I Paste In Haste

Being On The Late Shift -
     - and on public transport, Conrad didn't get home until 7:30.  Before he realised it, after finishing off "Right Ho Jeeves" and having a spot of tea, besides sniggering cruelly at "You've Been Framed"*, it was already 8:30.  Assembling lunch, unwrapping a book delivery and creating a pasta salad for tomorrow's lunch advanced the hour to 9:30.
     At which point Mister Hand pointed out that - sorry, what's that?
     Mister Hand wants some recognition?  As an essential part of BOOJUM!? 
     O very well!

Mister Hand.  Compact, versatile and able to make humorous shadows.

Can we get back to the narrative?  O thank you so much!  Where were we?  Oh yes, Mister Hand was pointing out that we shouldn't waste time.
     Eh what?  Mister Hand!  What have you just - Oh I give up.

The Perfumes Of Araby
     I think that's how it goes - a quote from Shakespeare's "MacBeth" by Lady MacBeth, who was quite a lady killer.  "All the perfumes of Araby -" cannot get rid of the blood on her hands.  I would have tried Coal Tar Soap and a rough flannel myself, but you know what highly-strung female assassins are like.
     Anyway, here we are:

No it's not a Bauhaus match!

 This is incense, being burned to try and diminish the smell of cerements, the grave and mouldy ceiling paper.  The closest, one suspects, that Conrad's Upstair Lair will ever get to smelling sweetly.  Conrad has no sense of smell at all, as it isn't needed on the icy hell of his alien homeworld in Royton.

Truffle Kerfuffle
     Conrad tried to make Christmas pudding truffles last week, and merely succeeded in making a batch of what looked like sheep droppings that reeked of rum.  Far too poor a fare to pass off on the ganterpies at work, so he has been nobly eating them himself.  There were thirty of the mis-shapen little swine.  Today -

The brown thing?  The handle of a Grommit mug.  Oh!  You meant the sheep sh1t on the plate ...

Okay, finally, since Anna may be reading this (hello Anna!), we need to really manage an Awww! moment.  Without zombie teddy bears, cuddly piranhas or vampire kittens.


Damn.  That's hard. 


Let me think on this.



Aha!  The cyborg laser-eyed sentry cats, powered-off and charging up**

Yes, cute while asleep.  Awake, they can fry you alive in milliseconds.  Milliseconds!

*My Darling Daughter's guilty pleasure, not mine
** Don't worry, the Mansion is still protected by minefields, and the visiting wolves are still close by