Which You Can Probably Guesslate As -
"See Italy and vie!" because we're not just heading down a rabbit-hole here, we're venturing into the whole Dog Buns! warren. I did warn you yesteryon that an Intro to do with the Italian Front of the First Unpleasantness was going to be forthcoming, and here it is. The thing is, the source material keeps expanding the more I dig, as will become apparent later on, and I've NO IDEA how long this Intro will end up being. It could constitute the whole of today's blog, which may not be what you signed up for even if you're not paying for it. Art!
That red line is the front between the Italian and Austro-Hungarian (hereafter just 'Austrian' out of sheer laziness) armies, where things had settled down after the disastrous Italian defeat at the Battle of Caporetto. The Italians were holding the line of the Piave River, a formidable water barrier impossible to ford and difficult to bridge. Further west the front line traversed hill and then mountain terrain. Art!
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| A less busy version |
Mountain warfare is no fun. Mountains, you see, tend to be made of solid unyielding rock, which is the very devil to excavate when you want trenches or dugouts or bunkers. Power tools and explosives are the first resort, rather hazardous work if the enemy are feeling spry and vindictive.
As an illustration, I am going to enlist Bruno Pisani, he of the Youtube channel of the same name, so he can demonstrate the changing landscape as you get higher and higher. Art!
This is the valley bottom, where a modest river trickles downstream - in summer. In spring or autumn when there are storms in the mountains, or the snow thaws, it can become a lethal raging torrent. Note all the extensive greenery and forest. Art!
Into the foothills and you can see that the forest cover is thinning out, with more stunted trees than at valley bottom. Art!
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| "Winter on the Asiago Plateau" |
This is the Asiago, not the Dolomites where Bruno is hiking, but it gives you an idea of what the lower mountain slopes look like in winter: very cold and damp. Bruno, as a sensible chap, wouldn't be out on the mountains in conditions like this - too dangerous! Art?
Here he is, just before changing into his winter gear, and the first snows are lying on the ground. Which is merely barren rock, not a bit of green to be seen as he's way above the treeline. The most you might get here is a few lichens.
Now, imagine being told that you need to excavate a position on this mountainside in order to defy and deny the Austrians. Not an easy job, is it?
Here is where Perfidious Albion and the M8s come in, because their politicians decided to help the Romans by sending a scad of divisions to halt their retreat and prop up their front lines. The British sent 5 divisions, the French 4, quite a handy total - bar the fact that the British divisions had been involved in the attritional slogging-match at Passchendaele and were thus under-strength. Art!
The divisions sent were the 5th, 7th, 23rd, 41st and 48th. The 5th and 41st were sent back to the Western front by Easter of 1918; the others stayed, and Lo! who has two of their divisional histories but Your Humble Scribe?
Now we finally get to the meat of the matter, which is the clash of military culture between the British and their Italian counterparts, because these were two forces with different experiences. Italy had refused to join the Central Powers in their offensive warfare in the summer of 1914, being beguiled into joining the Triple Entente by being promised as much Austrian territory as they could conquer - it's always easy to be generous with other people's lands, isn't it? Their collective strategic, operational and tactical posture had been relentlessly offensive. Art!
The Piave River with concrete western embankment
The Italians defensive practice was the outdated one from 1914, where as many men and machine guns as possible were stuffed into the front line trenches, meaning invariable heavy casualties in any bombardment by the Austrians. They had very few support units or reserves, again bad practice. General Plumer, the dumpy little moustachioed British general in charge of the expeditionary force, who utterly belied his Blimpish look, did not try to lecture the Romans, but sought to persuade or convince by example. Art!
"Plum" looking glum
Thus the Romans were introduced to the concept and practice of defence in depth, where machine gun positions were camouflaged and discreet, where there were communication trenches, where the Stokes Guns were kept well distant, and strongpoints were constructed with all-round fields of fire.
One reason for having a picture of the Piave above is because long stretches of the bank were concreted in, to deal with spate conditions, which the British immediately took an interfering interest in, thanks to it being excellent protection. This was severely and instantly dismissed by the Italians, who forbade any mucking about with their flood defences. Art!
That there is a railway bridge over the Piave when the water level is low and you can see the pilings the piers are built upon. Art!
The same bridge when the Piave is having a bit of a strop. "No mess with embankment" sound policy.
Right! As suspected I'm going to have to call a halt here, or this whole BOOJUM! will consist only of First Unpleasantness narratives.
"The War Illustrated Edition 196 22nd December 1944"
I'm picking this picture because I strongly suspect I know the background information deliberately left out by the editor. Art!
The text mentions that the top picture is near Geilenkirchen, and that the troops are South Canadians, supported by British tanks. Conrad is almost certain that the tanks are from the Sherwood Rangers Yeomanry, one of the most experienced and skilled armoured regiments in the entire British army. If so, then the GIs are from their 85th Infantry Division, which was fighting for the first time. General 'Jorrocks' Horrocks, Corps Commander of the SRY, told their OC, Colonel Christopherson, that he was pairing the Sherwoods with these green US troops because of their looooong experience.
Note the Dingo Scout Car in the background. Art!
As further evidence, Art!
Stuart was a young subaltern in the SRY. Doesn't that cover look familiar ...
O and the photograph at bottom shows Shermans being used as artillery pieces, which is not what they were designed for, though that's a bit moot if 20,000 inappropriately used shells are deluging you.
Our Journey With Berni
Because, frankly, we've had enough of the First and Second Unpleasantnesses, so it's time for - well, more individual horror, if you will. Art!
Thank you for the technical explanation, Berni. Conrad is beginning to wonder if the FPG cards had an actual background story or explanation about the artwork, or was it merely left to the purchaser's imagination?
"I warned you, sis, if you mohawked my mullet in my sleep again I'd murder you!"
Good? Bad? Only you can decide!
Ah Yes - About That, Liam
One of the most bankable stars of recent times has been Liam Neeson, who has proven to be a remarkably versatile actor, starring in nonsense like "The A Team", as well as "Schindler's List" and crash-bang-wallop actioners like "Taken" - only bother watching the first one. Art!
Yes, you may retire, Liam, and move out of the spotlight.
However - yes that word again! - things are not quite so simple on Twitter. If I can prod Art into action with this triple-pronged Mughal punching-knife -
Yes, this is a parody account. Yes, countless idiots on the internet mistake him for the real Liam Neeson, and are usually South Canadian MAGA cultists, which says a lot about their edumakashun system if basic English comprehension is lacking. Sometimes Conrad is glad we cast off the treacherous ingrates, although no culture that invented the Twinky can ever be all bad.
Finally -
Conrad's been a busy bee, this blog has been written as of Thursday evening for publication on Saturday, kind of the opposite of TWI's practice.
Pip pip!
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