This Is By Way Of A Notification
Your Humble Scribe has today finished reading the novel named in today's title. Or, perhaps I should clarify: I have just finished reading "Nostradamus Ate My Hamster".
More Frank Kelly Freas, just because
I read "Dr. No" ages ago and still give a horrified laugh at how the evil doctor of the title gets his come-uppance -
Compared to the novel, the film termination is positively clinical. Nope, not going to go into any more details than that. NAMH features neither Nostradamus nor hamster, though being Robert Rankin it does have sprouts, and Brentford. 
"Frying tonight!" Surprise! Not in the book. At all.
The novel was a quick read and doesn't involve tortured protagonists with character flaws agonising over their inner demons (Stephen King, looking at you and the Overlook Hotel).
So, what can Conrad pick to read now? I hear you ask. Well, I've gone through the - what's that? You didn't ask anything? O. Someone did <checks under bed, behind curtains and in wardrobe> hmmmmm a body, a ventriloquist's dummy and a skeleton - nothing out of the ordinary. Art!
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| A very bleak house |
Back To Greece And A Tumult In The Clouds
On 28/10/2020 we referred to a Greek national commemorative event, "Ochi Day", where the Italians were told where to go by the Greek Prime Minister, after they had demanded free passage into and through Greece.
Greek border customs agents welcome the foreign tourists
Before this occurred what happened was pretty predictable, up to a point, if you knew how the Axis dictators behaved. The Italians bombed various Greek ships whilst denying all knowledge of what was happening, with the Greek government pretending that it didn't know what was going on either, as they tried to mobilise without actually admitting it or letting it slip to the Italians. Well done Italians! for the Greek people were not fooled at all by these prevarications; indeed, a fractious and politically-divided nation immediately rallied round the flag. Art?
The crunch came in October 1940, when the Italians invaded Greece from Albania. They had a much larger and better-equipped and armed army than the Greeks, with an air force that completely eclipsed the Hellenic one, not to mention a far larger and more modern navy. They should have rolled over the gallant defenders -
However - and you must have known that was coming - the Greeks fought back bitterly, operative word here being "bitter" as this was winter warfare conducted in mountains. Local knowledge, raw courage and being familiar with snow at height neutralised the Italian's military advantages. In fact, the Greeks (perhaps we should be writing "The Grrrrreeks"?) actually pushed their detested opponents back into Albania. Art?
I bet you never knew all these shenanigans went on over in the Balkans at this time, did you? And we're not done yet!
What happens when you push Greek hospitality too far
O alright. Dr. No is simultaneously crushed and suffocated when Our James gets to the controls of a cargo derrick and drops a ton of bird droppings on the bad guy, that was being quarried and loaded onto ships to make money (apprentice world dictators need deep pockets, you know). The evil villain probably had enough time to chortle at the irony of being killed by bird droppings, better known as "GuaNo". Heh.
It will, indeed, be a good year for the roses.
Wolf Rock
No! Not some dodgy Eighties South Canadian hideous hybrid television show, about cops who are werewolves and who break into song four times per program.
Here an aside. There really was a cop show where they did, indeed, break out into song and dance, and it was called "Cop Rock". Conrad is also certain he's read about another cop show where they were all werewolves, but cannot find confirmation of it on teh interwebz and is reluctant to dig through endless copies of "Starburst" to find the article.
We have a bit of ambiguity about this post, since Your Humble Scribe acquired a bottle of beer about six weeks ago for this very reason. Art?A brief moment of still, silent sanity
And as Your Modest Artisan also hoped, there just so happens to be a lighthouse perched upon the Wolf Rock, out between Land's End and the Scilly Isles. Yes, I know we've still not gone into the Fourth Eddystone Rocks Lighthouse but who has ever accused BOOJUM! of being linear, logical or sensible**?
The rock made a howling sound when winds passed over it, prior to the installation of a lighthouse, which makes Conrad wonder when wolves were wiped out in this Sceptred Isle, as how else would one know what kind of noise they made?
<one quick Google later>
Hmmm, it looks like the end of the seventeenth century, so we can allow that people sailing past the Wolf Rock would really have been able to compare the two. I'm so glad we got that out of the way!
We don't have time to go into the whole story of the Wolf Rock Light, as there is quite a preamble to the tower's erection. Check back at a later date - yes, yes, yes, after we've finished the story of the Eddystone Lighthouse <sighs at your pedantry>.
Finally -
I did find a web article that boxed in the outlines of how to create a Codeword puzzle, which is best done on graph paper, they say. There were instructions on how to work out which words to include so you got all 26 letters of the alphabet, and pencilling in a layout, but the one thing they omitted is the most important one: how do you know which letters to give as clues? HOW, I ASK YOU!
I think I'm very cross as this omission though I'll give it twenty-four hours to make sure whether that's a yes or no.
Is Conrad angry or not? Okay, first we must compare this to Schrodinger's Cat ...
DONE!
* In reality more like two thousand, I just don't like to dishearten folks.
** Vigdis Finsbogadottir did, but she doesn't count, as she's Icelandic
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