Like That One?
Or this one?
The reason I ask is because lo! we're continuing with that unexpectedly long and fruitful list of the 68 most mind-melting sci-fi books as seen on 'Sci-Fi Odyssey's Youtube channel. What is the next on the list at Number 36? Art!
That's a whacking big clue.
"Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?" by Philip K. Dick (1968). Yes, I have read it, though only the one time. There is a plot twist half-way through that absolutely threw me for a loop until it was resolved, but I'm going to be coy and not explain what it is. I have also seen 'Blade Runner' and am old enough that it was at the cinema, and 'Blade Runner 2049', too. Ridley Scott, the director, and Jordan Cronenwerth, the cinematographer, crafter an absolute classic that is one of the most influential modern sci-fi films evah. PKD died before it was released in cinemas, but had been invited to view daily rushes and asked 'How did you get inside my head?' because what was on-screen was how he viewed the novel.
The original title would very definitely have baffled potential audiences, so the phrase 'Blade Runner' was used instead, pinched from a different novel title and because Scotty liked the sound of it. Art!
No. 35: Lessons In Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus (2022). Never heard of it. From the blurb about it, being a novel about a female chemist becoming a cook show host, it doesn't even belong on this list. Art!
And so we move on.
No. 34: Children Of God by Mary D. Russell (1998). Yes, a sequel to 'The Sparrow' by the very same author. The sole surviving protagonist of the original first contact mission gone horribly wrong is sent back to the same planet, Rakhat, presumably with more people accompanying him. Wev.
No. 33: Star Maker by Olaf Stapledon (1937). No! Not Simon Cowell's biography. Look at the date you borks*. No, I have not read this one. I have read 'Odd John', about a Homo Superior with finger joints that work both ways, and
ANYWAY this is one of those books that tackles Big Themes and which seems to have been profoundly influential on later authors such as Lewis and Clarke. The sci-fi authors not the explorers or the television show. Art!
Sounds a tad indigestible to Conrad. No doubt there'll be a paucity of exotic green-skinned alien females and gigantic ray guns <sad face>.
No. 32: A Fire Upon The Deep by Vernor Vinge (1992). Hmmm you know that name sounds like a pseudonym. I mean, have you ever met anyone called 'Vernor' before? Me neither. He al
ANYWAY AGAIN I remember reading one of his earlier works, having got it cheap as a remainder in John Menzies. Unfortunately I cannot remember that title, but checking with a quick bit of Google-fu means that it definitely wasn't AFUTD. Art!
It has an intriguing premise: that the Milky Way galaxy is divided into concentric 'Zones Of Thought' that affect biological or machine intelligence, from the 'Utmost Depths' to the 'Transcend'. Plus there is a rogue super-AI intent on galactic conquest. Ha! I remember when it was all evil emperors and their minions. Darth Vader, you have been supplanted by software.
No. 31: The Dosadi Experiment by Frank Herbert (1977). Yes, he did write other sci-fi books, and I have read a couple. Is this one of them? I shall check. Aha! No. One of the other books of his I've read is 'Whipping Star', and TDE is set in the same universe and features the same protagonist, whom I seem to recall had been married fifty or sixty times. Glutton for punishment. Art!
The 'Dosadi' of the title is a planet, and the experiment is to create humans and aliens who are incredibly tough and violent and vengeful and vicious and even vituperative, at which point I've run out of 'v' words. The experiment succeeds too well, threatening the bampot civilisation that created it in the first place.
No 30: Between The Strokes Of Night by Charles Sheffield (1985). Another I've never heard of. Let me see what the precis is. Wait one. Art!
The first part is set in 2010, when a global nuclear holocaust destroys Earth and it's civilisation. Ooops. Those who survive this are revived from their suspended animation in the 277th century, where Hom. Sap. now lives in space colonies. Probably a bit jaw-dropping for the survivors.
Okay, that's a good place to stop. Your Humble Scribe must say he didn't think he'd get this much juice out of the list, and we still have another 38 books to go, with my citric descriptions to match. I bet you can hardly wait.
Someone Ran This Through ChatGPT To Translate
I think I got this image from Twitter but I've not credited anyone's Tweet nor copied any text, so that's partly guesswork. Art!
I'd be verrry wary, were I an orc, of taking any of this as factual or accurate. 'Making attitude to safe troops' perhaps means that the orcs commanders value their men's lives and seek to protect them, which is about as far as you can get from objective reality. Most Ruffian officers are out to get rich from bribery and extortion, being so crooked they make lawyers look honest. 'Accepted with diseases' means that having a highly-contagious infection need not bar you from a short career in the Ruffian military, where you can generously spread it to your compatriots. Art!
Thanks to 'Beefeater' over on Twitter for bringing this to light. These are exactly what they look like - wooden stakes, made of ash, vampires, fighting for the use of. Their purchase quadrupled in 2025, possibly for second-line troops in Ukraine when a gun would be too expensive, especially if it was used to fire bullets. There has also been an uptick in the sale of voodoo dolls. Art!
just a possibility .....
Further To That -
Mordorvia might be battling in Ukraine with that country as the most direct threat to the orcses, but which country lives rent-free in their collective head? Art!
You see, GREAT BRITAIN <knowing this will irritate Lavrov most violently> has overtaken South Canada as Barad-Dur's primary opponent, at least as long as the Flabby Farting Fraudster survives. The television host Solovyev routinely drools at his fantasies of destroying the Allotment Of Eden with nuclear missiles, never once mentioning to his audience that the Allotment Of Eden also had nuclear missiles, SLBM ones on Vanguard submarines that would glass Western Ruffia in 30 minutes. To formalise this
"It appears that Russia considers the UK one of its top Western intelligence targets” thanks to its close relationship with the US, and because it is seen as central to the Western anti-Russian lobby, according to a 2020 UK Intelligence and Security Committee report."
Nothing more than the truth. Despite having different political parties in charge with different leaders, GREAT BRITAIN has consistently supported Ukraine with weapons, training, money and political clout, exercising that Mordorvia no longer has: extensive soft power.
They also hate us for having 007, who is cooler than a fridge factory in the Arctic. AND for not having any Ruffian authors on that list of 68 works**.
Don't mention the Crimean War -
You Have To Ask What Were They Thinking Or Drinking?
Moving from the heavy themes and topics of sci-fi, Mordorvia and clueless vampire killers, let us revisit one of the 'Museum Of Failure's entries. This one would appeal to Col, the biker, who began our rounds of drinking in Wool with the signature phrase 'Harley's are <short rude word for excrement redacted>!' Harley's are those monstrous motorbikes that middle-aged men buy to prove they are still young and dangerous. They wish! Art?
Yes, a perfume. This sounds as wise as Colgate's frozen meals. HD tried to diversify in the mid-90s, bringing out products such as Christmas ornaments and baby clothes. They were not a success and HD still has trouble retaining it's core customer base, whom violently objected to the brand being both trivialised and commercialised.
WHAT BLASPHEMY IS THIS!!!
I will not apologise for using THREE exclamation marks, as I am shocked to my core. Art!
<gags in horrified silence, too shocked to verbalise how anathema this is>
When I take over, this will become an offence punishable by at least five years in prison with mandated tea-brewing courses.
Conrad will go downstairs and pat and stroke his teapots in case they feel sad or neglected.
Finally -
No Biercisms as we are waaaay over count.
CYA!
* Like a dork yet more so.
** I may be reaching a bit here.
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