If I Were To Say "Sheldon"

Then You Might Well Get The Wrong Idea

 - and fondly imagine that we're going to be wittering on about that comedy program that makes science a comedy subject, all founded around that splendid role model Sheldon, a character that all young people should look up to.  Which is altogether too many uses of "that", since I was trying to avoid too much use of the "The"*.

     Sadly we aren't going anywhere near that today, or this today, and are in fact going in i) the diametrically opposed direction and ii) there will be a Sheldon later, just not how you were expecting it.

     For Lo! we are back on Conrad's most recent opus about the biker gang's attack on the shopping mall in "Dawn Of The Dead", and how badly they fare.  I realise this is answering a question that probably no-one has asked, which is all to the good as it means we got there first and you can relax knowing that BOOJUM! did all the hard work on your behalf.

Working hard

     When last we left them, the biking buffoons had gotten into the shopping mall by moving one of the obstructing trucks away from the doors.  Why didn't our gallant trio of squatters not simply slash the truck tires? I hear you ask.  Well, they obviously didn't see any need when they first placed the trucks, and the clusters of zombies around them later rather prevented doing any such thing.  Mind you, they could have used the helicopter - but this is second-guessing the scriptwriters.  Back to biking buffoons!

     These two pictures give you an idea of how many motorbikers head into the mall, although we never get a picture of exactly how many are moving at any one time.  Conrad guesses at about fifteen bikes with about twenty people; the red van with one of the gang leaders remains outside the mall, trying to block entry to the waiting (and accumulating!) zombie hordes outside.

     Here you see the villainous crew who dragged the doors open.  Note that this so-called 'professional army' doesn't have the nous to close the doors and slow down zombie ingress.  Plus all three of the bikers on foot that you see here turn up later in the looting scenes, so there was nobody even trying to stop armies of the un-professional sort bimbling inside the mall.

     O how they like the bike.  However, can they drive them up a moving escalator or a set of stairs?  And, again, belying their 'professional' status, what do they do once inside the mall?  They loot shops of silver goblets, rings and television sets.  Right.  Nothing to eat, drink or that can be burned to stay warm.  In fact, when they come across pies (which can only have been defrosted recently by our gallant squatters) they - have a pie-fight.  

     I shan't include pictures of them getting eaten alive, as that would be tacky and also scare any small children or squeamish people who have accidentally stumbled across the blog.  I do have these.  Art!

     This is the bikers happily abandoning their fallen comrades with nary a look back, let alone trying to rescue any of them.  And do you see any of them with bags or rucksacks or even bungee cords?  No.  So they can't have managed to even steal very much, only being able to stuff things down the front of their clothing, because you need both hands to control and steer a motorbike.  From what Your Modest Artisan saw, Peter pops 5 of the gang, and the zombies rend another 5 limb-from-limb in the most literal sense, so an estimated 20 survive.  Great!  Very professional, chaps.  A third of your gang dead, and you have some silver goblets to show for it.  I hope you nicked some beer or wine to drink from them.  O what's that?  You didn't get into the supermarket and the off-licence was shuttered?  Enjoy your collected rainwater, then.

    

CAUTION!  Do not go looting without one of these.  Or, even better, two.

     No Motley today, it needed to go get it's skin-substitute renewed.


About Sheldon

Sheldon Manor, that is.  And no, that's not a typo about how Mister Cooper behaves, I refer to a BBC article of a somewhat curious nature.  Art?

Sheldon Manor

     Let's see if I can find the link.  One moment -

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-54973017

     There you go, and let's have a copy of the headline, too. Art!

An illustration showing the sack of Basing House

     The article quotes one Doctor David Appleby, an academic at Nottingham University, who found out what he believed was a "cover-up" about a massacre of the Royalist garrison at Shelford Manor, as it's not listed in histories.

     O no?  Art!

     Your Humble Scribe looked it up in his edition and it gets three pages, 137 - 139.  And this edition was published 11 years ago.  So if there was a cover-up, it was a pretty rubbish one.

     We shall come back to this, as it has annoyed Conrad.  Okay, okay, rendered me more annoyed than usual.  There.  Happy now?

"Greyhound"

Conrad has begun watching this and boy is that title ever correct.  "Grey" is the operative word.  Grey seas, grey skies, grey ship.  Some of the humans present have a distinct shade of grey about them, too - possibly seasick given the sea state, which is Bad.   Art?

     It also stars the very excellent Stephen Graham, mustering a passable South Canadian accent.  We are only 23 minutes in; let's hope he makes it to the end, hmmm?  That above is him being all serious and moody in monochrome (shades of grey?), yet he can crack a smile if needed.  Art?

Finally -

Here we are going to touch on South Canadian politics, but from 150 years ago, which makes it history, not <shudders> Politics which as any fule no BOOJUM! tries to avoid**.  Thanks to Legal Eagle for bringing this one up.

     Okay, it is 1874 in Texas, and the incumbent Governor, Edmund Davis, has lost the election to maintain his post.  However, he refuses to leave the governor's mansion, locks all the doors and wires President Grant to send an army to back him up.

Texas.  Just so we're clear.

     The President wisely does nothing of the sort.  The new governor and legislature have to use ladders to climb in the second storey windows in order to convene.  Mister Sulkypants Davis finally quits his office, after locking it, and taking the keys with him.  The new governor gains entry with the help of an axe forcefully applied to the doors.

Also works for hotels

     And with that, Vulnavia, we are O so very done!

*  Musical in-joke for those of you paying attention

**  Though we will stoop to mock Tsar Putin