I Am Going To Pretend I Didn't Hear That
Besides which, if BOOJUM! ever did sport a bust, you can better believe it would be the classical sculpture version of same. Art!
The tusks that clashed in mighty brawls
Of mastodons, are billiard balls.
The sword of Charlemagne the Just
Is ferric oxide, known as rust.
The grizzly bear whose potent hug
Was feared by all, is now a rug.
Great Caesar’s bust is on my shelf,
And I don’t feel so well myself.
It just popped into my head, Your Honour.
This, of course - obviously! - is nothing to do with today's Intro, where I would like to re-acquaint you with that concept known as the "Bus Factor". Put succinctly, this states that a job becomes more vulnerable to outside forces as the number of people able to do it decreases. A BF of 15 means that there are 14 replacements able to stand in if the prime worker is - hit by a bus. I know, I know, it's not very empathic, is it? and they could have been less extreme such as having a bad cough and a sore throat. On the other hand, a BF of 3 is getting risky, because one might be on leave, another off on training and it's poor old Jeff who gets hit by the 409 outside Oldham Hospital. At least they didn't have to take him very far. Art!
This Intro is as much about Bus Factor as it is about manglement. Unusually, it's a story set in This Sceptred Isle, as 99% of these tales are from South Canada. Our story's background was established by Original Poster, who was an engineer, working at what he called a somewhat 'janky' production company, where he loathed the Bottomhole Boss with a passion.
For all that, the company landed a series of large orders, so BB ordered OP to set up a production line, which would be staffed by a new hire.
This is where the Bus Factor comes into play.
Nobody shadowed OP, nobody watched how the new line operated, in fact nobody but OP knew how it worked. It was taken for granted - usually the most dangerous type of taken there is - that OP would train the new hire. Art!
So, he gleefully informs OP that he's been demoted, and will be the person manning the new production line, for a cut in salary of £9,000. Because there's a 3-day deadline to meet an order worth £1,000,000 coming up.
OP, equally gleefully, informs BB that tomorrow will be his last day if he's going to get done-over like this.
BUS FACTOR ARRIVES AT 190 M.P.H.
Art!
In a state of mild panic, BB orders OP to draw up comprehensive, detailed, practical manuals on how to run the new line.
This is where OP gets a malicious revenge. Using his work laptop, he creates folders that have stolid engineering names, of considerable size, to do with running or troubleshooting the new production line.
When he came in next morning to hand over, his work laptop had mysteriously migrated to the desk of BB, who could be seen in his office sporting a face empurpled with rage.
All the folders with those impressive-sounding technical titles actually contained were surprised pikachu faces, plus 'Bubbles' from "Trailer Park Boys" whom Conrad had never heard of. Art!
BUS FACTOR DEPARTS STAGE LEFT SMIRKING
Despite BB putting in 12-hour days - an impressive feat for a manager who always arrived late - his company missed the deadline, and the customer was very, very angry. The story ends here, so allow me to elucidate a bit more. Missing a production deadline like that will incur stiff financial penalties, because the product seems to have been time-critical for the client. If your order of 50,000 Scunge Bobblers doesn't arrive on time, you can't Bobble the Scunge. Depending on how late the delivery was, there might have been little to no profit on the entire order. And, needless to say, Bottomhole Boss will never get that time back again*.
You What?
This is a strange coincidence. We have only just finished serialising "City In The Sky", about an orbital habitat housing over twelve thousand people, nicknamed "Arc One" as an abbreviation for "Arcology One".
What have I just stumbled across in the news feeds? Art!
I will have to see if it gets the Degsy seal of approval. It's about a colony ship en route to the Proxima Centauri system, one hundred years into the future.
One bit of the description did give me pause for thought.
as a nostalgic throwback to brighter times when vintage sci-fi TV shows like "Battlestar Galactica," "Andromeda" and "Farscape" thrived.
I don't know about calling these 'vintage'. Or am I a dinosaur amongst fossils once again? Mind you, I can't comment on "Andromeda" as I never fancied it at all.
They Cannot Stay Away!
You know who I mean. "The Daily Beast", who are now getting sweaty armpits about my bank card details being changed, ho ho ho!
They simply cannot manage to be a decent republican media site and instead sit around with their tongues hanging out, slobbering over our British monarchy. Art!
STAND UP FOR QUEENIE!
Honestly, July 4th was only three weeks ago. Whatever would George Washington think? Really, if they just admitted that they desperately missed the sheer class of being British and wanted to re-join the Commonwealth, we might give it a bit of consideration.
Deploy More Roy!
That would be Roy "The Boss" Cross, Airfix resident artist and buffer-up of boring boxes. Here's a picture with legs behind it. Art!
This is a Blenheim Mark IV, which Conrad does have a soft spot for, even if it was practically obsolete when the Second Unpleasantness broke out. If all you have are lemons, you can't make sausage stew. Though you can slice them up and put them in the teapot every now and then, for a bit of a difference. Or dice them with limes and infuse in tonic water - which reminds me I have a bottle of same in the ki
ANYWAY let's have a look at the box art itself. Art!
Roy's depiction here is of an actual aircraft in an actual battle. What you see here are Free French bombers - Art!
The Cross Of Lorraine
This is during the British (and Commonwealth and Free French and Uncle Tom Cobley and all) invasion of Vichy Syria, which deserves a blog all to itself. These bombers are from Group IV F, as the British tended to give the FF kit that was a bit - er - outdated. They still performed prodigies of valour with them, mind, although switching to South Canadian kit later in the war must have been a relief.
If You're A Big Fan Of Pumpkinhead, Look Away
Donald Judas Trump, whom we mock as the Flabby Farting Felon, is noted for being a racist bigot. Nor is that his only flaw - well, dining exclusively on MacDonalds might be considered a facet, not a flaw - for he is also shockingly misogynistic, which you would probably have to explain to him as "Treat girls bad".
It can only have melted his pan, as they say in Northern Ireland, that in the criminal cases against him - Art!
Wellllllll guess what happened at the weekend. Yup. Art!
That sweepstake on whether he'll manage make it to November just got more interesting.
Finally -
Better go dice that lemon and lime.
* Tee hee!
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