A Magazine Or Two

No!  We Are Not Referring To "Cosmo" Et Al
It may surprise you that the glossy colour publication which you hold in your hands has a history that goes back to the quartermasters of the seventeenth century.
     In those days, however, they were not trying to work out who had betrayed them unto the Church Rampant, rather they were trying to accumulate supplies for their troops.  Said stores were called a "Magazine"; you may have read in some maritime novels concerning the Royal Navy of "powder magazines" (see anything concerning Captain Horatio Hornblower).

One such on land

     Let us jump forward several hundred years, to the point that Hom. Sap. is being unpleasant to each other with guns during the Second Unpleasantness, and -
     We are back to picking holes in "Where Eagles Dare"!
     Yes, we did kind of sneak that one in there, as I worried you might have gotten fed up of this incessant sniping.  Not me!
     Anyway, Art?

Dog Buns!

     I can't find an illustrative photo, and I'm typing this at work so even the desperate expedient of running the DVD and taking a photo isn't possible.  What I wanted to point out is a common Hollywood misconception, where half the Teuton soldiers we see are carrying MP40 sub-machine guns.
     Here an aside.  Art?

A Maschinen-Pistole 40

     You see that little lug projecting underneath the barrel and back from the muzzle?  With typical Teuton thoroughness this is for when you are firing from inside a vehicle; you stick this outside the firing slot and it prevents you from accidentally dislodging the barrel backwards and shooting everybody inside dead.      Anyway, again, these things have a magazine, too, that being the long thin bit of metal sticking out beneath the barrel, which holds all the bullets.  There you go, a tenuous link to today's title.
     Anyway still further, these things were not issued wholesale to complete units; they were issued to NCOs and officers, so about one man in five at most; also to vehicle crewmen since they were a lot more compact than a rifle.


An example

      And, since I have to attribute the above:
     By Bundesarchiv, Bild 101I-133-0703-01 / Zermin / CC-BY-SA 3.0, CC BY-SA 3.0 de, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=5475985      Conrad - 3; Where Eagles Dare - 0      I think we'll probably halt the merciless critical shoeing of this film, as otherwise we risk the wrath of Clint Eastwood.
     Come on, motley, last one in the ocean's a rotten egg*!

"AUSTER"
Another Cryptic Crossword rant.  Go on, admit it, you love hearing an angry old man ranting inventively, and even if you don't, it aint gonna stop.
     Of course I've binned the newspaper, but the clue did mention "Rust" and there must have been other bits that included "A" and "E", and about spirits and wind.
     Now, Roman mythology is where you need to seek the answer for this, as, apparently, "Auster" was a heavenly being that represented the scirrocco winds that blew from south of Italy across the Mediterranean.

Auster

     All clear?
     Go on, admit it, you've never heard of "Auster" before.  Your Humble Scribe, of course, got the answer even if he wasn't absolutely how he got there.  Art?

Behold!

     This is the Auster observation aircraft, as used by the armed forces of Perfidious Albion and Commonwealth during the Second Unpleasantness, which is where my knowledge of same helped solve the crossword clue.  As you can see, it is a very lightweight piece of kit and was completely unarmed, unless you count a couple of revolvers the crew carried.  Despite this, the Teutons loathed it above all other aircraft, with the possible exception of massed strategic bombers; if one of these came buzzing over the front, everything Teuton would either hide or freeze or both.  The reason why an unarmed aircraft caused such fear and loathing?
     It was used as a flying observation post by artillery officers, who would be in radio communication with their gun batteries, and it they spotted anything - absolutely anything - they would call down a perfect maelstrom of shells on the hapless target.

A Canuckistanian version

     Just FYI, James "Scotty" Doohan the actor, before he was an actor, was a Canuckistanian artillery officer, who was renowned as being a batpoop-crazy AOP officer who would pull off the most dangerous airborne stunts, because he could  - but that's another story.

"The Ghost Of Saint Michael's"
Lee, the work colleague fortunate enough to sit opposite me, mentioned that he was channel-hopping with his kids, who are (I think) 11 and 7, and they came across the film above, which he mentioned to me.
     Of course, being children of today - perhaps I should capitalise that - Children Of Today - they weren't remotely interested in a black and white film, so they moved on.
     From Lee's brief description, Conrad felt a tug of remembrance.  Was there a scene where our heroes are trapped in a room where the ceiling is slowly descending?

CAUTION!  Black and white can disappoint after a colour cover or poster

     I checked on teh interwebz, and yes, there is, though I can't find a photograph of same and would have to watch the whole film to get a picture for you out there.  The film is a Will Hay one, which is recommendation enough, and I would urge you to watch it if it ever appears on the television screen.

Will, with a "lived-in" kind of face

    In fact, now that my memory of having seen it many decades ago has resurfaced, I might need to revisit it, and "The Goose Steps Out", another classic I've not yet seen.

Finally -
This will all make sense on Facebook, honestly.  Okay, Art, bring on the charging horses!


     These are the Royal Scots Greys, depicting charging at Waterloo with their battle cry f "Scotland forever!" and, unless you were suicidally brave, I don't think you'd hang around to debate Caledonia's being around for a long long time.

There we go, past the Compositional Ton, which means I am now free to go eat my lunch.  You see?  You see!  The sacrifices I make to provide words of wit, wisdom and wonder?  Is anyone even paying attention?  Hello?

*  But dry and warm.