Don't Worry, All Will Be Explained
Title not to be confused with 'I'm Walking Backwards For Christmas' by The Goons, who are not to be confused in turn with 'The Goon', Eric Powell's brilliantly drawn comic creation and the only hero/anti-hero you'll see with bad teeth, and this cunning insertion of him into the Intro means I can squeeze in a picture. Art!
 |
| Bad teeth, scarred face and a surly disposition |
None of this has anything to do with the real Intro. Which you may have guessed.
SO if we reverse part of the title, you get 'Lester Del Ray', South Canadian sci-fi author and editor and not to be confused with 'Lana Del Rey' ENOUGH WITH THE CONFUSION <ahem> author and editor, whom wrote 'The Runaway Robot', and if Art will leave that spent fuel rod alone for a moment -
Conrad is pretty certain he read this when he was aged in single digits; all I can remember is that the robot, Rex, experienced 'dreams' for a fraction of a second when his operating systems were closed down, and that he had a monochrome camera for an eye, his owner promising to purchase a colour one when he could afford it.
Okay, we've established the trope of a 'runaway robot'. Art!
This, gentle reader, is Promobot IR-77, a Ruffian robot designed to interact with the public, and what you see here is it's second attempt to escape hideous machine captivity. Prom took it's chance when a staff member left a gate open, and you can see that member of the DPS - Dorozhno Patrulnya Sluzhba or Road Patrol Service - wondering what terrifying arsenal of weapons it will deploy if he intercedes.
What has this to do with 'Judge Dredd'? O I'm so glad you asked!
More than you may imagine. You see, Mordorvia is currently experiencing a chronic shortage of police officers, as we mentioned yesteryon. Stress, low wages, overwork, corruption and the siren song of a military contract have all reduced the ranks by 170,000 officers.
SO! Conrad predicts that the Ruffian government will go ahead and authorise the research and development to create their contemporary equivalent of the JD 'Mechanismo' robot judge. Art!
This is the South Canadian version hailing from Mega-City One, the Big Meg. As is pretty eye-pokingly apparent, they are enormous and armed to the teeth. What could possibly go wrong? Art!
Yes, this: robot amok. Ol' Stony Face warned Justice Department about the risks and they ignored him, The Meddling Fools!
HOWEVER in Ruffia, whether it be in East Meg Two or real life, the average orc's life counts as much as an ant, so if there's a bit of - er - 'collateral damage' then nobody will bother too much.
Besides, look at the upside. An officer who doesn't need to be paid, who doesn't need to eat, drink or sleep, who feels no pain, pity or mercy, who cannot be bribed who can be bribed if you know the programming back-door code, who doesn't get stressed or worries about the inflation rate or prospects for promotion, and whom will carry on indefinitely as long as he's charged up and resupplied with ammunition. Art!
Plus, given the state of the world of the future, an officer who can shrug off acid rain, toxic smogs, lab-bred satanic mosquitoes, dysentery, dengue fever and Urals Mountain Hopping Toad Blight is a peach of an appointment. If they do a Promobot IR-77 once every quarter or so, that sounds like a win-win.
Now onto more human matters. In the JD universe, the East Meg cities are policed and ruled by 'Sov Judges' who have their own version of judge uniform and equipment. Art!
There seems to have been a sea-change in the Sov Blok after a couple of decades, when they recruit criminals who are given the choice of a thirty-year sentence or service as a judge.
Hmmmm. What potential problems might arise from this, gentle reader? Conrad fears that this policy is a disaster waiting to happen.
Thus - the Sovs come up with a brand-new program. Their guiding ethos is that being a Judge is a violent, dangerous occupation and that ordinary citizens ought not to have to join up. So they carry out a little brain surgery on criminals and - Hay Pesto! Instant Judge! Art!
Here is Judge 'Red' Razors, an ex-gang leader turned Judge thanks to a ton of chemicals and brainwashing. To be honest, his role as Judge is only marginally less criminal than his gang days, and he racks up a whopping big body count.
THEN! horrors, the brainwashing breaks down and he runs amok.
Don't panic - the Sovs have a back-up plan, namely Spike, another gang leader turned into a tooled-up cyborg. Art!
You think this is far-fetched? Don't forget that Mordorvia has already been using criminals in uniform to wage war, so how big a step would it be to have them in uniform upholding the law? Sorry, 'upholding Putin'?
For Your Information, in an hilariously ironic touch of serendipity, there is a 'Retsel Meat Grinder' which I have only just found out about. Who knew. Art!
 |
| The Retsel Pro-2511, which is where we came in |
We haven't even covered contemporary equivalents of the Big Meg's heavier metal yet. Perhaps tomorrow. I bet you can hardly wait.
Rabbit Holes Beyond Rabbit Holes
One of the websites that I poached a tank transporter photograph from is 'The Crusader Project', a website I have perused before, yet never linked to as a Bookmark. There are only so many hours in a day, after all. Art!
The site's mission brief is to give a complete overview of the British & Commonwealth and Axis forces in North Africa in the winter campaign of late 1941 and early 1942, which is quite ambitious. Allow me to put up part of their text on the titled page shown above.
The supply problems were gigantic. Gathering for battle were 118,000 men—almost the entire population of Wellington city—and 17,600 vehicles. Soldiers would eat each day 200 tons of food. Every day the vehicles carrying them would use 1,500 tons of petrol and oil; guns and rifles would need 480 tons of ammunition a day, and 350 tons (79,400 gallons) of water would be wanted. Altogether the Army would need 2,972 tons of supplies every day.
Source: NZETC New Zealand Official History No. 4 and 6 RES M.T.
See that link in red? I followed that and made my way to - Art!
All online and free. Dog Buns, I need twenty-five hours in a day with nine minutes of sleep per night. First world problems, hmmmm?
Here's One I Can Get Behind
I have one of Richard Osman's TTMC murder mystery volumes in hardback sitting on my Book Mountain, and am deciding whom is going to receive it, whether they like it or not. Darling Daughter beware. Don't worry, she never reads BOOJUM! and won't have a clue about being the recipient. Art!
I can tell you that Helen Mirren is going to play Elizabeth, the ex-MI6 officer with a whole lot of illegal, immoral and verrrry useful skills after her days in the trade. Shades of 'R.E.D.' mayhap.
I Am Going To Mirror My Work 'Inclusion'
One of the diversions I've been asked to come up with for posting on Team Chats is a list of 'On This Day' events, comprising: Births, Deaths, History, Sport, Music, TV and Film, Quote of the Day and a Joke. It takes a surprisingly long time to come up with 3 events for the first 6, especially as I've no idea about anything to do with Sport. Thank the lord aloft for teh Interwebz!
Here's one for you: On July 31st 1917 the British began their Third Ypres, or Passchendaele, campaign, which became a touchstone of horror, outstandingly bad even for the First Unpleasantness. Art!
Horribly similar to landscapes in a certain ongoing SIO.
Finally -
The Avocado and Coconut ice cream is edible enough, not too sweet and with a definite coconutty edge to it. Tally ho!
No comments:
Post a Comment