Like A Bolt From The Brown

No!  I Did Not Mis-Type "Blue"
Come on, when does this blog ever make a grammatical or spelling error?  Yes yes yes, there was that time in October 2017 when I put three spaces after a full stop, which I knew would come back and haunt me -
     Okay, so the usual phrase is "Like a bolt from the blue", because one has to imagine a lightning bolt coming from clear blue skies, which of course cannot happen.

No, Art, not that kind of Lightning.

     That plane was basically two giant engines with a cockpit strapped on and a couple of missiles dangling beneath it - 
     Which has nothing to do with crossbows.  Art!

Pointy end at the bad guys, okay?

     I believe the sharp thing propelled at high speed from a crossbow is known as a "Bolt" and why that chap has a coat of deepest blue, so - am I reaching a bit there?
     You may not know it, but the crossbow was seen as being a far easier weapon for troops to use than a longbow.  Yes it was a lot more complicated than a five-foot wooden bow, but your average peasant levy could aim and loose a bolt with little training.  It took years of practice to develop the upper body strength to use a longbow, and a good archer with a longbow could easily outshoot a cranking, sweating, straining crossbowman by a factor of up to 5.  Loosing a bolt whilst dressed in your stylish blue tabard would be pretty difficult whilst doing an impression of a pincushion.  Art?

Plus you had to be a giant to use a crossbow
(I think)

     Of course none of this has anything to do with what I really meant to talk about, which is another brand of beer in a bottle, and - actually there is much mention of crossbows, including small hand-crossbows, in the Strugatsky Brothers "Hard To Be A God", you know -
     Sorry, the beer.  Art!

NO!  BEER!

     There, you understand where the "Brown" comes from now?  And that has to be the most unexciting meaning possible for "Bolt".  O the romance and charm and wonder of being a bolt-maker! - nope, just doesn't work, does it?
     Although, in "Roadside Picnic" (yes another Strugatsky work) our stalker hero uses bits of cloth tied to a solid metal bolt, which he chucks in front of him to pre-empt things like The Mosquito Mange, or the wonderfully-named Spitting Devil's Cabbage.

Sorry, couldn't resist.

     Motley, would you like to try some sauerkraut flavoured with nuclear-strength chili sauce*?     

Blimey!
Conrad sat himself down and did some serious searching for more Official Histories of the War, the war in question being the First Unpleasantness.  It looks as if I've got some outliers to get yet: The War In East Africa, which I've spotted on Abebooks; Persia; Togoland and the Cameroons; Rhineland.  These last three were published in the Eighties and can be found for reasonable prices.  Then there are 6 sets of Appendices, which contain things like order of battle lists and collected staff orders, and which seem to be rather difficult to obtain.  For the completist only.  The one time I saw the appendices and maps for Gallipolli, the vendor wanted £275, which only gets you 11 maps <sad face>.

Yours for only £203!
(But only charging £15 postage from Canada)

     Well, that was a way to make an hour pass quickly!

I was going to taunt Iron Maiden again, with A Little Musical Critique, but the poor lads have run out of hankies, so I'll wait until tomorrow.  In the meantime -

"Novoselic"
Yesterday I hopefully entertained you with a little exposition about how my brain carries right on working, even when asleep, because that word above popped up into my head and I remembered to write it down on my official works notepad.
     Yes, it is a proper word.  In fact - 

Here he is

     One Krist Novoselic, who used to strum strings and things in Nirvana.
     Conrad doesn't think he has any Nirvana records, and even if he does he's not played them in a decade, so the question arises - why on earth did this name crop up in my mind?

"We Have Ways Of Making You Talk"
You know what I miss?  Having a pint of lemonade with a scoop of ice cream in it.
     Just keeping you informed.  
     Okay, as Jim and Al were excitedly gabbing like schoolboys in their presentation from a month ago (yes I am a little behind), they were going on about the recent showing on television of "A Bridge Too Far", and all the quotable bits and where the producers went to great lengths to get things right and where they slipped up.  Both of them were giddily commenting on the sheer amount of authentic wartime kit that had been lined up, especially for the advance of 30 Corps; Al appears to have coined the Not Sure If It's Safe For Work But I'll Chance It Anyway Term "Gearhorn" for this feeling.  Art?

One million tanks!

     Tanks, self-propelled guns (which are NOT the same thing at all, Vulnavia), Bren Gun Carriers, armoured cars, half tracks, artillery pieces - this gives you a sense of what Jim called "Big War" as it was waged in real life.
     Then they had to spoil it all by using a modern 1970's era Leopard tank instead of a real Tiger tank.  This really irked Jim, he took Richard Attenborough to task over it and I have a feeling there might be a letter to the Times in the offing.  Art?
       
     They also read some pieces from Colonel John Frost's memoir, "A Drop Too Many" which I have in the Book Cavern somewhere and ought to dig out and re-read.  He was very, very uncomfortable with being portrayed in the film and didn't warm to Anthony Hopkins for weeks.

Finally - 
Amid the chaos of both the day and Covid-19 (Hans Zimmer in-joke for you there), Your Humble Scribe is quite enjoying working from home.  Time, before you ask.  Normally, to get in nice and early and hammer out a few hundred words of woeful whumsy - like whimsy but cruder - for an 08:00 start, Conrad will be out of bed for 05:50, having had a shave and shower last thing before bed.  Today, with an 08:00 start, I can leisurely roll out of the clinging futon sheets at 07:00, have a shower and make a substantial breakfast.  That latter the important bit.
     And now, let us commence the nose-grindstone interface!



*  That'll make it's mouth water!