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Saturday, 3 October 2020

Falling Down

No! Nothing To Do With That Film

You know the one, with Michael Douglas, and to my surprise it was directed by Joel Schumacher, whom Your Humble Scribe always considered to be a hack - 

I rest my case, Your Honour

yet this film gets fairly good reviews.  Haven't seen it myself.

"D-Fens' understanding of the difference between "buying" and "robbing" was a little hazy."
     An unstable, sweaty, desperate, unemployed chap with a bag of guns.  What can possibly go wrong?
     Well, lots, obviously, otherwise it would be a very short film.  Imagine that he drives to his ex's house, surprises her (she has a restraining order out against him) and gives his daughter her birthday present, then goes home.  Ten minutes tops.

Maybe nine

     No, what I wanted to bring to your attention is that phrase "What can possibly go wrong?" and remember what the title of today's early blog is.  For last night I was delighting in the misfortune of others - if Conrad was a stick of rock he would have "Schadenfreude" all the way through - amidst some pretty spectacular accidents.  Because there's nothing funnier than somebody else's misfortune*!  Art?

This is simply asking for trouble
     There were no descriptions on this compilation of disasters, so all I can guess it that this is the simultaneous laying of a large-bore pipeline for liquid transportation, and that it's both metal and massive.  Before we cut to the chase allow me to cue up another "Before" scene.  Art?

It wasn't clear if that length of motorway was being lifted or lowered
     I think this model of crane is called a "dragline", possibly even a "walking dragline" - hang on, let's not guess, permit me an aside on Google - ah no, it's not a walker, they don't use caterpillar tracks.  Just call it a very large crane.

     Okay, back to image one.  Art?

Oopsie
     They segued out of this clip at that very point, so it's not clear if every single one of those heavy plant machines ended up in the trench, but I wouldn't be surprised.  Now for rounds two and three - Art!

Going -

Gone
     These were only a couple from a few dozen such falling downs, a lot of them involving cranes that suddenly overbalance and fall over, or into rivers, much to the consternation of all involved.  In the comments a crane operator questioned whether any of the people involved were aware of their "load charts" and "fulcrum points", and the answer must be "No" or we'd not have a video.  

     Here's a paragraph I found about cranes and stability, from the California Crane School: "As the upperworks rotates, the leverage of a mobile crane fluctuates. This rotation causes the crane's center of gravity to change and causes the distance between the crane's center of gravity and its tipping axis to also change. Stability can be effected by the fluctuating leverage the crane exerts on the load as it swings. The crane's rated capacity is therefore altered in the load chart to compensate for those changes in leverage."
     

Someone did not read their load chart
     In other words, a crane may be able to lift an object vertically, but not to traverse it horizontally, or not safely.

     Remember this when next you climb onto your crane!

The RSPB was not happy at Conrad's expostulation
   Motley!  Get up into that jib crane cab, and we'll have a jib joust!


An Unapologetic Indulgence In TANK

Those of you not interested in AFVs of the Second Unpleasantness <gasps in horror that such freaks can exist in a rational world> can skip this bit IF YOU MUST.

     Anyway, there it was on Youtube, The Chieftain (Nick Moran**) giving a short video lecture on tanks of the early war period in North Africa, and he focused initially on those that tend to get overlooked: the Italian ones.  Conrad thinks he'll spread this item out over a few posts, as you might overindulge otherwise.  Art?


The "Carro Veloce CV33"
(This one is in the Balkans, not North Africa)

     As TC says, these things are tiny, and neither he nor I would fit in one.  Their mighty armament consisted of two machine guns mounted side-by-side, egad!

     However, as TC points out, at this point in the conflict if you had these tin cans and your opponent didn't, then they were in trouble, as anti-tank weaponry like the bazooka or Panzerfaust was years into the future.  They were a holdover from the inter-war years and the "Tankette" concept, which you can visualise as a self-propelled machine-gun.  In total the Italians produced 2,500 of them and they went everywhere the Italian army went.  Oddly enough the Teutons, those acquisitive little goblins, don't seem to have lain their hot sweaty hands on them after September 1943, when they had the chance.

One wonders why

Rock Steady

You recall that we were talking about the Eddystone lighthouse as designed and constructed by one Henry Winstanley?  

     It first illuminated the English Channel in 1698, helping to keep ships from the dangerous Eddystone reefs, and to help pay for the construction and upkeep, passing ships had to pay a tax of one penny per ton (cargo?  ship weight?  Who knows!).  There was one slight drawback about the original - it was made of wood.  You may not be up to speed on construction methodology, unlike Your Modest Artisan, so allow me to inform you that wood is nowhere near as robust as stone when building lighthouses.

Typical high summer in the UK
     Enter the Great Storm of 1703 ... this is the fifth worst storm ever in recorded British history, and it swept the Eddystone rocks clean of everything, including the unfortunate Mister Winstanley, who was out there performing maintenance, and the five staff alongside him.
     So the Eddystone reefs were dangerous again.  What's an island nation to do?  Watch this space for the next fascinating installment in Eddystone Rock!


Finally -

Dog Buns, look at the weather out there!  I got up at the unearthly hour of 08:00 today, and the rain has not ceased since then, for six hours.  My intent this afternoon was to hike down to Sodom-On-The-Wold with my bag of MY BEAUTIFUL BOOKS! and hand them over to one of the charity shops.  However, I don't fancy getting wazzed wet through on the walk in and having my books (MY BEAUTIFUL BOOKS!) rendered into a bagful of papier mache <sighs heavily>.  So unless it stops in the next ten minutes, I shall postpone any such noble and selfless sacrifice act until next Friday, which is my day off.

Royton High Street


     And with that we are done!

It's not just me, is it?

**  Impeccable AFV chops, having been a tank commander himself.

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