Like A Woman Spurned
I paraphrase, of course - obviously! - from the original source material, which was William Congreve's 'The Mourning Bride' (1679) where the quote is:
"Heav'n has no rage, like love to hatred turn'd
Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorned." Art!
No, the English language was not set in stone in the seventeenth century, and you were allowed to apostrophise to sound more poetic.
ANYWAY as I sit here wating a miniature bar of Green and Blacks dark chocolate, which is as bitter as Ambrose Bierce, and a nice cup of freshly perked Americano, I'm listening to my i-pod and getting ready to type out this Intro. My handwritten notes on the title subject are well over a page of A4, so I'm unsure if we'll need to do this in two parts.
ANYWAY AGAIN this is a tale of epic revenge under the title 'Woman Finds Out Her Boyfriend Is Lying About Everything' and it's a wild ride indeed, as narrated by SCorned Outraged Wrathful Lady, SCOWL hereafter. Her initial name for her boyfriend is unrepeatable here; in the update she re-names him 'Adam', which will serve as Awful Disgusting Amoral Munt'r from now on. Art!
She seems to have encountered ADAM on the rebound of leaving a 12-year relationship, which might have led her to miss the Chinese Communist May Day Parade of red flags. SCOWL characterised the pair as having a 'Slightly tumultuous but overall fun relationship' and that ADAM was 'charming and handsome'. Also with 3 children from two different exes. There's your first scarlet banner, SCOWL.
She then begins to list ADAM's dishonesty.
THE LIES
1) Viv, the mother of his oldest child, was stopping him from seeing her.
2) His grandma had custody of the other two children he'd had with Jen, because both he and her travelled extensively.
3) When Jen travelled to their city, she did it under the auspices of 'work training'. This then became a perman'nt relocation. No kids. Because it was apparently more important to keep them in school together than with their parents. Art!
Because I'm listening to it
4) SCOWL then casually mentions that ADAM's 'business' was dealing in cannabis, which he would obtain from states where it was legal, and then sell it to customers in other non-legal states vis the USPS. JUMPING JACK GAG IT'S A GIANT RED FLAG! Thus she thought nothing of him travelling to Oregon, where cannabis is legal.
5) Whilst in Oregon, ADAM's phone was mysteriously dead whenever she tried to call him, despite him carrying a power bank everywhere. Art!
This is a power bank. Whatever one of those is.
6) ADAM's side-piece in Oregon posts pictures of them being intimately affectionate on Facebook, possibly unaware that SCOWL is actively seeking ADAM. When she sees these pictures she instantly realises what his 'business' in Oregon is and dumps ADAM by phone.
Probably fuelled by a bottle of wine, SCOWL posts on Facebook about what scum ADAM is. Guess who sees this? No, not ADAM, he'd block'd her. His first partner, Viv. Then the extent of his dishonesty emerges.
THE TRUTH
1) ADAM never attempts to contact his oldest daughter, ever. He has her phone number, except he wants nothing to do with her.
2) He owes Viv $20,000 in due child support, which he avoids by moving around frequently and only getting cash-in-hand gigs, thus avoiding wage garnishm'nt. Art!
Thank you, AI
3) He had an extensive criminal record including fraud, larceny and drug charges, which SCOWL claims to be TOTALLY UNAWARE of. Rose-coloured glasses rendering red flags as white ones?
4) Jen was his partner for 9 years and is still very much in a relationship with him.
5) They gave their 2 younger children to grandma because they were more interested in taking lots and lots of drugs. Which don't mix well with kids.
6) He spawned a fourth child, which he and the mother foisted off on another man in a 17-year old case of paternity fraud.
7) The Oregon side-piece was his childhood lover, whom also has fraud and larceny charges against her. Also a case of vehicular homicide when her drunk driving killed her passenger.
Inspired by all this, SCOWL pays for a background criminal check. Art!
THE REVENGE
Who has cause to hate ADAM ev'n more than SCOWL? Viv. Viv has cause to wish him ill. Very ill indeed. So, SCOWL generously and nobly sends her all the info she has on ADAM: Social Service Number, State IDs, his past and present addresses. Viv calls her state's Child Social Services, whom open a case on ADAM if they don't already have one, and whom get his driver's licence revoked. Unless he pays a substantial portion of that $20,000 he won't get that licence back. Art!
Being both vengeful and canny, SCOWL had sent Viv this information one day before ADAM's Federal Tax Refund, which a quick Google reveals is in the region of $3,000. The CSS intercept and take the lot, meaning Viv gets it.
Being both vicious and well-inform'd, SCOWL informs the Internal Revenue Service about ADAM's brother in law, who uses his business to launder ADAM's dirty drug money. Believe me, the IRS are like a pack of rabid bulldogs when it comes to money and hardened criminals hope never to encounter them on the warpath. As soon as they take action, ADAM's revenue will vanish.
THE OUTCOME
From just over four months later. Apparently ADAM stayed in touch with Viv for months, hoping she would give him half his tax money back. He never got a cent. After ADAM forgot his oldest daughter's birthday, Jen called Viv to defend him. Never the sharpest tool in the shed, she inadvertently gave away that he now had a proper job, probably because he dar'd not defraud on taxes now that he was on the IRS radar, and where it was. Viv, being vengeful and canny, called the CSS, who promptly garnished 25% of his wages.
The cherry on top came a few weeks later, when Viv called SCOWL to inform that Jen had cheated on ADAM and they were over. ADAM was now homeless.
There was a silver - well, brass, really - lining, for him, because what with the wage garnishment and that tax refund, he got his driving licence back and was now liv'ng in his car. Art!
Well, we're not at Count, so I shall continue to explicate, elucidate and educate.
What Can Possibly Go Wrong?
Skip if you have any sympathy for Mordorvia, for I have come to berry them. Berries fired from a bait catapult.
ANYWAY allow me to inform you that the Ruffians have oil rigs in the Caspian Sea. They were hit by long-range Ukrainian drones back on four dates in mid-December. Art!
They were hit again by Ukraine on the 11th of January, in a classic follow-up attack whilst repairs were being completed. This means more time offline, and a calculus as to whether it's sensible to keep repairing them if Ukraine keeps hitting them.
And, of course, there were no defences, because WCPGW?
Saying The Quiet Part Out Loud
Or, being professionally two-faced. Actually, an inability to judge what comments are beyond the pale, such as 'Quiet, piggy', is one of the symptoms of fronto-parietal dementia. Art!
Graham is one of the Republicans who is studiously loyal to the Orange Land Whale when face to face, so it's interesting to see he realises how completely hatstand Donold is. If a toady like Graham feels this way, one wonders how many others in the Ice Cream Bandit party feel the same? Watch this space and buy in more popcorn.
King Canuke
NO! that is not a typo, it is an hilarious jest. You ought to be aware of the legend of King Canute, who tried to turn back the sea in a display of sheer stupidity. IN REALITY, Canute, a firmly committed Christian, was demonstrating that only God could turn back the tides. There were strict limits to the temporal power. Art!
This is a Cold War Royal Observer Corps bunker at Tunstall, constructed in 1959 when the sea was 100 yards away. The idea is that the two-man team would monitor nuclear explosions and fallout The unstoppable encroachment and erosion means it will be 25 feet lower down, in pieces, in a matter of days.
So long, CYA!
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