A Saturday Assemblage

 I Know You Felt My Pain
     Yes, dear reader, when last night's post rolled over and died I had to re-do it, and to ensure it met your thirsting eyeballs before midnight, one article got omitted.  Let us now meet - 

Hang on, can't I milk the sympathy a bit more?  This is me, looking pained.  Pained, I tell you!

CLENCH!
     Some time before Christmas, Darling Daughter and her boyfriend Tom (a quiet, intelligent chap who sometimes seems a little adrift at the Mansion) and myself were sitting at the kitchen table, discussing Rubbish Superheroes.  Not like Aquaman, these were superheroes with rubbish powers or abilities.  I think Sally came up with Elastic Band Man, who can give you a really painful flick in the eye with an elastic band.  Unless you wear glasses, or stand more than three feet away, or if there's a bit of wind - anyway, you get the idea.  Tom suggested a superhero I shall dub "Blasto" since we didn't generate a name for him, whose superpower was sneezing bullets.
     I pointed out to Tom that, since sneezing is an involuntary activity, Blasto was likely to massacre people in shops or on the bus, and he'd have a hard time sneezing on cue, viz:
     "Stop right where you are, Doktor Destrukto!  You're not stopping - very well, I shall unleash my Jeez Louise Sneeze - just hang on whilst I snort some white pepper -

Okay, let me try black pepper -

Dog buns!  Okay, white and black pepper together -

Damn it!  Can you wait till I can get some Snuff?"
     I came up with Prehensile Butt Man, the Clench! of the title.  He tackles crime by using his burnished buns of bronze.  Or maybe beryllium.  Definitely not boron.  And they're only metaphorically made of metal.   He would, of course, have to tackle crime and criminals backwards, probably using an elaborate mirror arrangement to look over his shoulders, maybe also with a siren to warn pedestrians not to stray into the path of the Crime-Crushing Cleft of Deft.

Actually this is "Stench", whose superpower is methane - and a diet exclusively of beans, cabbage and hard-boiled eggs

More Of Maia
     Well, it took most of the morning to flamethrower the flower infestation off the Mansion, and to wash the residue away with PRB-26, a military defoliant that kills all plant life it hits for a period not exceeding 25 years.  Maia (Greek goddess of flowers - do keep up!) still has a few nasty surprises in response to being told that she smells like dog buns.
     As proof, look what was creeping along the wall this morning:

Fortunately Conrad can easily outrun a plant

Okay, Maia, you a redolent of perfume and daisies and wonderfulness, can you leave off now?

MUSIC SUBSECTION
     If you're not up on trendsetting hip indie rock 'n' roll at the cutting-edge of critical creativity, you might want to miss this bit.

     Volcano Choir - Repave
     At one point on "Dancepack" Justin sings the lyrics: "There's p1ss on my boots.  How do I make it stop?'
     Well, Justin, I'm not one to judge, but if you were to cease urinating upon your footwear, this would no longer be a problem.  Also, those of us who are well-brought up tend to use that ceramic appliance found in bathrooms.  
     Don't forget to wash your hands, either.

     Working For A Nuclear Free City
     Bit of an oddity here.  Their CD is entitled "Jojo Burger Tempest".  That is what it says on the cover.  However, when either CD is played, the title becomes "Star Trek The Ashes Of Eden".  Which I like better.  Was there a copyright issue?

     Eels
     Playing "Wonderful, Glorious" after listening to "Shootenanny" in the car for some time.  A notably different production style - rather than the sparse, near-live feel of Shootenanny, this is a lot fuller and rounder.  Nothing stands out in the way of "Rock Hard Times" or "Lone Wolf" but this is the first listen.  I shall persevere.

     The Accoustic Solutions Dock
     Yes!  Finally I have another i-pod dock.  This one looks better and seems more robust than the eggshell and spun-sugar construct that was my previous dock.
     What's that?  Photos or you don't believe me?  Certainly!

Note the remote and the red button.

With the previous model, I didn't realise I was holding the remote the wrong way round and was thus baffled when it didn't work.  This remote has a nice prominent RED BUTTON to prevent Conrad suffering silence.

OKAY MUSIC SUBSECTION OVER YOU CAN COME OUT NOW

First Travel Randomness
     As witnessed on the bus today (I know, I know, travel by PSV risks death by Blasto):


Why one earth are First Travel slandering the Ursidae family?
     Conrad is grateful they aren't doing the usual demolition job on weasels or warthogs.

What One Earth?
     Conrad is consistently surprised by humans.  You can live amongst them, wearing your human skin camouflage, for decades, and they still surprise you.  Witness this horror:

Observe the tinted force-field to protect the innocent

Who would have thought to find a torture implement in the bathroom?  Obviously Garnier, besides producing cosmetics and toiletries, also sub-contract for interrogation instruments.

Babylonian Mythology
     Apparently much influenced by their Sumerian predecessors, but with a mythos very much created by, and unique to, the Babylonians themselves.  Babylon being the central city of that empire, it's patron god was Marduk, whose importance increased over time until he came to head the Babylonian pantheon of gods.

Marduk - good guy.  As seen in "The Real Ghostbusters".  Yes, really

To Finish -
     I only do this to because Anna may be reading, and I don't want to potentially do myself out of some mulled wine look bad

<excuse me, just listening to the end of "Star Trek The Ashes Of Eden" with a fantastic background of campanology, verrrry evocative, okay, back to the Cuddlies ->

Here we go!

Altogether now - "Awwww!"

* There are no asterisked entries today.