Which is a colossal pain in the bottom, indeed.
So here we are, me, Oscar and Steve, all on the 83 bus, eventually.* The 409, predictably, was late (and then 2 came at once) and thus rammed, and thus even later, and included the obligatory squealing, squalling baby - a fixture on all buses, it seems.
Travelling in on a service not running at the crack of dawn further means the hoi polloi are here present in quantity. This also means that, at any given moment, there is at least ONE person going over their significant life events on a mobile phone, with us passengers a captive audience. No, I don't need nor want to know what you're having for dinner, matey.
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| If only it were in a tank ... |
Here an aside. Tom, our Mighty Leader, was looking over my shoulder as I slandered First Bus, which led to others amongst our thronging staff asking exactly what the blog is about. "Tanks, atom bombs and zombies" the predictable response.
| An atomic tank, hoorah! |
Back on track! Where were we? Oh yes. The end of the Intro.
Run, motley, run - this land-travelling shark is hungry!
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| NOOOOO! Sharks Are Our Friends! |
Your Horrible Humble Scribe
We all know Conrad is quite objectionable under that bland and unassuming exterior, and by "quite objectionable" we mean "an utter cur".***
So, let us now focus on the BBC's "Have Your Say" function on their sports pages. Art?
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| Thus |
Success! The moderators e-mailed me back to say that they agreed and BAM the offending post was gone. Tee hee!
The River Punning
(JRR Tolkein reference for you there). Your humble scribe rarely watches television, as it definitely rots the brain, and I cannot afford to risk what I have left. That said, it can be a diverting experience, and a source of blog material.
What's this, for example? Why, none other than a program about the rivers of the world, their quality, potability and suitability for drinking.
Presented by the very aptly-named Jeff Wade.
How very fortunate we are that, forsooth, 'twas not a program about ordure and dung, as heaven alone knows what the presenter might have been named. Naturally, given our SFW work status, that's as far as we intend to go with this one, you dirty-minded curs.
The Louche Lounge Lizard Epitomized
| If only it were in a tank ... |
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| Loz in his younger days |
The thing is, Ol' Loz was actually from Lithuania, and Jewish to boot. Not British at all, though you'd never know it to hear him speak; of course he can't take any credit, it was all this island's influence. Perhaps his greatest crime, apart from habitually sleeping with other men's wives, was introducing Cliff Richard to the wider world in the <thinks> uniquely-named "Espresso Bongo"
Right, we're going to have to cut it a bit short tonight, as I've managed to muck up the formatting and that zombie picture from up top is following my cursor round like a - well, like a zombie, I suppose. Toodles!
| If only it were in a tank ... |
* If First Bus were in charge of inventing the flush toilet, we'd all still be using ditches.
** Slacker! <the horrible truth courtesy Mister Hand>
*** How I love that word. "You dirty cur!" - I love it!
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