Just Imagine

You May - Or May Not - Be Aware

That this Thursday is Groundhog Day, one of those peculiar traditions that the South Canadians like to indulge in to prove that they can be as quirky and twee as we here in This Sceptred Isle, except let's see you better Cheese Rolling pal.  Art!

"Excuse me, sir, but do you have a licence?  And what about you, Bill?"

     If you haven't seen 'Groundhog Day' the film then THE EXIT DOOR IS THAT WAY!  Go out and watch it NOW!

     ANYWAY the idea is that if a groundhog comes out of his burrow and is able to see his shadow, then winter will continue for another six weeks.  If, on the other hand (or paw) he comes out of his burrow and cannot see his shadow thanks to the overcast, spring will come soon.

     The splendidly-named town where this event takes place on February 2nd is Punxsutawney, and it is to this bucolic town and event that Phil Connors, Bill's cynical and worldly character, is sent to in order to cover the event on that day.

     Repeatedly.

     Forsooth! Phil is stuck in a time-loop and condemned to relive 2nd February endlessly, even when he goes to extremes and kills himself.  Art!

Cholesterol, Phil, cholesterol

     After all, if there are no consequences to your actions, what's to stop you going utterly berserk?

     Phil, of course, is saved by the love of a good groundhog Sorry - woman, a good woman, because when they indulge in hinted hanky-panky, the loop is broken and Phil and Rita move on.

     Conrad, of course, had to wander and wonder what other works of fiction have incorporated people running in a time-loop, and came up with a few suggestions.  Firstly, of course - obviously! - recalled by the phrase itself, there is 'Looper', a fine sci-fi thriller.  Art!

     Here the titular 'loopers' are assassins who kill victims of future crime syndicates, since getting rid of bodies in the future is practically impossible.  The victims are 'looped' backward in time to the near future, where they get killed.  The grim twist is that any looper who lives to old age is looped themselves, closing it.  Thus Young Joe and Old Joe come face-to-face.

     Less obviously, there is also "Edge Of Tomorrow" where Tom Cruise's character, thanks to a little plot-fu, gets a wretched variety of immortality - if he dies he immediately wakes up alive again, beginning his day at Heathrow Airport in an alien-triggered loop.  Art!

     The kicker here is that he's an utter coward who wilfully resists getting put in dangerous situations, because - sensible chap - he will very probably get killed.

     Here's another, more obscure one: "The Stainless Steel Rat Saves The World" by Harry Harrison.  James Bolivar DiGriz is a futuristic criminal, who lies, steals, robs banks and generally indulges in skullduggery, yet with a strong moral compass.  He makes a terrific anti-hero as a contrast to all those slab-jawed policemen of the future who have all the personality of a milk loaf.  Art!

Harry, a talented cartoonist, drew this cover design himself

     In this novel Jim's employers, the Special Corps, are being directly targeted by the Evil 'He', who intends to wipe them all out by manipulating time and take over.  Well, he doesn't, and a time-loop has something to do with it.

     '2000AD' did a very entertaining adaptation of the novel, and they must have had HH's permission to do so.  I wonder if Art -

     That's He to port, Angelina and Jim to starboard, and yes, she is a lot more capable with a gun than Jim is, and much more ruthless, too.  In the background you can see the chaos that mucking around with time causes.

     Hmmmm we're already at well over 600 words and I've got still more stuff about time-loops - of course - obviously! - 'Doctor Who' is going to feature, but let's postpone that until tomorrow, because we don't want to be caught in a time-loop ourselves, do we?

Lord Peter's Very Vexatious Crossword

I dunno.  What on earth could TOB be?  Okay, okay, let's indulge in another mysterious and obscurantist 'clue' from Ol' Dot.  " 'Lions,' said a Gallic critic, "Are not these.  Benevolent souls - they'd make your hearts blood freeze (5)."

     The solution?  MANES.

     O!  There's an explanation in the Notes, which must mean Dot realised how incredibly cryptic and hard to solve this one was.  'Un lion est une machiore et non pas une criniere' - Emile Faguet in "Lit. du XVII siecle".  Manes: spirits of the benevolent dead.

     I see.  Google!  "A lion is a machiore and not a mane"

     I'm glad we cleared that one up!  Art?

"The Sea Of Sand"

As we have seen, the overbearing feudal civilisation on the bio-vores home planet is beginning to experience unusual stresses and tensions, partly because of the Doctor's malicious interference with a culture he plainly loathed.

The far side of the incline ran downhill in a long curve, along a stretch of the sea that came inland, running over a bridge of granite blocks.  Clusters of Farmers could be seen wading in the shallows, bringing in scoops and nets of algae for processing.  One or two waved at the sled as it passed, unusually daring in that it meant ignoring the incessant demands of the job for a few seconds.

          ‘I feel we are on the brink of great things!’

  

A sombre party of three men buried the body of Sergente Capriccio behind the mud huts, alongside the larger graves dug for the soldiers killed days before.  Roger took an identity tag from beneath the NCO’s blouse, intending to pass it on to Tenete Dominione.

          ‘Come on,’ he said, despondently.  ‘You can’t bring him back, Doctor.’

          It took a sharp tug on Doctor Smith’s arm to move him from the grave.  Roger wanted them loaded up and out of the depot before any more monsters arrived, and they’d need all hands to shift crates and boxes.  He left them, to return at the wheel of their Sahariana.

          The young officer’s knowledge of the depot proved vital, since he knew exactly where to locate the wooden crates storing Italian salvage, and where a one ton crane was stored.  Both crates they wanted were, inevitably, underneath a collection of others, and the whole thing draped in camouflage netting.  Roger used the Sahariana’s bonnet-mounted winch to drag the netting off, then handed out a pair of long levers

     Gloves, too, one hopes.  Seriously, getting splinters risks a wound becoming a festering sore in the desert environment.

Shazam

This is a jolly handy little app and I wish I'd had it twenty years earlier.  Mind you in the office having your mobile phone out when Lauren (office manager) is in is Not The Done Thing.

     Nevertheless I have discovered a few more tracks by artists I was unaware of.  Inhaler, for example.  "Cheer Up Baby" made Conrad sit up and pay attention, because here's an unapologetically guitar-based band ABOUT TIME IN THE OFFICE NOT ENOUGH GUITAR IF YOU ASK ME.  Art!

Finally -

Last day at MULYSATOOF tomorrow, and I won't miss eleven-hour days, nor leaving the house when it's dark and not getting back to The Mansion when it's dark.  I will miss Tony's Extra-Large Doner Kebabs, which are good enough to make special bus pilgrimage in future ...