That's The Usual Corrective For Excessive Whimsy, Isn't It?
At least when applied to the face, and it's O so appropriate. For Lo! we are back on the subject of lighthouses once more, which will fascinate everyone bar the Swiss and the Magyars (landlocked you sea*).
Okay, let us immediately change mental tack and deal with "A Clockwork Orange", Ol' Stan's master Opus from 1971, which was never banned. Really, he just made sure it was never allowed out in the light of day. Art!
Quite why this film has a song of the uttermost triviality is a moot point. I refer, of course - obviously! - to "I Want To Marry A Lighthouse Keeper" as by Erica Eigen. Let us look at a line or two:
I want to marry a lighthouse keeper
And keep him company
I want to marry a lighthouse keeper
And live by the side of the sea
Let us be charitable and assume the song was written in 1971. Hmmmm, sorry Erica, you had to be an employee of Trinity House to live in a lighthouse, and even if you were, there were always three members of a lighthouse crew on duty at all times. So you'd be sharing your domicile with a third person. This holds true until the Nineties, by which date all British lighthouses had been automated. So your song is long out of date. Sorry and all that, raining on your parade; or perhaps that ought to be waving against your walls.
This leads, naturally enough, into the construction of the Royal Sovereign lighthouse, because I found a fascinating Youtube video about it. Talk about complex! What's that? Pictures or it never happened? You're on. Art!
Base being constructed
This is being done on the beach at Newhaven, close to the water's edge in order to be able to float the sections out. The cabin construction was done using 'roller-skates' so it could be rolled onto a temporary platform. Art!
Both roller-y and skatey
Meanwhile the base was having the tower section built up, using fuel tanks as internal formers since they were cylindrical too. Art!
Tank being lowered into position
The cabin is finally completed, although it still needs fitting out. Art!
You can see how close they are to the water's edge, and one can only presume they were doing this in the summer, where a storm is less likely to occur, because getting swamped by the sea would be both embarrassing and ironic.
Ah! It's being done in time to catch the Spring high tide. That above shows bulldozers and cranes removing sand and gravel in order to enable the base to be floated out on said high tide.
One thing you miss with my picture gallery here is the awe-inspiring Seventies soundtrack, because somebody had got a brand new synthesizer for Christmas, and to judge by the sounds they make, they also did the soundtrack for 'Doctor Who' on their days off.
Conrad thinks that's enough white-knuckle entertainment in lighthouse construction for one afternoon. Don't worry, we will be coming back to this.
"All Of Us Are Dead"
THERE WILL BE SPOILERS!
Just so you know.
Conrad finished watching this Sork zombie horror drama last night, and it ends quite satisfyingly. The small group of survivors gets whittled down to half a dozen, if we don't count Prez as she's something else entirely. Art!
Not all of these make it
As you can see, these kids aren't stupid, they've armed themselves and added extra protection against bitey zombies. Even so, it takes a touch of deus ex machina to ensure most of them survive. The Korean army? They go completely against the Western archetype of the military being useless, since they turn out to be clever and adaptable. How so? Their research indicates that the zombies go frantic when exposed to sounds in the 24 kilohertz range. Problem one: how do you get all the wildly scattered undead into a concentrated mass, so you can missile them to bits? Simples - you use a swarm of drones equipped with speakers, giving it rice at 24Kz, leading the zeds to congregate in a huge mass. Well, four huge masses. Art!
Only drone picture I could find
Problem two: what do you do about human survivors trapped within the perimeter? You send over a helicopter broadcasting a warning until the very second the missiles are launched. See? Morals.
We shall come back to this as I think we need a few photographs, and there are numbers to crunch, which is always fascinating**.
Our Very Own Horror Story
We don't have the budget that AOUAD managed, so you'll just have to use your imagination. Which, I confess, is often far, far worse than anything put on screen.
‘Brrrr! Good, I hope he suffers sleepless
nights. Before you go and leave me to
read my lovely and wonderful book, tell me something that Father Geoghan
hasn’t. Why are there so few spirits around? What makes a spirit stay or stops them from
moving on?’
Jen bounced off the bed, glad to
be able to pontificate.
‘Ooh, thought you’d never
ask!’ she grinned. ‘No single simple answer. Part of it is to do with perception at the
moment of death and the impact that has on the non-physical component of a
human being, which can be positive or negative.
Then you have people strong-willed enough to manifest after the passing
of their physical body – they tend to be either very noble or very evil spirits. Some spirits seem to be left behind at
random. Sunspot activity is supposed to
make a difference, too.’
That made him snort in amusement.
‘No, really! Think about it, Luma. Spirits are formed from energy, a matrix
bound and made coherent by imposed consciousness. Sunspots create huge surges of high-energy
particles in the atmosphere, which can affect electrical equipment here on
Earth. Ergo, spirits can be affected by
sunspots.’
‘Don’t let Father Geoghan hear
you talk like that!’ he joked. ‘Science
meets spirits via sunspots. You’ve
learnt that from your – spirit community, I suppose.’
She looked sad.
‘Yes. They were jealous I had a connection with
you. Some of them may come to see you,
if you don’t mind.’
‘Mind they wipe their feet before
coming inside,’ he half-joked, bemused at the prospect of ethereal visitors
from the unseen world of the spirits making house calls.
Since these spirits can walk through walls, I think coughing politely before doing just that would be wise.
Rich Tea!
Perhaps I should have said "Rich IN Tea". Out of no particular reason other than being a pedantic hair-splitter who likes to count his material possessions, Your Humble Scribe made a stack of his loose-leaf Darjeeling, and if Art will put aside his bowl of coal -
 |
| Fifteen packets |
We all realise this is barely enough to get by on. Still, I shall try hard to make it work.
Finally -
Dog Buns! Raining again. What a miserable weekend it's been weatherwise here in This Sceptred Isle, non-stop downpours yesteryon, with today hinting at a possibility of blue skies in the morning. Sadly not to be, methinks. You see, I intend to take the Wunderhund walkies in order to give my Band 4 a test drive. Currently it's sitting at only 409 steps, which is pretty feeble.
O I say! A small patch of blue sky!
* Do you see wha - O you do.
** To me, at least, and it's my opinion that counts here.
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