Older But Golder

 If "Golder" Isn't An Actual Word

Then I want a royalty if it ever turns up in the dictionaries of the world.  We can negotiate, I won't specify a flat rate or a percentage, nor which currency.  Except for the ruble, that's the equivalent of a financial zombie.

     ANYWAY! where were we?  Art!     

Tricia Hlfer being the jezebel of the piece

     Yes, we are looking at the reboot of "Battlestar Galactica", which is one of the rare occasions that a reboot or remake is better than the original.  Trust me on this, I've seen episodes of the original and they were a splendid cure for insomnia.  Stop ogling, she's a baddie.  The reboot took a gritty, realistic look at what a human-AI war would look like, where the Cylons had infiltrated Hom. Sap. to the extent that it wasn't clear who was human and who wasn't.  I TOLD YOU SHE'S A BADDIE!  Almost the only MacGuffin present in the BG universe that we lack today was fusion power, alongside 'Lidar' and an ability to short-circuit the continuum on the five or six parsec lev SORRY! - the ability to make jumps beyond normal space-time across distance.  Art!

Any excuse.  Really, any excuse.

     You may not be aware, but in the rebooted BG, the ship itself is a museum piece, literally; it is preserved in order to educate Caprican society in the ways of their ancestors and their wars against the machine intelligence of the Cylons.  It has not been updated, renovated, retro-fitted or otherwise changed from it's original configuration.

     Is this important?  Duh, yes, or we'd not be talking about it!  Art?

 

     The thing is, when the Cylons attack, they have already seeded the software of all the Caprican ships with a kill-switch code, which turns them into giant floating defenceless targets.  See above for details.  Geee, that Baltar, what a card.

      Except for one ship, that being a ante-diluvian dinosaur called "Battlestar Galactica".  The electro-mechanical systems aboard the BG are so old that there is no way the Cylons can affect them, nor the Colonial Viper fighter craft that she deploys.  

     Ho ho ho! I hear you chorus.  How unrealistic is that!

     Chortle on, sunshine.  Art!

     What you're looking at here is a subterranean bunker in the South Canadian mid-West, where the Command Capsule crew are carrying out routine operations with a 8" floppy disk.  Yes, a floppy disk.  This picture is no longer accurate as they went over to SD cards in 2020.  Why use an artefact so old and decrepit?  O I thought you'd never ask! Art!

     Any of you simps doubt Jake, I'll be outside in the parking lot wearing blue and yellow and a manic grin.  Art!

     I'm pretty confident that these young ladies, and old men, are from an earlier era, where you could get away with posing women in shorts whilst looking at the bottom line.  To coin a phrase.  So, Southwest Airlines avoided the hideous World-Wide Wriggly Woesome, thanks to being so, so out of date? and having young ladies wearing go-go shorts and white belts?

     I think what I'm reaching for here is that being up-to-the-second is not necessarily the best place to be.  Older and wiser is a definite thing to aim for.  Art!

     Said the older and perhaps wiser Conrad.  We'll see.     

Did I Say Older And Golder?

Of course I did, unless we're both undergoing a simultaneous mental debridement.

     One of the consequences of walking into Lesser Sodom - O alright 'Royton' - of a Sunday is that one gets to experience the full local environment.  As this.  Art!

    What you can see here is that the old and long-promised renovation has begun, where the front has been stripped back to it's original brickwork, leaving the old 'Murphy's Bar' paintwork in it's original glory on the corner.  I'm guessing that by this time next week that, too, will be down to basic brickwork.  The old laminated A4 sheet detailing what was going to happen has now vanished.

"The War Illustrated Edition 190"

In the real world, this edition is being published in September 1944, but we here are only catching up on matters after a delay of at least two weeks, thanks to the technology of the time and editorial caution.  Art!

     In case you are wondering, this is the general Belgian population of Tournai (top photo) and Brussels (bottom photo) rejoicing that, not only have the Allies arrived, but the Teutons have gone.  The large white item in the lower photograph is an official portrait of Herr Schickelgruber being burned by Belgians, whom are enjoying one of the basic freedoms of liberty - the freedom to hate.

The Biter Bit

A good year ago the Ruffians put out a satirical video, which featured an Ukrainian family ending up eating their hamster, thanks to energy sanctions and how the ferocious Ukrainian climate (?) debilitated them.

     Well, mutatis mutandis.  What do we have here?  Art!

     After three days of no electricity or water, thanks to - er - ah - problems with the pistachio harvest in Novi Pazar - the locals decided to get out on the streets and protest, which was promptly resolved by the local police - whom have to presumably deal with the same utility shortages - beating and detaining them.  This is, of course - obviously! - recognised as being a method of instantly restoring the power supply.  Or perhaps we should say 'resolving' the power supply, because that allows for the state to either interfere or detain people for 20 years in a gulag.

     The location is Krasnodar, which Conrad has immediately dubbed 'Krasnodark', because he's horrid like that.

     We shall most certainly see!  Unless seeing requires artificial illumination.

And Now For Something - For Something - Hmmm Well Something Out There

It's no great surprise that Conrad is not up to the minute, or hour or even day with sporting events, as he cordially detests most of them.  Actually that's not true, he cordially detests ALL of them.

     Thus I have to read what follows with a sense of mystery and obfuscation.  Art!

     I did dig a little further into the article, which - well, it didn't help at all.  Art!

Final leaderboard

-9 Schauffele (US); -7 Rose (Eng), Horschel (US); -6 Lawrence (SA)

Selected: -5 Henley (US); -4 Lowry (Ire); -1 Rahm (Spa), Im (Kor), Scheffler (US); Level Jordan (Eng), Brown (Eng)

Full leaderboard

Xander Schauffele held off the challenge of Justin Rose to win the 152nd Open Championship at the end of a captivating week at Royal Troon.

     Perhaps you can better me here, but I have no idea what sport we're on about here.  It seems to be a solo event, so perhaps tennis?

     Sport.  More bother than it's worth.

Finally -

Blimey, it's getting to be difficult to post a full 1,000 word plus blog without having the benefit of a 200+ word insert from a fan-fiction.  I think I need go sort out the Sunday Stew and ponder. Ponder big time!