away - "OXBOW" - but dismissed it because, even if it was correct (it's a type of lake, for those unfamiliar with the word), the letters X, B and W aren't common enough to be helpful.
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| The phenomenon in question |
Well, I shouldn't have taken counsel of my fears, since I then swooped in way too fast to determine that this word is "SONATA", because it certainly was not. It turned out to be "JOISTS" and I still claim they led me astray by using "FJORD" above it. I mean, a combination of F and J? Who on earth expects that?
I did swoop in too quickly again, and put "FLAMENCO" when it ought to have been "FLAMINGO", though it got corrected pretty quickly.
| Flamingo doing the flamenco? |
At which point, having done over the ton, I shall take my leave and my leisure.**
* That is, hungrily. With Edna in close attendance.
** That's a zeugma, that is.
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