To Coin A Phrase -

"We Finally Did It!"

Not that this quote is especially helpful or hopeful, coming as it does from Charlton Heston at the end of "Planet Of The Apes", when SPOILER ALERT! he finally understands that no, he's not on a far-distant alien planet (which is still suspiciously akin to Earth) but back on the Old Blue Dot itself.  Which is a bit 

shop-worn, to be honest.  Art!

     It's a brilliant bit of film-making, being economical yet dramatic, because how iconic is the Statue Of Liberty?  Yet here it is, on a forgotten shoreline rather than Liberty Island, clearly having been subject to massive trauma.  This reminds one that plenty of films in the Seventies did not have a happy ending, as studios were willing to risk sending people home feeling disappointed, rather than pull a fairy-tale ending out of the editing bin.

     ANYWAY of course - obviously! - none of that is to do with the rest of the Intro, except where it is.  Art!

     That's what the AI Image Generator comes up with when the text input is "BOOJUM!" and the trope is 'Cyberpunk'.  You see, I have mentioned the blog once or twice in team meetings, without going into details of what it contains ('tanks, atom bombs and zombies' might not draw people in) and today people asked for a link, which I put up on our Chat.

     I know what you're thinking, only because I'm clever NOT because of the DARPA Telepathy Helmet which I keep telling you I returned ages ago, and DARPA never even knew about my - er - 'long-term borrow' 'long-term borrow without asking' 'theft'.

     The blog is eminently SFW with no swearing as its recognised in the real world.  "Dog Buns!" and "fnorping"  have no offensive value.  Nor do we feature any undraped female forms.  I think we had a statue showing it's bottom once, but that's Art and we could get away with it.  Art!

     There you go, a statue's bottom.

     So, my title for today implies that people have now done it and read the blog.  At least one person has, and more may read these lines after posting.  Or not.

     Well, since we're enthusing over BOOJUM! or at least I am, let us have a dekko at the Traffic figures, since these are the inspiration for Your Humble Scribe to keep going.  Art!

     These are credible and probable numbers, unlike May when the tracking algorithm suffered from machine dementia and had risible totals.  I think what's boosted viewing figures is posting a lot on Twitter, when I used to only ever pimp the blog.  Now I have more Followers there, and Follow more people.

For Your Information:  Just to re-iterate, the editorial team here use hilarious nicknames for countries across the globe HILARIOUS I TELL YOU SO LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH.  To wit:

GREAT BRITAIN = Perfidious Albion OR This Sceptred Isle.  Because we are.

SOUTH CANADA = the USA.  I refuses to admit that their Revolution happened.

BRITISH AMERICA/CANUCKISTAN = Canada, because Empire Loyalists emigrated there in 1776.

RUFFIANS/SINISTERS = The Russians/Soviets before them.  Because it's true.

NORKS (said with a sneer) = North Koreans.

NORKS (said with a smile) = Norwegians

TEUTONS = The Germans

ROMANS = The Italians.  Unless actually Romans

THE POPULOUS DICTATORSHIP = Commie China.  Because it's true.

SORKS = South Koreans (smile implicit)

M8s = France and the French.

     I think that's enough trumpet-blowing for one Intro.  See you on the other side*!

Time Travelling

Appropriate given today's title.  I've been reading "Judge Dredd: The Case Files #44" and came across a time-travel story that didn't make a whole lot of sense, given that it's prequel needed to be read, and they didn't print that.  There was an interesting panel that I took a picture of.  Art!

     Apologies, it could have been flatter.  What they're doing here is going back in time to various events in Dredd's past.  Do you want an explanation?  Because you're going to get an explanation!  Art!

     This was East-Meg One's attempt to partially-destroy Mega-City One and carry out a military occupation of the remaining population.  Resistance was fierce, with the Judges and Citi-Def units fighting back.  The weapon you see Dredd holding is a 'Stubb Gun', that being an insanely high-powered laser, which will cut through anything for as far as you can see.  The Big Meg's resistance organisation churned them out as fast as possible.  Art!

     This story was about five years into "2000AD"'s life.  The next picture is set during the "Cursed Earth" saga, about two years into the comic. Note the differences in artwork, especially the helmet.  Here Dredd is fending off the rusty robot remnants of President' Booths army, which are motivated by hatred, bigotry and 64-bit programming.  Art!

     General Blood 'n' Nuts himself, commander of the robot hordes.  No, I don't know why he has a pipe.  In the background you can see the 'Death Belt' of orbital debris that explains why the serum for Mega-City Two cannot be airlifted in, and has to be taken there by land.  

     And that third panel is from the early months of the comic, where 'Call Me Kenneth' leads a robot uprising against the city's Hom. Saps.  Art!

     Conrad is unsure about that pink paint scheme.  The Pink Panther and Penelope Pitstop both rock it; killer robots not so much.  When originally published it was all monochrome and Ol' Ken looked a lot more dangerous than something from "Ru Paul's Drag Race" or "Drag Me To Dinner". 

Another Ever-Decreasing Circle

As we have bored you before in the past with the shape of Modern-day Mordor's demographic 'pyramid', let us do so again.  For Your Information, the birth-rate in the land of Barad-Duh has been falling consistently for decades, ever since the Sinister Union fell apart.  Art!

     This is the projected population by 2050, and this is an optimistic assessment, at 135 million total population.  Others have estimated it may drop as low as 105 million.  If you look at the shape of the graph above, there are increasingly fewer young people entering the labour market (and army), which is the kind of maths that keeps Putinpot from sleeping at nights.  You can't be a Tsar if you don't have the serfs.

     So, the obvious solution is not to improve living conditions, it would seem, because that would require spending money on the population and their civic amenities instead of it being either embezzled or blown up in Ukraine.  No, the Ruffian solution is to make being child-free an offence.  Punish people!  PUNISH PUNISH PUNISH! because yes, that'll make them want to have families.  Art!

Ruffian chief minister for demography

     You couldn't make it up and if you did people would accuse you of being unrealistic.

"City In The Sky"

Things are down but in an up kind of way, if you see what I mean.

‘Prof!  You did it!  Brought the Branson Mansion back to Earth, hardly any casualties, destroyed the evil aliens, got the survivors help from the Ozzers.’

     A silent frown grew on the Timelord’s brow.  Casualties.  Yes.  He knew there’d be deaths.  His various scenarios run non-stop every five minutes for two days predicted between fifty and a thousand dead.  Leaning back into the TARDIS interior he used his umbrella handle to drag an unwary Ace inside, too.

     ‘Many dead?’ he asked, causing the doors to rapidly close.

     ‘Almost fifty,’ replied Ace, casting a wondering glance at the narrowing vista beyond the closing doors.  ‘What - ’

     ‘Ah!’ gasped the Doctor, stung to the quick.  Only fifty!  He leant forward over the control panels, seeking distraction in twiddling dials and levers and meters and contacts.

     ‘We’re not staying to help?’ asked Ace, a genuine puzzlement in her voice.  The Doctor straightened and faced her, looking startled himself.

     ‘Say what, Ace?  I rather think not!’ and he muttered a long quotation from Plato before looking up again.  ‘Ace, Ace – I may turn up to administer first aid on a large scale, slay the monster, help with the harvest – but I don’t seek to impose my ideas.  These people need to arrive at their own solutions, not something decided by an outside agency.’

     Do Not Interfere.  Well, not beyond the minimum.  Well, okay, perhaps quite a lot but only if justified.  Well .....

Oooh, The Claws Come Out!

For a little background, Matt Gaetz is the senator who got Kevin McCarthy expelled from his position as Speaker Of The House.  It was Kev's own fault, he'd been so desperate to get his hands on the job he made lots of silly compromises, including being voted out of office by a single person.  Art!

     This is because Gaetz is dirtier than the sole-scrapings of abattoir boots left in a locker for 6 months, and he didn't appreciate McCarthy geeing-up the Ethics Committee into an investigation. 

     He may live to regret this.  McCarthy is an old-school Republican who is still firm friends of lots of other old-school Republicans; he has reach and influence, and all Matty The Tatty has is a rich dad and a few nutjob fringe elements.  You cannot count Marjorie Taylor Greene as an asset as she is ten pounds of excrement and stupid in a five pound sack.  McCarthy was also a money-making machine for the party, whereas Eddie Munster merely makes messes.

     Bring on the wheelie-bins of popcorn!

*  Public Service Broadcasting reference for you there