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Thursday, 19 January 2023

Conrad's Brain Part 2

You Knew It Was Coming

So don't weep and complain.  Yes, I have a brain.  It's mine and that's not going to change any time soon.  

     Speaking of brains, Your Humble Scribe is minded of that schlock classic, "The Brain From Planet Arous" - Art!

Er - quite.

     Quite a striking title, nicht wahr?  This film - yes, this is an aside, since you ask - was made in 1957, when you most certainly could NOT use the word "Arouse" in a title so perhaps this was a way to get round the censor, and also interest teenaged perverts?  The plot features an alien brain-creature taking over the body of a human scientist, and the arrival of another brain-creature who wishes to foil the first.  Done on a shoe-thread (that is, even less than a shoe-string) budget, it didn't go down too well at the time but has gone on to enjoy considerable critical success since, with lots of television shows referencing it or outright playing quotes or scenes.  Art!


     This is a still from an obscure Sixties sci-fi telly series called "Starry Trex" or something, and the effect with John Agar's alien-brain-possessed eyes has been copied - contact lenses lined with metal, which sounds extremely painful to Conrad (ex-contact lens wearer).

     One particular line from the film has been used by musicians as a sample many times, including one I've actually heard of: Deadmaus.  The line is - 

"After I'm gone, your Earth will be free to live out its miserable span of existence, as one of my satellites, and that's how it's going to be"...


     I like that line.  That's a philosophy Conrad could adopt for when I take over.

    ANYWAY of course - obviously! - that's not what this Intro is about.  What I wanted to explain away was how my thought-processes work, because - well, because they work.

     So, what's been bothering me recently is the recollection of a novel read probably five decades ago.  Trouble is, I cannot recall either the title or the author, only that it must have been published before circa 1972.  I think it was definitely in the genre of 'Young Adult'.  Art!


     I seem to recall that it was bookended with one person being challenged to tell a tale, which concerned a group of young adults and adult adults, who survived a mysterious apocalypse that killed everyone else on the planet.  They only realise this when trying to sneak a slipper from the foot of a woman washing dishes at the sink, and (IIRC) her entire foot comes off as she's been turned to stone.  O, and a group of escaped prisoners turn up, who survive because they were hiding in a salt mine.

     Google has not been any great help, either, because my search terms have been so vague.  Conrad seems to recall that the author wrote a previous novel, where a variety of animals decide that they're going to speak to a small group of humans.  "The cat's done the front doorstep" is a line that sticks with me.  There was also a bullfinch that pecked off flower heads, using the excuse that there were worms in every one - I think that's the last line.  Art!

See?

     This will continue to annoy me until I stumble over either the author or the title BECAUSE I WILL NOT STOP LOOKING.  O, and everyone dies in the end, apart from one adult adult, who builds a set of robots to carry on after he's gone, which they do until they wear out.  Kinda bleak.  Must have been a British author, one can't imagine the cheery positive South Canadians penning anything as depressing.  

     So there you have it.  How My Mind Works The Official Story.


More Of Manglement

Because one never tires of hearing stupid South Canadian bosses get their bottoms handed to them on a silver salver.

     Original Poster was working in a manufacturing business run by a couple of engineering graduates.  Note that: engineering, not business.  They inherited the business from their fathers, but not their business acumen.  Art!


     They got greedy and decided that all the salaried employees were going to do five hours unpaid overtime per week, in order to boost productivity.

     What could possibly go wrong?

     The salaried employees, that what.  Prior to the 2 bottomhole's decision, they had regularly been working 60 to 70 hours per week without getting OT (South Canadian business owners are peculiarly allergic to this).  Not any longer.  They went back to their paid 45 hour week and ten people left immediately - staff the company could not afford to lose, except they had.  Quality of work suffered, customers left and productivity declined abruptly.  The business' profits tanked.  OP put up with it for a few months then left himself.


     As I mentioned, engineering not business graduates.


Lord Peter's Crossword

Here's another laughably-titled 'clue'.  "I stand, a ladder to renown, 'twixt the stars and Milan town (5)."  

     And the solution?  SCALA.

     Say what?  I think we need a map.  

     Aha!  Google is my friend today.  Art!



     'La Teatro di Scala' is a theatre in Milan.  Now it makes sense!  At least more sense than it did before it turned up as a search term.


"The Sea Of Sand"

The Doctor is perusing an interesting set of notes he stole from the Forward Supply Depot at Mersa Martuba.

At the bottom of the carefully inked-in notations was a scribbled note in pencil:

          “It. medical kit no obvious use”

          ‘What’s all the mystery about?’ asked Roger.  The Italian officer looked puzzled at what the Doctor deemed interesting.  Sarah translated for him, the Time Lord once again being engrossed in his collection of notes.

          ‘It’s a mobile x-ray unit, which should have been with the headquarters of Twentieth Corps and the medical staff there.’

          Dominione added that the crate must have been abandoned during the retreat of January, then discovered and salvaged by the British.

          ‘Oh, I know where it’s located,’ said Roger off-handedly.  He indicated a stack on the sketch of Mersa Martuba.

          ‘Here’s another useful item,’ said the Doctor, showing another note, duplicating most of the previous one.  The difference was that this one had “L3/35 LANCE FIAMME” in the Nomenclature box.  Another pencil note at the bottom said “Tin-can spare parts?”

          ‘Aha, that’s one of them Eyetie – er, Italian – tankettes, an L3,’ said Tam, proud that he could recall the details.

          ‘What does it need a lance for?’ asked Albert, spreading jam on a slice of stale cracker.

          ‘It means “flame thrower”,’ translated Sarah.

The Doctor looked at everyone, who looked back at him.

     You can tell he's plotting mischief by the look on his face.


The Chieftain Speaks!

Yes, I am referring to armour expert Nick Moran, also known by his Youtube channel "The Chieftain's Hatch" which is well worth investing in a visit if you have any interest in TANK.  Given that he was an Abrams tank commander in Iraq, he knows whereof he speaks.  Art!

Nick in service

     Given that he's about 6' 3" I wonder how, exactly, he fits into any armoured vehicle.  He has a series of videos on YT about different tanks, which he inevitably finishes with the phrase "O b*****, the tank is on fire" and attempts to make an emergency exit.

     I mention him here as he was the guest expert on Times Radio on YT - I know, I know, anvoxymoron if ever there was one - discussing the delivery of the Challenger 2 to Ukraine.  Tellingly, the TR interviewer let him explain at length and didn't cut him short or interrupt him.  His net points were that the Chally is very, very hard to kill; thanks to it's thermal vision and optics it will see Ruffian tanks first; and the rifled 120mm gun will then destroy said Ruffian tanks before they realise they're in range.  Art!

     
     A very good public speaker with a sardonic sense of humour.


Finally -

That's it!

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