In real life this is not common, as most events have a long preamble before reaching a climax and conclusion. 'Not common' doesn't mean 'never happens' and I hope to illustrate this with stills from a clip on Twitter.
Picture the scene. There you are in your little family car, tooling along the motorway somewhere in Ruffia. Suddenly -
The driver who lost a wheel doesn't seem to have noticed it, since at no point do we see a car ahead pulling over. What the heck, you can manage on only three wheels, right? Art!
The next driver slows to a stop, which is not a smart move, because you can guarantee that at least one driver behind you isn't paying attention. You can see where this is going. Art!
Crunch time. Car Number Four hits Car Number Three which ploughs into the back of Car Number Two which punts Car Number One further up the road. Two drivers get out and immediately sprint away from the scene. Strange. What can they be fleeing from? Art!
How on earth this happened I have no idea. Note that Car Number One is safely beyond this mash-up. Also, off to one side is - Art!
That stray wheel which started the whole thing off.
Now onto the meat of the matter, which is another tale from Reddit, which I suspect hails from Australia or New Zealand, because they spell 'Labour' properly yet talk of cents when dealing with coinage and money. This is another case of things escalating, though nowhere near as quickly as the car crash above.
Firstly, let us encounter the traditional Bottomhole Boss, Jim. He ran two franchised donut cafes, and true to form he forced his employees to clock off before counting the money in their tills at close of business. Art!
Jim, having the words 'Bottomhole Boss' running all the way through him like a stick of rock, promptly fired John. Can't have the minions getting ideas about fair treatment.
This proved to be a sticking point for John, because when his last payment went into the bank, it was short by $0.75.
Cue a call to Labour Standards, which appears to be the Antipodean equivalent of the South Canadian State Labour Board. One of the things they take an extraordinarily dim view of is wage theft. Art!
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| Quiver, Jim, quiver |
Jim refused to pay John his $0.75, so off to court they went. Jim's trial preparation consisted of forging fake payroll documents to 'prove' he'd paid people correctly.
This cunning tactic backfired as the employees all turned up with their payslips, proving wage theft. Ooops.
In the end, Jim had to pay John the $0.75, at which point John shrugged and gave it to the employee next to him.
In the end, Jim had to pay John the $0.75, at which point John shrugged and gave it to the employee next to him.
O yes, Jim also had to compensate all the employees he'd stiffed over wages, to the tune of several hundred dollars. Art!
A bit of a bite back over $0.75, I think you'll agree.
It gets worse.
Jim had to pay a fine for stiffing his employees, and he had to pay the other party's legal fees.
It gets worse.
Jim was charged with fraud, false documentation and attempting to pervert the course of justice.
It gets worse.
CafeDonuts, who Jim franchised his two restaurants from, discovered he had been doing Very Naughty Things, took both restaurants off him and also took him to court. Jim lost. He also lost his house, which he had to sell to pay the settlement to CafeDonuts, and his wife, who presumably got fed up to the back teeth with her Bottomhole Boss husband.
All for about £0.60.
It took two years for Jim to get back on his feet and running a restaurant again. He now pays his staff correctly. Art!
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| Do nut stiff your employees |
The Eggy Yeggy
If you've been taking notes then you'll recall that a 'Yegg' is a safe-cracker in hard-boiled parlance, hence that crack about eggs. Conrad prefers them soft-boiled when eaten whole, though you have to have the HB version in salads and so forth.
Let us now continue with the elucidation about communication and what I've picked up from reading "The Long Goodbye".
ARTHUR MURRAY: From context, I think this chap was a dancer, hoofer or choreographer, because Phil was grousing at the boxers on television, who pranced all around the ring without actually, you know, boxing. Art!
I was right. Born Moses Teichman in that part of Ukraine which was Austro-Hungarian, he emigrated to South Canada, changed his name and went into ballroom dancing in a big way. There is still a chain of dance halls named after him.
BULLDOG PIPE: Rather than smoke cigarettes, like the more common kind of shamus, Phil smokes a pipe, being a bit of a tobacco snob, doncha know. Conrad knows less about pipes than he does about ballroom dancing. Art!
This is a bulldog pipe. Because it has a square shank and a tapered rim, before you ask.
FLOSSY AGENCY: This concerns the Carne Organisation, a private security company run by the ex-Colonel of Military Police Mister Carne. It has a big fancy headquarters that costs a lot to run and maintain, and is about as far as it's possible to get from the room-and-reception area of Marlowe's business address. The name 'Flossy' implies showiness and ostentation, even if all the cell-like rooms in the building are decorated in drabbest grey.
"The War Illustrated Edition 190"
Let's see what Conrad can pontificate about this time. Art!
This period was known to the British as "The Great Swan" and was a remarkably swift and prolonged pursuit of the fleeing Teutons, who were desperately trying to put distance between themselves and the Allies. This meant destroying bridges, an absence that was overcome by boats. This was a bit of a stopgap measure and later the sappers would be along to lay proper pontoon bridges, as seen in the first three photos.
The picture at bottom shows the aftermath of an air attack by the Allies on Teuton transport that had collected in a jam whilst getting ready to cross the bridge in the background. Ooops.
More Macguffin Machinations
I don't know what this is, but doesn't it look exciting! Art?
It looks very electronic and digital and professional, whatever it is.
I'm going to cheat and look at what it is by clicking on the link. Then I'm not going to tell you, because I'm horrid that way.
You'll have to take it on trust that I will ever update you. Tee hee!
Finally -
I've been stuck in the stuffy old Sekrit Layr all day long, which has felt like three days back-to-back. I dare not open the door to get any airflow lest Edna decide to run around barking the bark of a four-footed alarm system, which she does several times per day. It's actually quite pleasant outside, with a cooling breeze, so my plan of action is to hike it down to Lesser Sodom after work finishes in just over an hour's time. Also fingers crossed that we don't get too many ambulances, what with the window being ajar.
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