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Thursday, 19 November 2020

If I Were To Say "Big Bang Theory"

It Would Be Very Naughty Of Me

Because you would all automatically assume Conrad was referring to that comedy program of a very similar name, except they have "The" added in as a prefix, and of course I referenced Sheldon Cooper in yesterday's blog post, and even went so far as to have a picture of him as an example of what you weren't getting and what the blog wasn't about.  This is typical of BOOJUM! as we frequently spend a great deal of time explaining what we're not covering.  Ergo -

What you're not getting.
     Here an aside.  Your Humble Scribe has seen as many as several episodes of TBBT, and <gasps all around> enjoyed it, because it has nerds as the heroes, and very clever female characters.  Conrad does have a thing for clever ladies - and we shall stop the aside right there before we descend into sleazy seediness.
     So what is the theory about the Big Bang?

     Horribly complicated if you go into the details, Vulnavia.  It deals with a specialised form of astronomy entitled "cosmology" or how everything came to be, and It Came To Be from a singularity of unbelievable density and temperature, all the way back 13 billion years ago.  Art?

Not sure where the statue comes in
     There was a sudden expansion - the Big Bang - and the universe developed from that, into the state you now see before you.  Scientists have found all sorts of indications of the BB being how we began, ranging from the speed at which the most distant galaxies are moving away (which is Shockingly Fast) to echoes of that initial explosion expressed as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation.  Ha!  Take that, Steady State Theory*!
Banging and Big
     Of course, this still leaves the puzzle of what was around before the Big Bang, which awkward people won't stop asking, and are then unhappy with replies of "An elephant on top of a turtle" or "an infinity of stone" or "What else do you want after this incredible scientific discovery - some gravy to go with it?"
     Okay, Motley, I've got the microphone set up in a protective bunker, you put on the headphones and I'll light the fuse.

Pretty Impressive Bang


It's 1645 Again!

No, Your Humble Scribe is not implying that it's a quarter to five in the afternoon, which - another aside here - reminds me of that track "Nine In The Afternoon", which should be followed by the words "You eat jam from a jar with a spoon".

The guilty party
     Because trying to eat jam with a fork would look pretty silly, I can tell you!

     Anyway, I am about to hold forth on the BBC article they put out about the storming of Sheldon Manor and how the result was covered-up, all of which took place in the year 1645 AD.  Their article used selected quotes from a Doctor David Appleby to make a case; however, they do not mention the source of their quotations anywhere in the article, meaning one cannot go back to the source and check what he actually wrote.

     As I have already pointed out, there are published references to the siege and sack of Sheldon Manor in "Sieges of the English Civil War".  It was held by a garrison of about 200 men, mostly of the Queen's Regiment, who were mostly Catholics, and was defended with a pallisaded rampart and a flooded moat.  

Rampart and pallisade
     The commander of the garrison, one Colonel Stanhope, boastfully rejected the besieging Parliamentary order to surrender, as he expected help to arrive.  It didn't, and the Roundheads knew a weak point in the perimeter which enabled them to get across the moat once it had been filled in with faggots, and then scale the walls with ladders.  One of the Parliamentary colonels ordered no quarter to be given by the storming parties, and they accordingly killed about 160 of the garrison, until the other senior Parliamentary officer, Colonel Hutchinson, stopped the butchery.  Stanhope himself had been badly injured after having being found cowering in his quarters, then thrown on a dunghill.  Despite Hutchinson rescuing him and offering medical help, Stanhope died two days later.

The siege of Basing House


     This summary comes from Barratt's work and his recitation by Lucy Hutchinson of her husband's actions and those of the men he commanded.  So, hardly 'covered-up'.  Unusually bloody for a storming in the English Civil Unpleasantness, yes, which might also be explained by the besiegers thinking that the King was present, and also being cross at their foes persisting in armed defiance when the Royalist cause was so hopelessly defeated.  


More Of Idiots At Work

Because everyone enjoys a bit of schadenfreude (or is it just me?) I now display more casually careless folks mucking about with dangerous wood-chopping machines as they jockey to join the Darwin Awards club.  Art!


     This is one of those infernal devices where the business end of affairs, in this case a rapidly-rotating tapered device with a screw thread, remains static and the operator shoves lumps of timber onto it.  Note the usual lack of guards or gates or guides, and that you have to reach across the spinning giant drill-bit to reach the controls to turn it off.

    The operator leans over to acquire more wood, either not knowing or not caring that his leg is getting dangerously close to the spinning drill-bit ...


     Just to show you how effective it is at splitting timber into bits, and how it would have no problem at splitting a leg or kneecap.  The operator has not yet <ahem> got the point, but at some future date he most certainly will.


Just So We're Clear -

I have just finished reading Robert Kershaw's "It Never Snows In September", which is an account of the Market-Garden campaign in September 1944 NO! I am not saying it's sixteen minutes to eight! <ahem>, and you might well roll your eyes and say "Another one?" because there are a lot of books out there about Arnhem et al.  Yes, except this one is told from the Teuton point of view, and illuminating it is too.  The Teuton staff-officer work was impeccable and highly skilled, whereas the quality of the troops they had to work with was - ah - 'variable', shall we say.  Art?


     My copy is the paperback edition, where they have eschewed the photographs from the hardback and instead used their glossy print pages to show monochrome versions of the colour maps from the hardback, which is a useful amendment.

     I am still plodding my way through "Transportation On The Western Front" also, and expect to be for many days yet.  So many trains!

The very definition of 'niche'

Finally -

Yes I was off yesterday, and you only got one post.  A man can only read so fast, you know, and I really need to get that Book Mountain reduced a little.  My next work of fiction is "The White Company", because "La Morte D'Arthur" is about three inches thick.  Conrad is also speed-reading "Field Guns In France" because he thinks there was mention in it about "rake".


I think that makes us pretty much done!



*  The competitor back in the early days, nothing to do with an alternative show pitch.

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