To Measure The Misery Of Mordorvia
Space launches. Go on, admit you never thought of that as a measurement of how well or ill the Ruffian economy was doing, did you? Selecting this as a topic allows Conrad to do more of his not-so-gentle shoeing by comparison. Plus, I get to mention the South Canadian 'Artemis' mission again. I did warn you about this. Art!
This is the Artemis 1 launching, an unmanned mission sent to test the Orion spacecraft and travel to the Moon and back, which it did successfully in 2022.
The following year, 2023, Ruffia launched the Luna-25, because they hate hate hate it when they get upstaged. This was their first lunar launch in 50 years. You know, since the South Canadians beat them to the Moon back in 1969. Art!
Luna-25 succeeded in the same way Ruffian air defences stop Ukrainian drones' it impacted the lunar regolith at Mach 5 and disintegrated in a crater ten yards wide. Ooops. $200 million up in smoke. As a further humiliation, the Indian Chandrayaan-3 probe soft-landed successfully shortly afterwards, and for only $75 million. One suspects the orcs were siphoning off some of their budget, as is traditional in Mordorvia.
Thanks to 'Jason Jay Smart' for the meat of this narrative, and sparking my interest in this issue of launches. According to his data, Roscosmos, the Ruffian space agency, only made 17 launches in 2025, which is the same number as in 1961, when their cosmonaut program was in it's infancy. By comparison, SpaceX, Elong Tusk's toy rocket project, managed 170 launches. NASA itself managed 109 and the global total for 2025 was 330. Thus Mordorvia managed 5% of the global total. That's a bit rubbish. Art!
As of November 2025
That's the launch pad for manned flight at Baikonur, and no, it's not supposed to collapse like that. This means no manned Ruffian launches until it gets fixed. Conrad isn't sure if this would come out of the regional budget or the federal budget.
Talking of regional and federal budgets, Belgorod oblast is having trouble at present, thanks to being next door to Ukraine and thus a perfect target for drone swarms. These have been going after utilities to great effect. Such great effect that the Regional Governor, Vyacheslav Gladkov, has had to publicly admit that the region is entering 'a very difficult period', which is Ruffian for 'an absolute catastrophe'. Art!
That's Vlad, taking care not to sit near a window. What is this difficult situation? O I thought you'd never ask. Art!
This is Belgorod on day 1,422 of the SMO, in total blackout. Some 800,000 residents of the region are now without power, heat, light or water and with no prospects of getting these utilities fixed. Gladkov is now ordering citizens to abandon Belgorod and go to other oblasts for the duration, however long that may be. Given how hideously humiliating this declaration is, it must have been approved by Putinpot, probably done with gritted teeth. It's not just the drone strikes that have caused this; maintenance staff who would keep electrical plant running have all been sent off to become sunflower-fodder in Ukraine and the grid is now breaking down all by itself. Ooops. Dr. Smart - a title he has begun using of late - pointed out that the sheer scale of this event, as well as political acknowledgement, makes it land differently. The residents of Barad-Duh may need to get used to accommodating their internal refugees, which is not a sentence I ever expected to use. Art!
One of the definitions of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Meet General Sukhab Akhmedov, OC of Ruffian Naval Infantry, who was recently sacked for running up enormous troop losses in return for almost nil territorial advances, on the Dobropilya front. A bit of a turn around for him, as he was awarded the 'Hero Of Ruffia' in 2025. This is not his first sacking, he got the heave-ho in 2023, for similar disastrous results at Vuhledar. So he got sacked, then re-appointed, thanks to being the protege of another, higher officer, for which the orcses he got wiped out are truly thankful. It's not beyond the bounds of possibility for him to return to high command again, thanks to - patronage. I bet the orcses can hardly wait.
I DON'T NEED ANY ENCOURAGEMENT!
Conrad is known, above all things, for his love of books <looks at his seven bookcases> and once he gets his hot sweaty hands on a book it never leaves his domicile. Well, apart from military history duplicates that go to Col, and horror novels that go to Darling Daughter. Art!
Adverts for 'Abebooks' have been cropping up on Youtube incessantly, going on about how you can source antique books, vintage books, collectible books, comics, normal books, more books, even more books -
I DO NOT NEED PERSUADING!
For example, I've just finished reading 'John Dies At The End' and discovered that there are 2 sequels, the next one being 'This Book Is Full Of Spiiders' and rather than take a trip to Waterstones, which website would I go to? Answers in the Comments. Art!
Talking Of Which -
Conrad came across a Youtube channel yesteryon that put up an interesting thumbnail. Art!
More Gentle Shoeing
As you may have been able to faintly detect, Conrad is not a fan of the Flabby Fibbing Fraudster, and rarely misses an opportunity to mock him. Today is no different, except I'm posting a picture that does the opposite of flattering him. Fattering him is more like it. Art!
Ergh. He looks like a werehog and you can see how thin his hair is. The report is just as critical as I am, quoting his utterly dismal poll numbers and how 58% of those polled thought his second term already a failure. His immigration and economic policies have tanked, and voters are more worried about making ends meet than him trying to either invade or buy Greenland. O and about ending the war in Ukraine in 24 hours?
I Remember This One!
Another entry from the 'Museum Of Failure'. This one is about 'Concord', a computer game that I remember Ryan Kinel and The Critical Drinker panning when it was released in 2024. They were predictably irate over what they perceived as 'woke' character design, I seem to recall, and weren't very impressed with the overall quality of the game. Art!
MOX puts it rather more in perspective, stating that it took 8 YEARS to produce which may be the poster child definition of Sunk Cost Fallacy, by which time the gaming market was full of similar online games of longer pedigree that could be played for free, whereas Concord cost $40. At peak it had a mere 700 players gaming it, meaning it was pulled within a fortnight of launch. 700 out of a potential 200 million is not very good. In fact it was described as one of computer gaming's biggest ever flops, losing at least $200 million and possibly $400 million*.
Finally -
Another Biercism to finish with. I ought to tick these off as I copy them or risk repeating them. Whatever.
"Fraud: The life of commerce, the soul of religion, the bait of courtship and the basis of political power."
As true now as when written over a century ago.
Chin Chin!
* Note no tasteless jokes about Concorde.
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