Hello Mister Weekend!

Or Mistress Weekend.  No Gender Bias Here At BOOJUM!
     Friday evening and the working week is over.  I now pause before committing myself to a schedule over the weekend, because that would put it down in black and white (actually green, orange and white).  That means people could check up on me and see if I'd kept my promises.
     Oh well here goes -

Schedule:
     1)  Read books.
     This is a permanent chore of Conrad's since he buys books faster than he can read them.  I am onto the third of my PG Wodehouse collection of ten, so some progress there.  Once I've gotten through them it's on with "History of the 29th Division" followed by "Soldaten", "The Crying of Lot 49", "Why People Believe Weird THings", and a TPB of "The Walking Dead" that's so depressing I haven't even looked at it for months.
     2)  Drink tea.
     I have another four packs of Russian Caravan Tea to get through, plus the big pack of English Breakfast Tea, quite besides the two tins of Chay, and the ground coffee, plus the unground coffee beans.
     3)  Drink beer
     A dirty job but someone's got to do it.  Can't leave all those tins to become dangerously explosive and poisonous, can I? 
     4)  Watch DVDs
     Again, I tend to buy these faster than I can watch them.  Having just finished "Red Tails" I now have to get past "Seven Psychopaths", "Star Trek Into Darkness", the extras DVD of "Things To Come", a Bollywood blockbuster called "Sholay"
     5)  Bake a Bit
     Today's Chewy Monkey Bars went down well, except not with the veggies, since they were made with marshmallow.  Marshmallow contains Beef Gelatin, you see, so anything made with marshmallow is practically putting the slaughtered carcass in front of you, in a pool of blood, surrounded by the lowing calves left parentless -
     <ahem> - well you get the idea.  So, I may try making them with Marshmallow Fluff.  The name is a misnomer, there's no marshmallow in it at all, it's all corn syrup and chemicals - bonus!

No monkeys were harmed in the making of these bars

Hold Hard!
     Wonder Wifey just came in to warn Conrad not to touch the curry left in the fridge.  Apparently it is reserved for Darling Daughter and Tom Terrific - at which point Conrad remembered he had fish kebabs a-cooking in the oven.  Were it not for this timely interruption, the Mansions would now be reeking of burnt fish.

This photo is from Turkey, where the Turkish for "fish" is pronounced "bollocks".  Check out that sign in the background.

I think everyone can agree that my Schedule is a punishing list of chores, which could be referred to the International Criminal Court for sheer wanton cruelty*.

An Epigram Or An Aphorism?
     I wouldn't mention this, but it made Rosie (pub quiz partner, specialisms - the monarchy and television soaps) giggle.  We were sat on the side of the pub opposite the trays of sandwiches, of which there were quite a few left.  Darling Daughter (pub quiz partner - specialisms - contemporary celebrities) caught me looking in that direction and asked what I was doing?
     "Greed is combatting Sloth," I replied.  "And losing."

No!  NO!  Wrong!  Wrong sloth!  Hang on, am I venting my spleen?**

How Very Apt
   

Quite a nice, dark beer

 Posted on a blog by Conrad, who is both i) Old and ii) Peculiar, but who scores higher on spelling.

So - Tanks?
     At some point in the future I must inform you about the development of anti-tank ammunition, all the way from simple iron rounds up to <deep breath> armour-piercing fin-stabilised depleted-uranium-cored discardable-sabot Long Rod Penetrator rounds.
   Anyway, meantime, here is a Josef Stalin III:

Yes, that is a flying saucer in the background

This bad boy was created by the Russians in WW2 to take on the big German tanks, and wow could it ever.  It mounted a huge gun that fired huge rounds, which did entirely no good at all to whatever they hit.
     Now, this is a rumour, but apparently the British dug one out from beneath a collapsed house in their zone of Berlin after the war ended.  They were really, really impressed with the front hull and - allegedly - ended up using that design inspiration on their Chieftan tank.

A Chieftan observed from Position Dangerous, i.e. right in front of it

BOOJUM! cannot comment, since this would cause diplomats and politicians on both sides of the argument to squawk, and instead leaves you, dear reader, to make a judgement.


To Finnish
     Sorry about the terrible pun.  Here we see the Arctic Fox, an animal entirely at home in Central Ostrobythnia***, where his white coat allows him to blend in completely amongst the carrier-bag covered landscape.

"The carrier bags?  I ate 'em."

*  Okay, I exaggerate.  Slightly.  Slightly.
**  Did you read yesterday's blog?  Because this caption makes sense if you did.
*** Look, I didn't invent the various bits of Finland! Complain to the consulate!