The Curse Of Worse

I Swear -
Ha!  What hilarious irony, for your humble scribe is known for not swearing, or at least not in any form recognisable to Hom. Sap. here in the Allotment of Eden.
     This post begins because a member over on The Flop House has posted another person's post, which was waxing wrathfully about scriptwriters.  You know, scriptwriters, the lowest form of life in Hollywood, but without whom nothing would get done.

Holyrood.  Close enough.

     That first poster was venting a tad about swearing and cursing in contemporary films and television programs, alleging that it distracts from the plot and drama and is merely a cheap way of padding out a screenplay, to make it 'real'. 
     They have a point.  Eric Sykes, old-school comedian of considerable vintage, stated that, when writing his series "Sykes" (funny if a little lacking in title ambition), he avoided peppering the script with "bloodys" in order to earn a cheap laugh.

Eric.  We salute you, sir!

     Which brings us round to the editorial team here at BOOJUM!  We have an Official Swear, that being "Dog Buns" and if we are feeling extra-specially angry then it's "Dog Buns!" - I hope you appreciate the subtle difference there.  As mentioned before, if we ever used the word "bloody" then it was always in connection with oodles of gore, rather than being a mindless exclamation.  Art?

Here, we can say "a bloody mess" and still not be swearing.

     Why, even in real life Conrad avoids common or garden swearing.  If he stubs a toe or steps, bare-footed, on a piece of Lego, his expostulation is going to be "OUCH!" rather than "F****** ****!"*  In the office and amongst the humans his fellow humans, he will hold forth with "Birdsweat!" rather than anything coarse.  There is a phrase in Russian that he has learned, which is astonishingly rude, so we won't go into that any further.
     Now, motley, this angle-grinder has been gimmicked to actually fire the rotating wheel at high - oh, there you go - at high velocity, so I'd recommend you get your running shoes on NOW!

Lethal at 50 yards

     Hmmm.  Today's Cryptic Crossword in The Metro, that rag at the bottom of my bag, is really difficult:  I've only gotten ten clues and am not sure about one of those.
     Not news, exactly, I know, but I thought you might like to know the travails that make up my day.

"Caballistics Inc." by Rennie and Reardon
One of this century's crop of 2000 AD, doncha know, which your humble scribe bought because it looked interesting.

That's Chapter and Verse right there.

     And it is.  Part of the fun is seeing how many sly references R & R worked into it to other science fiction or horror oeuvres:  British Rocket Group, anyone?  Not to include Carnacki and Hodgson - there will doubtless be more, which I may even let you in on.

Struck By The Lightning
Not the forked electrical stuff that staggers down from the skies, which horror film makers always but always add-in to heighten the tension - or, if it's the scriptwriters, then you are being LAZY!** - of a scene.
     No, we are talking about the interceptor aircraft of terrifying acceleration, as flown by the Brylcreem Boys of the RAF.  Art?

NeeeeYOW***

     I was watching a brief Youtube clip of pilot Ian Black, who had extensive experience of flying the Hawk, the Provost and the Phantom.  And the Lightning, which he said was "frightening" to fly - this from a man with over 600 hours flying time before he clambered into a Lightning cockpit.
     He related how critical fuel usage was in the Lightning; as soon as the engine fired up the fuel gauges would start to visibly drop, because this was one thirsty beast of an aircraft.  You taxied down the runway "Dry"; that is, without using afterburners, and all during your flight you kept a wary weather eye on them gauges.  Art?

With over-wing fuel tanks

     Because of the highly-swept wings, it didn't handle anything like previous aircraft he'd flown, which came as an unpleasant surprise, poor chap.  He's still alive today so he must have mastered the Manned Missile eventually.      Those penny-pinching miserly dirty curs at the MOD doubtless hated it with a passion, since it guzzled aviation fuel so prodigiously.  After all, what about intercepting Sinister bombers when you could be saving petrol?
Bears Against Nazism!
I did threaten to witter about Wojtek yesterday and I do like to keep my promises, so here we are.
     Back in the Second Unpleasantness, when Hitler attacked his previously bestest chum Joe Stalin, all the Polish prisoners of war suddenly became allies.  A whole lot of them were sent to the Middle East via Iran, where they encountered a Syrian bear cub, and - all these Slavs are utter wimps when it comes to bears - they took him along with them as a mascot.  Art?

In his cuter days

     He grew up, acquiring a taste for cigarettes (which he ate) and beer (which he drank), and he grew considerably.  Art?

Beer and cigarettes - the only diet!

     The Poles, being both sentimental softies and quite canny, had him promoted to corporal, with duties that included making the world safer, one bottle of beer at a time, and carrying artillery shells.  Being on active service meant they could take him with them wherever they went.  One can imagine some very surprised military policemen en route.  Oh - there's even a logo for Wojtek.  Art?
   
         

     He ended his days in Edinburgh Zoo when the Second Unpleasantness was over, as you can't really have a one-ton bear that only speaks Polish roaming the streets of Hampton Dibney, stealing people's fags and booze.
Finally -
DOG BUNS!  I AM VERY CROSS!  VERY CROSS INDEED!
     Yes, yes, I know Frothing Nitric Ire is my default setting, however I have good cause.  Check out this crossword clue: "Hardly surprising there's no surprise (8)".
     What's the answer?  Oh, I'm so glad you asked -
    "NO WONDER" which you may notice is not one single 8-letter word, but TWO words, of 2- and 6-letters. 
     No wonder I couldn't get the Birdsweating clue!^

Go, Wonder.  Close enough

*  Though he's probably thinking it.
**  That'll teach 'em.  I can hear Hollywood quaking in it's boots right now.
***  Mach 2 represented in written form.
^  Do you see what - O you do.