Were I To Say "Commando"

You'd Be Slightly Spoiled For Choice

There is, for people of my age (128 at last count), that film from the Eighties, which has a touch of camp about it, wherein Arnold slays whole armies of bad guys without, of course - obviously! - suffering so much as a broken fingernail.  There was something about dropping from an aircraft in flight and using bunting to swing across a shopping mall, too, if my gin-addled brain recalls correctly.  Art!

     Conrad is not entirely convinced one man can successfully take on an entire company armed with automatic weapons and win, which probably says more about Conrad than the plot.

     ANYWAY you are, inevitably, completely wrong, as is usual with these Intros.  But it does give me an excuse to show another picture of Arnold being belligerently butch.  Art!

CAUTION! Gunfire can be bad for your roses

     Firing a hog like the M60 single-handed makes him more like "Superhero" than a mere "Commando".  Try it if you don't believe me.

     ANYWAY AGAIN there is also the Colt Commando, an unofficial name for an M16 variant produced by Colt during the Vietnam Unpleasantness.  Art!

     As you can see, the stock is collapsible and the barrel is a lot shorter than the M16's.  Because it was what the British army calls 'alli', meaning 'cool', it was coveted by the infantry and if you got your hands on one, you could lie about being in SOC.

     But NO!  Not correct.  Art!

     This, ladies, gentlemen and those unsure, is a Cadillac "Commando" V100 armoured car.  This, too, was designed for the Unpleasantness in South East Asia, specifically for Military Police.  It combined the protection and firepower of an armoured car with the ability to carry 9 dismounts, making it a kind of hybrid.

     But again, NO!  Art?

     Yes, we are back to that bi-weekly compact comic that is still around in re-printed form.  This time, say hello to artist John Ridgeway, whose distinctive artwork graces the blog above.  John began his comics career accidentally, since he worked full-time as a design engineer and only did "Commando" as a side gig.  His work became so well-regarded that he was in constant demand and became a professional comics artist.  Art!

     Yes, that's an accurately-rendered Panzer I, the terror of Poland and France.

     Conrad is more familiar with John as an artist on "Doctor Who", where he drew iterations of the Sixth Doctor.  Art!

     That's Frobisher, the shapeshifter, who later gets stuck in the shape of a penguin.  I think it all ends swimmingly, it's been a while.  John was not above poking fun at himself, and in one story that involved the Cybermen - Art!

 - he put his own likeness into a panel as the hapless scientist being throttled by an unwisely re-activated Cyberman.  Way to go!  He was also the go-to artist for the magic-and-coming-of-age tale in "2000AD" called "Summer Magic", and is definitely the definitive artist amongst those who came after.  It's quite a change from the usual blood-and-thunder-and-robots-and-mutants fare, and welcomely so.
     Now that we've hit 500 words for this Intro, I think it's time to move on.

Hello, Goodbye

If you cast your mind back to the 3rd of August 2022, then you will recall that Conrad had received a Calendar Crossword from Wonder Wifey, that dated from 2010, of which only 10 of the crosswords had been done.  No, there weren't 365, because Saturday and Sunday were both on a single page.  So, there were 302 left to complete.  Art!

     Only from autumn last year did I start doing them in earnest, for no obvious reason, and now - Art!

     The very last page, which is now completed and in the bin.  I know it's not very profound but we can't have items about DJ Tango or Peter The Average every day, can we? or the blog would become predictable and boring.

The Haul

Conrad ambled his chill-fingered way into Lesser Sodom this morning, because he was down to the last sugar-free sweet of his 10-pack Christmas collection <sad face>.  They help to lubricate my throat during the endless, lengthy phone calls I take in my coyly-unidentified job.  Art!

     There they are, the little beggars.  I got two packs of Everton Mints as I didn't like the sound of the 'Chocolate Mints'.  That other packet is the Co-Op's "Margharita Pizza Flavour Crisps" which I have a pash for; I bought two packets so they'll think there's a big demand for them.

     Please also note that Conrad was a good boy and did not go into any charity shops to look over what military history books they might have, as I've merely cracked the covers of the two more I got last weekend.  In fact I've only cracked the cover of one - must have a nosey at the other one about the Civil Unpleasantness*.

"City In The Sky"

The Doctor has somehow overcome jamming and not being in broadcast range to get in touch with Ace, currently in Arcology One in orbit.

‘Time is short, Ace.  You and the Arcology staff need to track down the Lithoi’s base.  All indications are that it’s in the desert, the Nullarbor Plain.  They haven’t moved or evacuated as I’d hoped.’  For a second she could picture him standing glumly under a gloomy sky, sad that his best efforts to resolve things with minimal force had failed.  ‘Get back to me when you have a result.’

     Is that all! she silently cursed.  Her conscience didn’t allow her to remain in bed and needled her until her uneasy doze ended and she got up to find a crew member.

     The sphere had moved into it’s deep night cycle and her eyes took time to adjust when she left the stark room.  Following the random patterns of lights allowed her to look out of the observation strip and see Earth, blue and beautiful, wheeling across the sky.

     Well, that was as close as Arc One’s population would ever get unless she and the Prof got their act together.  Where was that Communications shack?

      The claustrophobic shack had two people on duty, rather than the normal single person.  One watcher was a stranger to Ace; the other was Christos Abramovitch, busy with a Tab and a set of notes.  Another monitor screen had died amongst the bank of working ones, leaving a second blank space that hinted at Arc One’s gradual disintegration.

     Now, how do you track down a radar-invisible alien spaceship that's located in an area of about forty thousand square kilometres?  Simples!

What's This?

As you should surely know by now, Your Humble Scribe is a sucker for a good bad film, what you might call 'guilty pleasures', where the plot is silly, the dialogue trite, the budget minute and the actors more wooden than the scenery.

     So, all that being said, this byline on the BBC News webpage caught my eye.  Art!

     Hmmm.  Well, how bad could it possibly be?  Don't forget, "Five Nights At Freddy's" was a global phenomenon, raking in <checks Box Office Mojo> $291 million on a budget of perhaps $25 million, and that subverted the trope of lovable cuddly creatures.

     Aha.  Looking at the review for "Blood And Honey", it seems the creators took advantage of the copyright recently expiring - I did wonder about that - and decided to, ah, 're-imagine' A. A. Milne's characters as homicidal maniacs. Art!

     There are only two things wrong with the film, according to critics: it isn't funny and it isn't scary.

     Ooops, I accidentally used a poster for the sequel.  Yes, sequel.

     Do you know why?

     Because horror films are cheap.  This one only cost $100,000 and yet grossed $4,940,000 at the box office, so almost a 50:1 return.
     Humanity is doomed.

Finally -

Conrad is unsure what the schedule for tomorrow will be as Darling Daughter is coming over to celebrate Mother's Day.  There will, inevitably, be pictures.

Sooner!

*  That is, the misnomered ENGLISH Civil Unpleasatness.  South Canadians please take note.