Box Of Andrex For Brian!

May, That Is -
You know, the guitarist in Queen, because Lo! we are back to doing A Little Musical Critique of "Bohemian Rhapsody", which has turned out to be rather a Large Musical Critique because there's so much of it.
     Having lightly skated o'er the verse that might have annoyed some folk, we now come to the bit where Freddie Mercury composed it by opening a Spanish dictionary at random.  To wit:

I see a little silhoutto of a man

The concept of "silhouette" comes from portraiture that was cheaper than a painting

Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?

Actually a character from Italian Commedia dell'arte.  The Fandango is a Spanish dance, and I've no idea why the two are mixed together.

Thunderbolt and lightning, very very frightening me

You great big wuss!  Lightning's only dangerous if you're outside under a tree

Gallileo  Gallileo

Gallileo  Gallileo

What on earth does a Renaissance philosopher have to do with anything?

Gallileo Figaro

And - look, what does an opera have to to with the Renaissance philosopher?

Magnifico

Our opinions on this will have to differ.

     There's a great quote from the band's Roger Taylor on the webpage I used to track these lyrics down: "They said "Bohemian Rhapsody" was too long and wouldn't work. We thought, "Well we could cut it, but it wouldn't make any sense", it doesn't make much sense now and it would make even less sense then; you would miss all the different moods of the song. So we said no. It'll either fly or it won't."
     Well, it definitely flew.  He's not wrong about the sense bit, either.  And notice there's not one word about The Plastic People Of The Universe in there, either.

Roj, Now and Then

     Quickly, Vulnavia, flood the moat and prime the claymore mines, for KILLER EELS aboard steam locomotives are trying to storm The Mansion!

Something Has Gone Badly Right
You ought to know that Conrad gets very shifty and worried if the audience traffic climbs above a certain level, because inevitably some legal counsel for The Metro or First Group will get to read about BOOJUM! and decide an injunction is needed.  Not so much for the past 3 months as I've not had to endure First Group's pubic service, and thus not been exposed to The Fish-and-Chip Wrapper, though there is still almost 7 year's worth of venomous invective backed up.
     So I was a bit edgy when this came up.  Art?

"Pageviews Today: 180"

     It's probably the FSB using a zombie network in South Canada in order to check out why on earth John Bolton is posting such scrivel*.
                  
                                          Conrad                                             John Bolton
     That's another reason to dread getting on a bus in future.

"Countdown" And Copyright
NO! Not the game show.  Although Conrad quite enjoyed it when he watched it.
     No, I refer - obviously! - to the comic that came out in the early Seventies, and which Your Humble Scribe distinctly remembers getting the first edition of.  Art?

Interior art by the excellent Jim Burns

     I noticed this title in an entry on "Down The Tubes", which is a website devoted to comics, and an article about why you don't see reprints of stuff like the above.
     Firstly, there has to be an audience out there.  "Countdown" dates from 1971, and if you were aged 10 then (as was Conrad) then you'd be 59 this year.  For comic strips from the Sixties, add another 10 years to that.  Are there enough people out there with rosy memories of their childhood who'd be willing to purchase a retrospective collection?
     That's just the first hurdle a collection of, say, "Special Agent 21" would have to overcome.  Art?

Nothing at all to do with James Bond in any way at all, ever.  Honestly.

     We shall come back to this, as there's quite a tangled thread to unravel about publishing retro comic books.  And I can tell you're thirsting to know all about it.

Aha!  Found It!
I refer, of course, to entry number 22 on "Rolling Stone"'s list of the 50 best sci-fi television series ever.  Which you will have already guessed from my horribly strained title is - "Lost".  Art?

First season cast

     Conrad loved loved loved the first series, after which he felt it went off the boil rather (our quaint Anglicism that approaches the South Canadian 'jumping the shark'), and he never bothered watching it after Season Three, I think.  Was it that season?  Well, anyway, I never saw how it ended.  There were so many red herrings, a positive shoal of them in fact, that I don't believe it could have tied them all up narratively in a convincing manner, and from what viewers have posted about it, I was right.
     Still, that first series was compelling.  I'd better not reminisce too much or I'll end up watching it again, and I've got stuff to do.

Some other people

Finally -
I'm sorry I didn't explain myself about "Scaramouche" and the illustration provided.  Pretty obviously he's not an Italian stock character from the seventeenth century, strumming a lute.  He is in fact an android assassin from Season 5 of "Samurai Jack", who gets pretty close to defeating our hero, whilst carrying on with a most cavalier vocal style reminiscent of a jazz musician.  Of course justice prevails and he gets - but that would be telling too much.

Also does bar mitzvahs

     And I think with that we are well and done, as I'm hungry and want my tea!



*  Perhaps**.
**  Perhaps not.