Data Protection

I Can Tell What You're Thinking

Conrad has been doing a bit of deep diving into that little-known sci-fi series 'Starry Trekkers' of late, because if it's available on Netflix then why not avail myself of the opportunity to re-watch and split plot-holes like hairs, as pedants love to.  Art!

State of the art CGI for 1996

     We are upping things a notch, since today's Intro concerns an episode of "The Nexus Gerontology" or similar, entitled 'The Game'.  This episode reveals how shockingly sloppy the security standards of the 'Enterprise' have become, allowing a sinister mind-controlling game to promulgate aboard the starship.  I tell you, Jim Kirk would have stomped it into plastic fragments on sight.

     ANYWAY the plot is resolved by what you might call an example of deus ex machina, literally, because who (or what) saves the day but Data, the android, whose status as either an intelligent sentient or slightly-evolved ex-bot is a staple trope of the series.  Art!

Data the flasher NO SNIGGERING AT THE BACK!

     So, once again Data comes through and saves the day (with a major assist from Wesley Crusher), proving that the Enterprise comes with built-in Data protection*.

     You will have guessed by now that this is nothing to do with the actual Intro, and is just a wicked way to click-bait visitors into viewing BOOJUM!  Yes we are horrid like that.

     This is about a piece of stupidity so utterly inept that one suspects either alcohol or crystal meth or both were involved.  Art!

      So, the Inter-rim Partnered Adult, hereafter IPA, had been dating Woman Having Overly Protective Papa, hereafter WHOPPA, whom was in her thirties, and her father was in his sixties.  WHOPPA's father then carried out a background check on IPA, with a credit, financial and criminal check, without the latter's permission or agreement.

     GIANT RED FLAG!  GIANT RED FLAG!

     Well, it all went for nought, as IPA broke up with WHOPPA after a few months.

     Two months later the ugly truth emerged.  WHOPPA's dad, Woefully Idiotic Short-sighted Parent, hereafter WISP, had access to background checking tools thanks to his hiring position at his place of work.  He had ticked the 'Consent' box to carry out the investigation despite not having it, and Surprise! the Internal Audit people had flagged this and were giving him a hard time.  Art!

"Is this a flagger I see before me?"

     Conrad is not surprised.  In my current occupation one of the first things we were warned of in training was NEVER EVER look up your own National Insurance Number**, because it will instantly trip a warning flag, you will be called into a disciplinary that very same day and fired.  Art!

I think the AI Art Generator is being pseudy and arty

     My team leader, Alex, a notably laid-back hands-off manager who knows how to let staff get on with their job, had to sit in judgement in just such a case a few weeks ago however reluctantly.  If you pick the NINO of another person - say to nosy and see what juicy gossip can be extrapolated from the profile of a celebrity - the warning flag may take a day or two but again - fired.

     Back to WISP and WHOPPA.  The latter contacted IPA in a frantic panic, wanting him to sign a back-dated consent form and e-mail it to the Internal Audit team, which he refused to do.  Cue WHOPPA going completely off the rails that he refused to take part in a fraud to mitigate a data protection breach.  IPA probably risked prosecution if he did so, and was well within his rights to reject her demand.  Art!

     The final shovelful of soil on the coffin as it lay in the grave was the Internal Audit investigator calling IPA to find out what had transpired.  He merely told the truth, which cost WISP his job.  IPA wanted to know if he'd been a bottomhole.  

     Absolutely not! was the consensus.  WISP did it all to himself, and put his employer at risk of severe sanctions.  Conrad is unfamiliar with the legal background of data protection breaches in South Canada, but I am verrrry familiar with them in Perfidious Albion, thanks to 10 years working corporate HR.  

     Here, if a business is found guilty of GDPR breach, they can be fined a percentage of their overall annual profits, which in the case of an employer like O say Morrison's, might be £10 million.  Art!

     Morrison's spent 7 years fighting and appealing a GDPR breach by an employee in 2013, before the original liability ruling was overturned, and WISP's employers - you may be ahead of me here - didn't want to go to that kind of expense and stress.

     Like I said, booze and meth.

Double Down?  Get Out Of Town!

This particular tale of rampant idiocy was narrated by a shop manager who ran a business entity called 'Funcoland', which I'd never heard of.  Art!

     Video games shop, which was bought out in 2000.  Well, Funco Ex Manager, hereafter FEM, and his assistant manager, had created a store that was one of the best performers on the East Coast.  Of South Canada, not Hungary, just so we're clear.  One of their Christmas temps had been caught on film stealing, so a security representative was sent down to investigate.

     Once the thief had confessed and been sent on their way, both FEM and the assistant manager were promptly - 

     Fired by the security representative, with no explanation, and warned they would be trespassed if they returned to the store, to close up at end of business and then leave their keys behind.  Art!

     Both ex-employees were FURIOUSLY angry, and rather than continuing for the rest of the day and then meekly closing the store, they unlocked all the cabinets, wrote up a sign about what had happened, and then left with the doors wide open.

     Funcoland sat in a very busy mall.  Within an hour the whole store had been stripped bare.  Even the shelves were taken.  Bargain!

     Two weeks later corporate called FEM, wanting him to come back at a much higher rate of pay.  Having found out what happened, no staff from any other stores would transfer over, as a gesture of solidarity.  However, they refused to inform FEM why both managers had been fired, so he told them to go propel discrete geological accretions with the end of their leg.  Art!

     Truth will out.  FEM discovered that the bafune security rep had mistaken their stellar-performing store with another in the same city experiencing a chronic theft problem, hence the firing, which was intended to resolve the thieving.  When this was pointed out he refused to change his mind, and was -

     Fired 2 days later.

DOG BUNS!  They're Doing It Again

In a display of utter hypocrisy, Conrad is cavilling against an item that came up on his news feed, because it tries to get viewers to click on it's baity title.  Art!

     They try to tempt people with 'Stranger Things' and make sure there's nothing to give away what the film, or television series, or boxed DVD set actually is.  Let me dig around a little - 

"The eight-episode run is based on Stephen King's 2019 novel of the same name"

     We're narrowing the field a bit.  Art!

     

Gotcha!

     

     Surprise! I have read it, and it gives a fascinating insight into modern railway freight operations, which are a crucial element of the plot, and Ol' Steve certainly did his research.

Success!

Your Modest Artisan had been searching for his hand-written ice cream recipes, which seemed to have gone missing, either binned or put in a place so safe I couldn't find them.

     Until last night, when I was sorting out a pile of newspapers, notepads, magazines, A4 longhand notes and - surprise! there they were.  Art!

     I typed up one of these recipes for our workplace 'Initiative & Wellbeing' forum, and tonight I ventured to make Strawberry Ice Cream, which I've not done for possibly five years.  Art!

     The finished product.  It took a whole pack of puréed and sieved strawberries, and a mixture of sugar and Candarel.  Not to mention the Extra Thick Double Cream, which ought to have been plain Single Cream - I thinned it out with a bit of milk.  The custard began to curdle whilst I was making a Strawberry Yoghurt smoothy with a tin of strawberries Best Before August 2017, so I hastily whipped it off the hob and ran it through the food processor.

     It seems to be okay after giving it a good 35 minutes whisking in the Kenwood Gelato, and the teaspoon taste test confirmed it tastes fine.  Hopefully the tablespoons of vodka will prevent it from turning into a giant frozen brick.

Finally -

Another three weeks of sobriety to go, whoopee.

*  Ouch.

**  Not a problem for Conrad as I cannot remember what it is.