As Promised; BOOJUM! Delivers

No, Not World Domination*
     First subject for debate - the warthog.

Miss Botswana 1997

This beast is clearly not attractive.  It's face looks as if Salvador Dali tried his hand at genetic engineering whilst drunk and juggling a drawerful of knives. Lumpy, bumpy, frumpy, tusky and micro-eyed, only a warthog's mother could love a warthog.  They do not have a very positive media presence.  Just Google Image "Warthog" and you can scroll past hundreds of excruciatingly ugly tuskers.
     And yet ...

Meet Wonder Warthog, seen here relaxing with book and beer

That's quite positive, isn't it?

Also ...  I couldn't find a picture of The Snout Brothers, a pair of steroid-abusing homophobic iron-pumping warthogs from "Father of the Pride", but after reviewing that sentence, they aren't really positive role models.

And of course who can forget <drumroll and trumpets> - Pumba!

Who says the camera never lies?  Contrast this with Photo #1

 From some obscure film by a fringe studio.  What was it called now?  The Lion Thing.  The Iron King.  Ah, it'll come to me in time.

 Excuse me, those bloody Ukranians are kicking up a fuss again!  As if making - actually - they have a point, I haven't thrown food down the dungeon grating since this morning.  Excuse me one moment!

BOOJUM! Mansion's light and airy Upper Dungeons.  Two stars in the Michelin Guide.

 - As opposed to the Lower Dungeons.

THE LION KING**!  I said it would come back.

Conrad's Guide To World Domination
     Lesson Number One:  Keep it secret.
     Lesson's Number Two to One Hundred and Fifty Seven:  See Rule One.


Right!  I have to swot up on talentless tabloid sellebrities for the Pub Quiz, which is in but forty-three minutes.  Tally ho!

* ... Yet
** For a republic, those American are awfully fond of royalty.