Tank You Very Much

NO!  NO THAT IS NOT A TYPO!
<short pause whilst blood pressure falls and the red mist recedes from vision> Ahem.  It is a pun.
     For Yes!  We are back on the subject of the 79th Armoured Division and it's "Funnies", as used in the Second Unpleasantness from D-Day onwards.
     Here an aside.  I am typing this at work in the office - yes, on a Saturday! - which means I'm not going to get home until 19:00 at best, or even later if I get to Oktoberfaust, of which more later, and that you may have to wait until even later than that for this scrivel to get promoted online.  We shall see.  It also means you only get this one post, as it would otherwise mean skiving during work time to create content, and, dammit, Conrad has a work ethic*.

Can you see me waving?

     Your Humble Scribe cordially detests working Saturdays, and constantly exercises his not-inconsiderable intellect into deriving reasons as to why my Coyly Anonymous Employer ought to stop - excuse me - STOP DOING IT.  There, I feel better now, thanks for asking.
     Okay, back to TANK.  At the time, one of Perfidious Albion's armoured divisions would have a couple of hundred armoured vehicles, but the 79th ended up with over seven thousand, which is a lot, though they operated separately rather than all in one big lump.  You may laugh at these quaint improvisations, but the South Canadians would have been better advised to use some of them in addition to their sole adoption of the DD Sherman.
     Take a look at the Churchill AVRE "Double Onion":

BANG, very loudly

     Recall that picture of the Churchill climbing a seawall that I posted yesterday, courtesy of a Churchill Ark?  In the case of a less formidable barrier, Perfidious Albion would wheel in a Double Onion.  Those innocuous-looking boxes on the metal frame?  Demolition charges.  The AVRE would move up to the obstacle, drop the frame upon it and retire to a safe distance, when it would pop the charges, and the obstacle would go away very quickly.
     Talking of speed, meet the Centaur Armoured Bulldozer.  Art?

Not just an armoured bulldozer - a Centaur armoured bulldozer, thank you very much.

     This puppy was based on the chassis of the rather unsuccessful Centaur tank, which if I recall correctly was only used by the Royal Marines in Europe.  The idea was that the Centaur was a cruiser model, less heavily armoured and with bags of oomph, so the ABD version would be able to keep up with the nippy Cromwells as they swanned across France and the Low Countries. 
     That's enough of TANK for one day - don't want to put you off with too much guff and stuff.

BOOJUM! Continues To Review Films
 - in our own inimitable manner, as if anyone else out there would be interesting in adopting a ranting, frothing, dismissive and wildly inaccurate style that veers off wildly in strange directions not on the compass - see?  That's exactly what I meant.
     Ahem.  Let us get as on-track as we ever do here, which is to say, not a lot.
"Knives Out": I saw the trailer at the cinema, which allows me to bang on about it as much as I like, so there.  It is a murder-mystery along the lines of Somebody Is Guilty And Everybody Looks Guilty.  I reckon the butler did it, in the kitchen with a lead pipe.  Also, the background artwork on the posters is redolent of "Game Of Thrones", which this is definitely not, so SACK THE DESIGNER right now, thanks.

See?  See what I mean and am correct about?

"Le Mans 66":  Another cinema trailer, ha har!  Conrad not sure about this one, as it centres on fast cars being speedy, which leaves him rather cold, although they did enliven this one with some cars a-crashing.  I bet that twenty seconds is the only crash bit in the whole film, you know: the art of the crafty trailer-maker in play.  Anyway, it's about Ford (I think) building a car to beat the Farrago team (again, I think) at the Long Mans 24 hour race (I think some more), which sounds rather underwhelming.  But the trailer does have a Ford suit being reduced to a quivering, weeping pudding thanks to some outrageous driving, which is always amusing**.

Oh - "Ferrari" - still, can't be bothered to change it

There was also a trailer for "Gemini Man" which seems a right pile of old rubbish, so I'm not going to bother with it.
"Terminator: Dark Fate": Well of course it is, nobody in their right mind, or even their starboard mind, would expect to see the title as "Terminator: Fluffy Bunnies And Rainbows", would they? 

Happy shiny people?
(You gotta admit, it looks like it's smiling)

     Conrad considers that "Terminator 2" rendered all other sequels null and void, and the only reason the Hollywood suits keep pumping them out is in the inglorious pursuit of £££, for which they should be dipped into that vat of molten metal we see at the end of the above.  Okay, okay, not whole body immersion.  Their knees downward? From the ankles down?  Their toes?  Not even their toes?  You're no fun.
     Bah!
     (I realise I've not actually reviewed the film.  So what.  It's my blog and I'll omit what I feel like).


Finally -
I see that the film "Abominable" has managed to create an enormous amount of fuss, not for being predictable tat dressed up in expensive animation, but for a fleeting shot of a map on a wall.  Art?

Note the dotted yellow line

     This, it seems, is the Populous Dictatorship's desired line in the sand, where they claim their territory extends to.  Of course, claiming a thing is not the same as actually having it, and this alleged dotted line is heartily disputed by Vietnam, Japan, the Phillipines and others, and having it rubbed into your visual cortex by virtue of cartoon has, predictably, enraged these countries.
     Tee hee!




*  Not much of one, but it's there.
**  I know, I know, I'm a terrible person.