I Can See A Little Elucidation Is In Order
After all, ambiguity is our stock-in-trade, and I wouldn't want either yourselves or the Facebook twod mods to begin reading under the misapprehension that this blog is about the weight-challenged amongst us dissolving into puddles of glop.
Of course - obviously! - having said that, I now have to list examples of people who melt, as immortalised in cinema. Probably the most famous, or infamous, is "The Incredible Melting Man", about an astronaut who progressively falls apart. Art!
Note rubbish prosthetic (empty)-eye socket
Okay, okay, he's not fat. Sheesh, do you understand what a niche melting-human horror films are? Art!
Conrad has actually seen this one, and it's no better or worse than you'd expect. It concerns a hokey liquor-store owner who retails a toxic brew to homeless winos and bums, which causes them to melt.
ANYWAY the FMAC was a genuine administrative body, formed early in the Second Unpleasantness by the wartime government of Perfidious Albion in order to regulate the - you may be ahead of me here - melting of fats. I had never heard of this entity before, and don't pretend you had, either. Art!
Taken from the pages of Janet MacDonald's rigorous analysis of British logistics in the Second Unpleasantness, and the chapter "Food". Because This Sceptred Isle is an island, wartime efficiency focussed on getting the maximum edible potential from all food sources, thus cutting down on the need to import food. What happens when you cook meats? why you get rendered fats from them. Today, in our time of plenty, these would just be chucked in the bin as a rather horrid waste product and definitely not poured down the sink to congeal and block the pipes.
We now come to 'Hansard'. If you do not hail from the shores of this, The Allotment Of Eden, you poor benighted soul, then this word may be new to you. Not to be confused with 'Mansard', which is a type of roof. Art!
My 'Collins Concise Dictionary' defines Hansard as: "The official verbatim report of the proceedings of the British Parliament" named after one Mister Hansard, who recorded these proceedings up until 1889. Other enlightened Commonwealth democracies around the world have their own version of Hansard, God Save Kingie.
Why do I raise this domestic method of recording? O I thought you'd never ask! Because, gentle reader, it is possible to access Hansard online, as I discovered yesteryon. Art!
Thus here we are, only 7 months into the Second Unpleasantness, and the Fat Melters' Advisory Committee is already a twinkle in a parliamentarians eye. Art!
For Your Information, 'Major Milner' is James Milner, a Labour MP from Leeds, who had served in the First Unpleasantness, rising to the rank of Major, which is the lowest rank you can attain and still use after leaving the army. Art!
His peacetime profession was a solicitor, so he was very well-suited to quiz and question politicians in Parliament.
'W. S. Morrison' is William Morrison, another legal graduate who served as a judge before going into politics. He was the Minister For Food in 1940, which is why he's answering questions about fat melters'.
There was a follow-up question this debate in September of 1940, when the Fat Melters' Advisory Committees had actually come into existence. Art!
All raw fats of animals killed in Government slaughter-houses are distributed by the Chairman of the local Fat Melters Advisory Committees to melters licensed by the Ministry. No monopoly exists outside the Ministry's control.
There you go, a fascinating insight into British parliamentary procedure during wartime and proof that fat cats were not, in fact, living off the fat of the land. Art!
Need to refer this to the White Fish And Shelled Seafood Advisory Committee, mate
Wow, that's a lot of text. Bring on more pictures!
"The War Illustrated Edition 196 22nd December 1944"
Yes, onto a new edition. This one was published a week after the huge Teuton offensive in the Ardennes had begun, so there was never any question about such a theme appearing on or in this edition. Art!
This is one of Chiang Kai-Shek's guerilla soldiers, one of the Nationalists who had been fighting the Japanese since 1937, when they mounted their invasion of China. The only reference I've seen or heard about this precursor to the Second Unpleasantness is in "1941", where Dan Ackroyd's character postulates that the was had been running since 1937, not merely since Pearl Harbour*.
They leave out the fact that CKS's army was fantastically corrupt and inefficient, avoided fighting the Japanese where possible, and focussed it's efforts on waging war against the Communists. Truth the first casualty of war!
A MOP And Bucket
You know Conrad, he's a big fan of anything that goes BANG, and the bigger the BANG the bigger the fan.
Thus I was interested to read about the South Canadians paying a visit to the Houthis, the Yemeni rebel party in their country's civil war, and saying a Hearty Hello! Art?
A.k.a. the "Massive Ordnance Penetrator" or MOP. These puppies can 'dig' 200 feet before exploding, meaning that anything buried less deeply than that is toast. Art!
Heck, these things are precision-guided, if you wanted to make sure the B2 would drop it's second MOP into the hole the first one made. 28 tons of high-speed high-explosive means that what remains afterwards can be disposed of in a single galvanised bucket.
Our Journey With Berni
After being stymied by #21, I have once again ensured that #23 does exist as a full image, so - Art!
Would it be speciesist of me to say that I don't think this relationship has any long-term prospects to it? I mean, one would drown in the ocean and the other would asphyxiate on dry land. Nor can you snog wearing scuba gear.
I Need A Word With You, Stan
Which would entail engaging the services of a psychic, as Mr. Stanley Kubrick is long dead. If contacted, he'd probably be fearsomely angry at being disturbed whilst storyboarding "The Napoleonic Wars On Sea And Land In All Countries".
To what am I referring? O I thought you'd never ask! Art?
For all that "Doctor Strangelove" reproduced a B-52's interior in worryingly unofficial detail, and the cinema verite accuracy of the combat at Burpelson Air Force Base, Stan got the thermonuclear weapons WRONG. This is actually a re-purposed 'Thor' Intermediate Range Ballistic Missile, not a bomb of any description. If I can be bothered I may go look up what ought to have been used.
Finally -
Finished the 'Megazine' mountain, now it's time to haul them back up the ladder to the Comic Cavern. How delightful.
* Note correct spelling
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