Ha! Sometimes I Amuse Even Myself
You ought to be familiar with the fan-fiction excerpts I have been posting here, from my "Doctor Who" back catalogue, which currently tell the tale of the Arcologies in Earth orbit. These are self-sufficient space-stations that house a selection fraction of the human race, waiting for the chance to return to a post-apocalyptic Earth after things have cooled down a lot. Well, 'self-sufficient' up to a point, as they've been stuck in orbit for far longer than intended. Food is running short, things are breaking down and wearing out, and only a strange little man with a straw boater and his riot Grrrl companion can save the day. Art!
None of that has anything to do with the Jorasses mountain ranges in the Aosta province of Italy, a geological feature that has probably never bothered you before. Me neither, until I came across a reckless Roman mountaineer and his chirpy lady friend: Bernardo and Chul. It was their sworn intent to hike and climb up the face of said mountains in order to reach the 'Bivacco Gervasutti', which is Roman for 'Bivouac Gervasutti'. Named after the famous Italian mountaineer Gervasutti. I shall take that on trust. Art!
This is the bivouac as it was, re-built, in 1961. Very modest, I'm sure you'll agree, because all the materials were carried up by mountaineers.
Some 40 years later, the local Alpine climbing club got more like a swarm than a single been in their bonnet, and decided that what the Aosta valley needed, above all else, was a new bivvie. It would be large, it would be modern, it would look, in Conrad's opinion, as if an aircraft had crashed onto the mountainside. Art!
No, the structural components were not carried up on the backs of sweating alpini, it was airlifted into position. Frankly, you'd not get Conrad in there under any circumstances, it looks far too flimsy and barely-secured. Not so for Bernardo! O no, he was determined to get up there and spend the night. His journey began in the foothills of the Aosta Valley. Art!
First obstacle was a rather testy river. Bernardo didn't know that there's a crossing point further up the valley where a bridge crosses the frothing torrent. O well, he'll know better next time. Then it's up a trail that is quite poorly-defined, where the job transitions from walking to hiking to mountaineering. Art!
Waaaaaaaaaay up there
From what I could see and what Ol' Bernie said, those ropes are permanently positioned, so that anyone wanting to climb the mountain doesn't have to bring miles and miles of it along. This is the point at which Your Cowardly Scribe would have happily turned round and gone home. Art!
I've had to put this in as Extra-Large, as otherwise the bivvie is invisible. It's the small, circular red-outlined object just south of dead centre in the picture above. Let's get an enlarged Snip. Art!
By this time our intrepid pair are above the treeline and soon all the vegetation vanishes, with only rock and ice around. Ol' Bernie enjoys the solitude at this height, which he is quite welcome to. Conrad not persuaded. Art!
No green, only grey. Plus a glacier. Well, I suppose the chilly white massif breaks up the boring monochrome landscape. When our daring pair up in the air arrive at Bivacca Gersutti there is a moment of panic as they wonder if the front door is locked. Of course - obviously! - it isn't, because what thief would think of a six-hour hike and mountain-climb with a ton of gear, across treacherous ice-field and a raging river, in order to steal a few blankets and pans? Art!
Kitchen Bedroom
There is power to the hob and electric lighting thanks to the solar panels you can see attached to the rockface above, plus a computer able to broadcast an emergency signal if the worst has befallen you. The whole Bivacco accommodates up to twelve people, making it perhaps the smallest city ever, yet undoubtedly in the sky. Ol' Bernie and Chul had the unparalleled pleasure the next morning of having to climb all the way back down, the lucky things. Art!
FYI, "EE" is not that demanding
Yes, the Bivvie sits at 2,870 metres elevation, or one and three-quarter miles in proper measurements. You think that's high?
Mock It, The Rocket
As you may be dimly aware, the Ruffian military juggernaut has proven to have feet not only made of clay, but interlarded with lead, too. They are only able to maintain their forces in Ukraine by emptying out the old mothballed vehicle parks, with equipment 70 years old being sent to the front lines. Even then, there are gaps, such as MRLS vehicles.
Not only that, they have been creating "Frankentanks" that blend weapons and chassis together to birth unholy hybrids. The only people who appreciate these chimerae are wargamers and modellers, who love novelty. Art!
Behold the monstrosity that is an RBU 6000 Anti-Submarine Rocket Launcher, mounted on a GAZ truck. Even as I type, wargamers will be tastelessly working out the stats for range, accuracy and points cost. These things have been created because - well, the Ruffian Black Sea Fleet is currently hiding in port, not cruising the high seas, so they can afford to donate a few shooty-shooty items. Art!
There you see the RBU 6000 in it's natural habitat, where it operates in conjunction with a fire-control system. The - not sure what to call it - Muck-a-Truck? - operates in conjunction with the Mark One Human Eyeball. I'm sure it comes across as very 'MacBeth' - "Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.'
I May Have To Check This Out
As you should surely know by now, Conrad likes his music. At this very moment I am playing The Mars Volta's "A Zed And Two Naughts", which is a very glorious free-form racket. That percussion!
ANYWAY I happened across a musical reference on Twitter from user 'Grandpa Yurko', who seems to be a genuine Uke, and whom suggested a potential soundtrack to A Single Unfortunate Event. Art!
I shall let you puzzle out the Roman and Cyrillic alphabets yourself.
Irony piled upon irony, sugar is indeed white death for Conrad, him being a diabetic and all.
Currently playing "Echoes" so SWD will have to wait a minute. I'd no idea it was Rick Wright singing the vocals along with Big Dave.
"City In The Sky"
A proper city-sized population up in the heavens and then some.
Later that day, deep in the machine shops of the Lithoi’s base, Orskan
94 hissed and seethed to himself. It was
all very well Arkan 22 giving orders like “no rest” but in practice that meant
unwilling shifts of the low-caste workers making mistakes thanks to exhaustion,
very probably making things less successful than if they worked normally. And he was supposed to carry out both
projects simultaneously! Which meant
both went slowly, and doubtless Arkan 22 wouldn’t like that, either.
Nilkan 34, having a higher caste status and a correspondingly higher
position in the ship, had his concerns, too.
He could cook up some frightful disease, certainly, and do it quicker
than those lower caste spanner-wielders could build a flying eye, and that was
the problem; they’d end up storing a deadly viral agent aboard their baseship.
Well, necessity made it so, he reasoned.
They had done it before, with their original created disease, the one
that humans called “The Phage”. After
all, there was simply no way humans could damage the baseship, even if they
knew where it was .....
Yes, well, being aspiring world-conquerors comes with a whole lot of baggage I'll bet you never thought twice about, did you?
Remember FTX?
The crypto-currency scamble that put a serious dent in all those bright shiny hopes of the get-rich-quick crowd? The only one of the guilty - sorry! - allegedly guilty quintet of leaders who pled Not Guilty, Sam Bankman-Fried, has just been sentenced after being found guilty months ago. Art!
That's an hideous sketch! He looks like an orc in a wig!
He may now be regretting that he didn't plea deal when he had the chance.
Finally -
It's best not to consume gin on an empty stomach, so time to scoff a whole shelf of remaindered food in our fridge.
Laterz!
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