More Of Money

Don't Worry -

You won't be bothered by intrusive dreams and how clever Conrad is, at least in his own head and imagination.  No, today we continue to follow the huge ripples left by the collapse of FTX, the crypto-currency business that was run by a bunch of crooks.  Conrad doesn't follow the financial markets too closely but is aware that the FTX fraud has put a severe dent in crypto that it may never recover from, and that there are other dodgy players in the market who may be about to go toes-up, too.  Art!

     Yes, that's a Leopard A2 tank, not a collection of Bitcoins, because crypto currency's visual presence is as exciting as boiled lettuce.

     Enter the Silvergate bank, an entity that primarily deals with crypto businesses, one of which was FTX, three initials they now wish they'd never heard of or encountered.  $93 million were deposited there, which are now being sought by the South Canadian Department of Justice, and the FBI and financial authorities in the Bahamas, all grimly determined to recover investors money.  Art!

     FTX going bankrupt was rather like the first domino falling in one of those displays that takes hours to set up and which is over in seconds, for no sooner had they filed for Chapter 11, than account holders with Silvergate began withdrawing their funds.  Thus began a run of $8.1 billion in withdrawals.  This was a very, very serious issue because no bank has the kind of funds available to sustain a run by customers; it's just not how they operate and they don't anticipate such extraordinary excess levels of financial flight.  Art!

Like this, just digital

     The 'Financial Times' says that they had to sell off assets in a hurry and took a bath on them, because they needed the money NOW, not in the next financial quarter.  Yes, they raised over $5 billion to cover the withdrawals, and took a $714 million loss in the process, which wiped out all their profits for the past 10 years.  Ouch.  That's not the end of the story for them, either.  They have laid off two-fifths of their staff (200 people), which will, to be fair, reduce their wage overheads.  They have decided not to go ahead with creating their own crypto-currency, which you might agree is a wise decision were it not for the fact that they'd already handed over nearly $200 million for the necessary hardware.  Given how badly crypto's reputation is now, I don't think they're going to be able to sell their technical kit at anything like market value.  Art!

      All this whilst their business has declined by a third over the past year.  'Brassgate' sounds like a more fitting title, hmmm?  Conrad doubts that they'll still be around by this time next year

     <ooops, took a comfort break, then came back and sat in my chair, wondering what the big lump I felt my nethers descend upon was - had the cushion collapsed?  No, it was Edna, who took the hint and moved.  Sorry, Edders!>

     Hmmm, F.T.X. = "Fraud, Thievery, eXtortion" a better description.

Conrad's Culinary Creativity

I did mention 'Holubtsi' yesteryon, which apparently are an Ukrainian staple, and I dimly remember a video where Ukrainian womenfolk were making and bottling them for their chaps on the front lines.  Being motivated by greed as much as any desire to sample ethnic cuisine, Conrad got the ingredients together.

     First, you have to core and boil your cabbage, so that the leaves are both pliable and more edible.  Art!

     

    Then you get the filling ingredients and mix well, which I always take to mean get-in-there-with-yer-hands.  Art!

    The recipe said cut the spine out of the boiled leaves, which is a mistake, as it left a lot of leaves too small to be used.  I'll know better next time.  Art!

     Then you add the sauce and cook in the oven for at least an hour.  When I took them out the rice hadn't cooked properly, so Conrad added a little more boiling water and back they went for another hour.  Art!

     I tried one and they're not bad.  Next time I may parboil the rice before adding to the filling.  To be served with oodles of sour cream, apparently - Ukrainians slather everything in sour cream.

Whilst On About Ukraine And Food ...

There was a sideline on Bing from the Daily Express which bore looking into.  The words 'combat rabbits' came into play, so Conrad dug a little deeper.

     The Ukrainian Secret Service, it seems, has a ghoulish sense of humour.  They put it about that 'Combat rabbits from secret laboratories' operated in conjunction with Ukrainian marksmen to 'retire' Ruffian soldiers.  In reality they seem to have been used to lure starving Borcs, who subsist on strained mud, licecakes and boiled twigs, out into the open.  Most readers here would go "Awww!" upon seeing a fluffy bunny, whereas the average Borc sees it as a furry dinner-to-be.  Art!

CAUTION! Reality may be wrong

"The Sea Of Sand"

The Doctor is getting ready to commit a little malicious diversionary activity, and is enjoying his dramatic moment.

Relishing his audience’s curiosity, the Doctor loaded a single tracer round into the rifle Tam passed to him.

‘Okay, Sergente Capriccio.  When I tell you, and not before, you start the engine of your vehicle.  Get the revs up as high as possible, into the red if you can, and only then put the clutch in.’

Shrugging, the Sergente took his seat.

‘If this works as I want it to, we may get patrols of bio-vores coming to investigate.  Once that crate catches fire, you all need to mount up and disperse.’

‘Definitely!’ agreed Dominione.  ‘How and where will you meet us?’

Slightly more difficult, that one.

‘Say one mile due west of here.  If the bio-vores keep following you, fall back another mile.’

Sarah, listening from the cab of the Bedford, pretending to sleep, wondered how the Doctor was going to manage travelling that far on his own, in the dark. 

Except it wouldn’t be solo, not if she could help it.

 

‘Now!’ snapped the Doctor.  Capriccio revved the engine up to a metallic scream as the dubious soldiers stood watching.

     I know how this bit ends because I wrote it.  You will have to wait.

Korean History

We do seem to have a martial theme today, don't we?  Well, that's just how the biscuit breaks, and you can't complain because you don't have to pay to read this scrivel, do you now?

     One thing I have noticed is that historical Korea was a tough nut to crack if you were an invader.  The Koreans, in fact, fought invaders - Chinese, Japanese and Mongols alike - very doughtily, and earned a grudging respect for doing so.  Art!

     I have noticed my historical work uses different spelling conventions from the K-dramas I've been watching, such as "Ch" instead of "J", which may just be the difference between Netflix and an Asian scholar.  Maybe I need to ask Jake Broe?

Finally -

Better get this canine-equine extravaganza on the road, I want some of those Holubtsi for lunch.  And, talking of dogs, I am looking out the window at the ever-falling rain and frowning at the thought of taking Edna for a trot.  A swim would be closer to the truth.

     Bah!

Money!

 No!  Not The Pink Floyd Song

Nor yet that one by the Swedish group whom I shall not name as I cordially detest them.  Think more along the lines of "The Wall Street Shuffle", one of my favouritest 10cc tracks.  

     Here an aside.  Yes, already! because I've only just remembered it.  Art!

     I distinctly remember thinking of this memoir whilst watching "Slow Horses" because, if MI5 are trailing you, you will never know.  That middle-aged housewife with a shopping bag?  MI5.  The cocky Asian lad with a line in patter?  MI5.  The slobby-looking bloke with five-o'clock shadow?  MI5.

     ANYWAY in my dream I was about to cross the road with a colleague and caught a glimpse of an electronic billboard, which had malfunctioned and thus only showed a small part of the above image.  Nevertheless, Conrad is a pretty sharp customer, even asleep, and I immediately realised that they were doing a television series based on the book.  "That's great!" I exclaimed.  "He comes from Manchester and a couple of times even worked there.  I bet I recognise the locations."  Turned to locate colleague and he's vanished as if he was never there.  O well.  I never liked him anyway.  Art!

     There you go, three birds with one stone, as we reference one of the better spy films, " - Soldier Spy" and Gary Oldman (impeccably dressed this time).

     Where were we?  O yes.  Money.  And, as promised, the further financial adventures of Sam Bankman-Fried, this time about shares rather than crypto-currency.  Okay, once upon a time there was a digital trading platform called 'Robinhood', who were set up in 2013 and very successfully.  Art!

     They also included crypto-currency amongst their trading options, which caught the attention of SBF, and late in 2022 he acquired a 7.5% stake in their shares, worth $540 million at the time.

     Straightforward, right?

     WRONG.  There are now five separate entities chasing these shares, stating they are the righteous owners.  SBF himself, predictably; the South Canadian Department of Justice; FTX Bankruptcy practitioners; BlockFi bankruptcy practitioners; Emergent Fidelity Technology liquidators.

     The DoJ disputes SBF's right to claim the shares, and of course Uncle Sam would love to get their hands on half a billion dollars.  This is where it gets complicated, because SBF purchased the shares through EFT, a company he owned 90% of, which itself had used funds borrowed from Alameda Research, one of the parent divisions of FTX.  Art!

     Lest we forget, SBF's girlfriend, Caroline Ellison, was the CEO of Alameda Research, which is kind of a conflict of interest in flashing neon letters ten feet tall, except FTX had nobody to investigate, caution or warn about this.
     To egg the pudding even more, there is very little official documentation about any of SBF's financial transactions, because see the paragraph above.  Don't forget, this is the man who insisted his corporate messaging system app delete any message instantly after reading, thus no messaging trail either, because see paragraph above.

     But hist!  There's more!

     The problem for whoever ends up with these shares is Robinhood itself.  It was valued at $50 billion when at it's most successful, a value which has dwindled to $18 billion today.  Their shares were traded at $56 each at that height, and are now down to under $9 each.  The company is also in severe financial trouble of it's own, having been fined $30 million for non-compliance, laying off over a quarter of it's staff and closing offices.  SBF's original holdings are now worth $435 million.  So, the risk is that resolving ownership will take so long that the shares will be worthless bits of paper.

     Money!

     We've not yet covered the Silvergate crisis.  I tell you, as a content creator, FTX is an absolute boon.

HOLUBTSI!

This came up on Operator Starsky's vlog feed as an idea for raising money for Ukraine.  I know, I know, it sounds like an angry Ukrainian pointing a gun at you and telling you to surrender, but hear me out.  His mate had suggested a cookbook of Ukrainian recipes, which readers commented very favourably on, also adding that they should add in photos of Ukrainian soldiers cooking these recipes.  Conrad, whom as we all know thinks with his stomach, was onside straight away.  Art!

Holubtsi in their natural state

     They are stuffed cabbage rolls, cooked in an oven in a tomato sauce.  I've got the recipe (from an Assyrian cook's website) and a constitutional stroll into Royton is required for a couple of ingredients.  Your Humble Scribe suspects that the real skill is in wrapping the filling.  We shall see.

Tattoo

No!  Not the practice of painfully inserting permanent markers into your skin.  I refer to the military tattoo, the most famous of which is the Edinburgh Tattoo, which is also the best.  No arguing, the Remote Nuclear Detonator stands ready.

     It comes, unusually, from the Dutch "Tap Toe", which in English means "Turn off the taps".  The taps in question being those on barrels of beer.  In other words, when the Taptoe bugle or drum got played, those who were in uniform had to stop drinking and get themselves back to barracks.  Art!

"The Sea Of Sand"

The Doctor is going to create a diversion in order to sneak into the supply depot, now occupied by the bio-vore invaders.

‘You’re not kidding!’ said Tam, with feeling.  ‘There must be ten tons of shells in that stack.  If they got heated up they’d fly everywhere.’

‘He’s exaggerating,’ said Roger, drily.  ‘It can’t contain more than a ton.  I don’t see how you intend to set it alight, ten tons or one.’

Hefting the four-gallon tin full of petrol, the Doctor pointed to the container.

‘With this, Lieutenant, with this!’

He tied the tin loosely to one end of a plank taken from the cargo floor of the Bedford.  The plank pivoted on the machine-gun pintle of one Sahariana, the gun removed and the plank lashed in place with cable.  At the other end of the plank a nail had been knocked through the wood and more cable tied to the nail.  This cable led to the rear axle of the second Sahariana, both rear wheels jacked clear of the ground.

After making pages of pencilled calculations in his diary, the Doctor  had fussed and shifted the vehicle orientation several times, to the exhaustion and bad temper of all involved. 

‘That tin won’t smash when it lands, not like a bottle,’ pointed out Davey.  ‘The stack won’t catch fire.’

‘That’s why I need a Lee-Enfield and a tracer bullet from one of your Bren magazines, Lieutenant.’

He's being a tad theatrical here, frankly.

A Right Pother

This will be almost the last in a series of images culled from a BBC News webpage, about the James Webb Space Telescope, because it's a handy way to generate content quickly.  Art!

     In case it's not clear - because it isn't - this is the asteroid Dimorphos, after it was hit head on by the DART kamikaze probe at high speed: 14,000 miles per hour.  Don't quibble about the focus, this is 7 million miles away.

     In case it's not clear, the deliberate collision was a stunning success, producing an effective change in the orbit of Dimorphos 3.6 times larger than expected, thanks to blasting out a thousand tons of debris.  This is a real insight into the practicalities of asteroid interception, because now smaller, more numerous interceptors could be used, or the danger zone for interception decreased.  Art!

Dimorphos before 're-modelling'

Finally -

A story came up on Bing that is so daft I'm going to have to wait to publish about it until I can get corroboration from another source.  Yes, it's about Ukraine.  It also recalls echoes of BOOJUM!s stable of killer animals, not the least of which is Clarissa Che Cannibal Combat Chicken -

Flee!  Save yourselves!

Our Traditional Look Back

 Across The Years

It's a little startling to realise that this is BOOJUM!'s nine-and-a-half year anniversary.  Come June we'll be into Year 10.  Conrad thinks his hair was still grey back when we began.

     ANYWAY let us begin with a pulp magazine cover only just this side of sleaziness, for which we need to cattle-prod Art into sentience.

     Hmmm that's a mighty daring outfit, young lady.  One presumes it is gaffer-taped to her skin in order to avoid any <ahem> costume malfunctions.  The spaceship seems to be just what Mister Freud ordered, a massive phallic symbol that is either firing a nose-mounted blaster, or it's a giant spike, just to be even more phallic.

     I've heard of both authors here on the cover.  Leigh Brackett was one of those rarities not often seen until a generation later, that being a female science fiction writer.  She also worked on film scripts.

     Edmond Hamilton was one of the big names in Space Opera, whom we may come back to.

2022

BOOJUM!: Go To El (comsatangel2002.blogspot.com)

2021

BOOJUM!: A Mindless Horde Is Attacking The Capitol! (comsatangel2002.blogspot.com)

2020

BOOJUM!: Siren Weasel Suit (comsatangel2002.blogspot.com)

2019

BOOJUM!: Well Well - (comsatangel2002.blogspot.com)

2018

BOOJUM!: The Beach Boys (comsatangel2002.blogspot.com)

2017

BOOJUM!: On The Buses (comsatangel2002.blogspot.com)

2016

BOOJUM!: Oh Hermione - You Potter. (comsatangel2002.blogspot.com)

2015

BOOJUM!: Snakes, Cakes, Tanks and Cranks (comsatangel2002.blogspot.com)

2014

BOOJUM!: BOOJUM! Bounces Back! (comsatangel2002.blogspot.com)

FTX - The Gift That Keeps On Giving!

In Terms Of Blog Content Anyway

Conrad has to admit that the way stocks and shares operate is pretty opaque to him, although ex-colleague Manni, an Economics graduate, said the London Stock Exchange was the world's biggest casino.  I still don't understand how that scene in the stock exchange in "Trading Places" works, and just blithely put it down to white magic.  Art!

     Then we have the new kid on the block, crypto-currency.  People bought into this literally, openly boasting how much their Bitcoin wallet was worth now as opposed to when they opened it. Don't get too smart, matey, because come the Revolution Shelli is going to pursue you with a knife and fork*.  Art!

      That's Bitcoin's trading value over time.  What it will be this time next year is anyone's guess, since the dust from FTX will have settled a little.

     ANYWAY back to Sam Bankman-Fried (you couldn't make that up, could you?), who has just pled 'Not Guilty' to eight charges of fraud.  Wiser counsel than I have frowned at that, since two of his major partners in crime, Caroline Ellison and Richard Wang NO SNIGGERING AT THE BACK (it's Chinese for 'King') have already pled Guilty.  So, they've already done their deals, probably blaming 99% of malfeasance on their old chum.  There is speculation that SBF is going to try and negotiate a deal with the prosecution, rather than spend 115 years in jail.  Art!

     You'll notice he's not wearing an orange boilersuit.  That is because he was granted bail and is now living at his parent's house with an ankle tag.  Bail was set at $250 million, which his parents couldn't cover themselves, at which point the plot thickens, because two so-far anonymous donors have put up the rest of the bail money.  SBF wants them to remain anonymous, and so do the donors, because revealing who they are might be embarrassing.  O, SBF also claims they might become the target of threats, because that's what happened to his parents.  Yes, SBF, they were threatened because you involved them on the periphery of your financial fraud.  The hilarious irony - to outsiders, not his parents - is that they are highly respectable Professors in the legal field.  

     This is definitely a 'before' picture as they're both smiling.

     But wait!  There's more!  SBF has other restrictions in place.  For one thing, he's not supposed to trade more than $1,000 per day, and yet a series of very detailed accusations have been levelled at him for activity on the old FTX Alameda Research accounts, totalling $684,000 in transfers to an Ethereum wallet.  If he is responsible (no SEC investigation yet) then it counts as rank stupidity as he must be aware he's going to be under severe scrutiny.

     Nor is this all, except you can only have so much financial folly, greed and stupidity in an Intro before you convert to Communism and occupy Wall Street, so we'll call a halt here and merely tease you with two words: Robinhood & Silvergate.  Art!

Close enough

     Don't forget wise old Conrad's definition of crypto-currency: a scamble.

     Props and a shout out to Joe Blogs and his Youtube vlog for making this stuff comprehensible.

This May Be Malicious Compliance

 - salted with Manglement, or the other way round.  It's one of those "I don't pay you to think, I pay you to do what I say" which never ends well for the manager.  If an employee comes back to you and says either "Are you sure?" or "I want that in writing" then manager beware!

     Okay, Original Poster worked as a clerk in a software company, and was responsible for shipping product out to conventions and meetings and displays.  They were very experienced, so much so that OP knew what to ship out even if items had been omitted by the requester.  Art!

"They ship"

     Except their boss, being bossy and bitchy, decided that OP only send out what was on the list.  Nothing more.  No questions to be asked.  No input.  No compensating.  Of course this immediately messed things up for the marketers, who complained.  Then OP is handed a request form by BB for the company to attend a major convention.  It is immediately obvious that various important bits of kit are absent, so OP ships out only what's on the list.

     The presentation was a disaster.  In fact the owner of the business, who was BB's husband (!) quietly took OP aside and told him to ignore whatever BB said and go back to his previous method.  So  he did.

     And BB?  She had to eat - Art!

Another Of THAT Crossword's 'Clues' For You

If you're feeling a little depressed that you're not solving many of these, don't forget that it took Lord Peter, Bunter and two young ladies working together to solve the original.  Now, the clue: "It was a brazen business when, King Phalaris made these for men. (5)"

     Conrad actually solved this one, presumably because I Googled 'Phalaris'.  The solution is OVENS.

     A quick dash of Google-fu and - Art!

     If you fell foul of Phalaris, why, you were roasted alive inside a brass bull.

     What a splendid chap!  I bet he was a scream at parties.

"The Sea Of Sand"

One of the alien bio-vores is rashly gloating about how well his little invasion is going.

He called up the HQ building at the Infiltration Complex.

‘What are those wretched Farmers doing?’ he barked at the technician who answered.  ‘They’d better not be standing around uselessly!’

‘No, Assault Leader!  They are removing the remaining sand from the Complex, dumping it beyond the rim of the site, sir.’

‘Eviscerate one of them as an example to the others.  If the trans-mat is not repaired by the time all the sand is removed, Eviscerate them all.’

‘Immediately, Assault Leader!’

Ah but it was good to be the conqueror!  A new world to plunder, limitless life-energy to absorb, and the local natives not powerful enough to halt the process.

 

At the Doctor’s request, Roger had drawn from memory an outline plan of the depot, numbering the squares that represented piled crates of supplies.  The Doctor’s attention was on a pyramid of crates full of two-pounder anti-tank shells, the very one he had taken refuge upon.  It made a good target because one crate had already been opened up by his own hands.

‘Set that on fire and there’d be a pretty bonfire display, hmm?’ he asked the collected soldiers.  All except Doretti, the Italian radio-operator on sentry-duty, were gathered around the Doctor’s Heath Robinson contraption.

     Heath Robinson translates in South Canada to Rube Goldberg.  Inventions all done with pulleys and bits of string.

Finally -

We have new neighbours, a couple with a very young baby about one month old.  I think they're re-decorating their upstairs room next to mine, judging by the sounds.  Well and fine, except Your Humble Scribe rather blotted his copybook last night, opening up a video on Telegram.

     Normally these things are silent.  Not this one!  O no, the creator had seen fit to add a BANGING HOUSE DANCE TRACK AT FULL VOLUME, thanks very much.  Conrad got told off by Wonder Wifey.

     I blame Putin.

The Tin Of Pu himself

     And with that, Vulnavia, we are done.

*  A blunt knife.

O Dearie Me!

Dog Buns!

Quora, I tell you, don't ever go there, it's more addictive than a Magic Smoke Flute loaded with di-acetyl morphine.  I've just spent ages on it when Conrad should have only bothered with a quick scan, except I kept going 'Just one more refresh' and it's now past 19:00.  Not only that, I've got more episodes of 'Slow Horses' to watch, not to mention '1917'.  We'll see just how much the latter irritates my Military History Gland.

     ANYWAY I now have to resort to posting a list of links, rather than creating new, fresh content, because I cannot be bottomed.  Art!  Click-baity picture!

     Well, I did Google 'sleazy magazine covers' and this is the tamest still SFW, so don't hate me too much.

2022

BOOJUM!: Chilling (comsatangel2002.blogspot.com)

2021

BOOJUM!: Hark Hark The Shark! (comsatangel2002.blogspot.com)

2020

BOOJUM!: The Travails Of Travel (comsatangel2002.blogspot.com)

2019

BOOJUM!: That Ballfoot Game (comsatangel2002.blogspot.com)

2018

BOOJUM!: More Of Matters Martial (comsatangel2002.blogspot.com)

2017

BOOJUM!: Old Sparky (comsatangel2002.blogspot.com)

2016

BOOJUM!: More BIG! BIG Cats (comsatangel2002.blogspot.com)

2015

BOOJUM!: Ontogeny! (comsatangel2002.blogspot.com)

2014

BOOJUM!: BOOJUM! Bounces Back! (comsatangel2002.blogspot.com)

They Paved Paradise -

  - And Put Up A Parking Lot

They did?  GOOD!  I've been onto the council for years about Paradise and it's lack of drainage, not to mention how it turns into a sea of mud from September to March, AND it's got an infestation of Himalayan Balsam and Giant Hogweed to boot.  Art!

The evil weed itself

     You see, where Joni went wrong was assuming that 'Paradise' is a one-size-fits-all nirvana which we all aspire to equally in the same way.  Conrad begs to differ, because no two people will have the same idea of what Paradise is.   Some folks, you see, will think that a parking lot is positive perfection that cannot be bettered, and what, exactly, was Paradise?  Pshaw!  Who wants rolling acres of grass and flowers when you suffer from hay fever!  Or gambolling lambs, because you're allergic to wool.  Plus, who, exactly, looks after the sewerage and plumbing systems in Paradise?  Art!

       Conrad can tell you, as one who had to use an outdoor toilet when a student, that a plumbed-in china toilet is pretty close to Paradise in itself.  What about money and specie?  Because if pound notes grow on trees then sterling as a medium of exchange will cease to have value, and you'd have to fall back on a barter system, which means either goods you've made yourself, which are unique and cannot be replicated, or you'd have to isolate and guard your particular orchard that grows towels or dinner plates or Axminster carpet.  The former means hard work and the latter means security fencing and patrols 24/7, neither of which appear particularly paradiasical.  Not to Conrad, anyway.  Some people like working with their hands or being Big And Important, so that scenario would indeed be paradise for them.  Do you see the weakness in your assertion, Joni?

"Joni was then attacked by a head-eating hat"

     Let me continue this theme by abruptly changing tack and heading back in time to the Middle Ages, where we see the legend of the land of Cockayne come into being.  I think Soft Machine did an album of the same title.  NO!  It has nothing to do with the drug WASH OUT YOUR FILTHY MINDS although that does illustrate how Paradise changes over time.  Art!

     It's actually derived from the French 'cocaigne', which was a small cake.  The mythical land of Cockayne (English spelling variant) was a land of plenty, where it rained cheese and cooked fowls flew into one's mouth, and where edible livestock walked around ready-cooked, with eating utensils conveniently stuck in them.

     This, you see, was Paradise to the wretched medieval peasantry, who had to toil all day long for scant provender.

     To us, the population of 2023?  O the horror!  How fare the vegans?  Those who cannot tolerate gluten?  The dangers of obesity and diabetes would become pandemic.  Small children would die from being hit by wheels of Cheddar, and how many would suffocate from inhaling roast quail?

     Whereas the youth of today probably see Paradise as having unlimited phone data and a permanent internet connection, and cars made out of foam-rubber*.  Take heed, Joni, take heed.

Metal, foam-rubber or spiked?

     Okay, having insulted all the Joni Mitchell fans out there, let us move on from this Intro and insult everyone else!

More Of Manglement

Because idiots always get promoted to one level beyond that which they are capable within.  Art!

     Picture the scene: a business enterprise amounting to many thousands of people has moved into a brand-new office block of 14 storeys.  Naturally, the executives feel like marking their new territory to prove that they are Big And Important, so they forbid their peons to eat at their desks.

     Ooops.  You can see where this is going, can't you?

     In an act of calculated malice, the organisation's entire IT staff, all 200 of them, left the building to get lunch.  They would be out for an hour.  

     Productivity tanked.  

     Their Chief Information Officer saw the light - and the figures - and the policy was instantly revoked.

     Productivity increased beyond the norm, because then people would continue to work during lunch.  O wise CIO!

     Rest assured, gentle reader, that Conrad sought permission to dip his stale rolls into a cup of hot Marmite and that it didn't count as eating hot food at his desk.  I know you worry so.

Seeing Stars

More illuminating prints from the James Webb Space Telescope, which is a telescope in space, for those unaware.  This makes a difference as it doesn't have to cope with all the problems created by being at the bottom of an atmosphere.  Art!

Wolf-Rayet 140

     This rather intriguing picture is a star throwing off clouds of gas, as these particular stars do towards the end of their lives.  The star is one pair of a binary, and the invisible companion is having a tidal effect on the gas, compressing it into waves of dust.  And for your information, those rings are a light year in diameter.  No small phenomenon!

"The Sea Of Sand"

We now switch perspective to one of the bio-vore invaders of planet Earth, who is frankly smug about his situation.

Assault Leader Icono felt moderately satisfied with the progress of his detachment to date.

          True, they had suffered forty losses.  However, fifty Warriors were now budding a new offspring, so the losses would be made good in days. 

Two Transport Cars had been badly damaged and another two destroyed by the alien’s fully-covered gun vehicles.  Once again an unbelievable use of metal!  To have a completely enclosed war-fighting machine.  His sub-leader, killed in the first Transport Car, underestimated the small aliens.  Once again, with the Mobile Repair Unit the two damaged Transport Cars would be operational soon.  Not only that, with all their recycled metal the Factory building could manufacture more Transport Cars, or remote sentinels.

The life-signs scanner didn’t show any more viable victims.  A hitch in the device's operation made it throw up a random blip a short distance from the conquered supply site.  Apart from that it didn’t show any more targets.

A pity!  Those last humans, ninety of them, were most welcome fodder.  Small yet satisfying.  Once the trans-mat was sending again, he could send a tribute party to Excellency Lord Sur.  In the meantime his detachment needed to put up with half a dozen Farmers, stuck on Target World Seventeen when the trans-mat failed.  

     Yeah, yeah, feel smug whilst you can, matey, for the Doctor is plotting.

Finally -

Blue skies!  Sorry if this exultation seems out of place, it's just that when I leave the house in the morning, it's dark, and when I get home in the evening it's once again dark.  My desk doesn't face a window in the office so the best I get is second-hand daylight, which has been mostly of the grey variety.  In fact it looks nice enough outside for me to don my Crocs and take Edna for a trot; up to the Summit rather than down Tandle Hill Road because every dog walker in the North-West will be heading for Tandle Hill Park.  Trust me on that - EVERY one of them.

*  So that, when they impact idiots crossing the road whilst glued to a mobile's screen, said impact is non-fatal.  In Conrad's paradise the cars come with added tungsten-steel spikes.

Happy Valley

No, Not What You're Thinking

Because 1)  You are predictable and 2) when does the blog ever follow a sensible route on it's way to a topic? Very rarely, is the answer.  Yes yes yes, there is a new series of some police procedural drama featuring Sarah Lancashire - I bet she goes down well in Leeds - which Conrad has seen scant seconds of, and which would be better described as 'Misery Valley' or "The Trough Of Despond".  Art!

     Neither of them look pleased to be there, do they?  O and it's filmed in Yorkshire, which only heightens the irony.

     ANYWAY none of that has anything to do with Shangri-La, which title popped into Conrad's head this afternoon when he was gloomily pondering what this Intro could be about, since mention of the Tin of Pu seems to put people off.

     It's the title of a novel and a film, the former written by James Hilton and the latter starring Robert Donat if I recall correctly.  It was filmed under the moniker "Lost Horizon" and I was right about Robert Donat.  Art!

     The films premise is that Shangri-La is a valley - see the connection with today's titular geographic feature - cut off from the outside world by a ring of unscalable mountains.  Into this paradise arrive a party of Westerners, whose plane crashes in the valley.  They learn that the inhabitants are governed, in a mild way, by the monks in a lamasery, that they are profoundly content, and also practically immortal.  RD's character, a seasoned and jaded diplomat, is very taken by the locale.

     Hmmmm Conrad, being the cynic that he is, wonders about the genetic makeup of these pacific folks.  Art!

Vintage of 1937

     It's an acknowledge classic, which Your Humble Scribe blushes to admit not having seen.  In fact I've seen more of "Happy Valley" than "Lost Horizon".  Wonder Wifey has seen it and was highly delighted to have done so.

     Because we must face unpalatable truths, Conrad also has to admit that there was one of the most ill-advised remakes ever to infest celluloid: a musical remake of LH.  Quite why the producers or studio thought a remake was a burning necessity in the minds of the public is open to question, and why they chose to labour under the nature of a musical is also one of those mysteries we shall never know the answer to.  Art!

     If Conrad ever feels that he's having too much fun in life, I will go watch a short length of this film and restore my deep and abiding hatred of the human race.
     ANYWAY there is considerable competition amongst locales in Asia to claim the title of the valley and mountain range that Hilton was inspired by.  There are aspirants in Pakistan and China, and Hilton actually visited one site in Pakistan close to the Chinese border: the Hunza Valley.  This is an isolated verdant valley at the western end of the Himalayas in Pakistan and so may well have been the inspiration for Ol' Jim.  Rather than living a lifespan of aeons, however, the locals have skin like corrugated cardboard due to their exposure to the elements.  Art!

A couple of awkward Hunza teenagers

     Well, they live in a valley and they seem happy enough.

More Of Manglement

Usually in these tales Company One gets acquired by Company Two, and things go down the pan as swingeing cuts take place, morale plummets and the workforce deserts in droves.

     Not in this story.  Original Poster said that the tech company he worked at was haemhorraging money thanks to stupid management and HR policies.  To cut costs the company did away with free, high-quality coffee and installed expensive machines that served brown dishwater.  Ooops.  Art!

     HR and the execs <hack spit> had their own, expensive coffee machines, so the working peons would leave the building to get their brew from Starbucks, not bothering to clock out.  Productivity dropped.

     In comes Company 2.  The execs and HR were abruptly kicked out of their private offices, which became breakrooms with free, high-quality espresso and snacks for the peons.  HR were mostly fired and the execs, seeing the writing on the wall, 'Left to pursue new challenges elsewhere'.  Productivity soared.  Art!

Dispensing liquid work ethic

     OP also said that within a quarter the company was back in profit.

     Nice to have one of these 'acquisition' stories end up well.

That Dog Buns! Crossword Again

Don't frown like that, it destroys the natural beauty of your face.  After all, we've gone through over half this wretched invention of Dot Sayers, we may as well continue and finish it off.  Okay, here's today's 'clue': "Bring me skin and a needle or a stick; A needle does it slowly, a stick does it quick"

     And the answer?  Actually this one is solvable.

     "TATTOO" as in 'To beat a tattoo' or even 'Beating the Edinburgh Tattoo", which is a good image to go out on.  Art!

BECAUSE YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MUCH BAGPIPE!

"The Sea Of Sand"

The Doctor is plotting to get into the depot at Mersa Martubah, which is a very bad idea since it's full of killer aliens with terrifying technology.  Not that same would ever deter the Doctor!

‘Splendid!’ chortled the Doctor, rubbing his hands in satisfaction, making Roger look at him with alarm.

          ‘Hold hard, you’re surely not planning on going back in there!  It’s swarming with those bi-vores.’

          ‘Bio-vores.  Yes it is, which is why I shall create a diversion.’

Sarah couldn’t catch what they said next, as all three moved off the truck. 

          So! He’s planning on swanning-about on his own, without anyone to watch his back.  Typical! she grumbled silently.  And not if I can help it! she added.

 

          The Doctor looked across the gravel plain to the depot, where a black tank stood guard, and occasional bio-vores could be seen patrolling.  They were safe in the wadi, perhaps even protected against the bio-vore’s equivalent of radar.

          ‘You can’t cross that.  They’d spot you and knock you flat with their ray guns before you got half-way there.’

          ‘They are more correctly described as “neural-inhibitors” rather than ray guns, at least from the description Sergente Capriccio gave.  I’ve no intention of crossing it before the diversion is in place.  Now, Lieutenant, do you think you can find me rope or cable, a few empty bottles and a pint or two of petrol?’

     Devious Doctor Is - Devious

 

Speak Now ....

Conrad is unsure if this counts as Politics, Farce or Just Plain Bonkers.  You may be vaguely aware that one of the South Canadian Wizard Lizard Gizzard party is trying to get elected as Speaker Of The House, because of the power and privileges it brings.  Art!

"Ow!"

     This is Kev.  He's trying to get into the position, and about 20 of his own party consistently vote 'No' at each voting attempt.  So far this dog and pony show has gone round 6 times, as concessions keep being offered, to no avail.  The Ice Cream Bandits party, on the other hand, have brought along buckets of popcorn and boxes of doughnuts, as they find the whole process vastly entertaining.

     One wonders what Jon Sopel, former BBC South Canadian chief correspondent, would have made of it.  Art!

Well there you are.  Note the wry grin.

     And with that, Vulnavia, we are well and truly done.