A Jam Session

So To Speak
Before we really get into the Intro, I shall have to dash off shortly and put the chicken fillets in the oven, which is heating up and baking a couple of potatoes as I type, which of course means I shall have to also dash off and take them out of the oven, as the technology to conveniently teleport them onto a plate does not exist.*

"Shares in First Bus went into a nosedive."

     At which thought First Bus breathes a sigh of relief, as just imagine the consequences of a household teleportation platform.  No more queuing for the bus, or waiting for one, for that matter; no need to risk acquiring all the ills and agues of your fellow passengers as they hack, sneeze, cough, splutter and generally die by inches right behind you.
     <dashes off to put fillets in oven>
     On the other hand, it would mean considerably less scope for the idle work-shy miscreants who perpetually abuse public transport as the excuse for being late to the office.  Nor would you have time to do a Cryptic Crossword, nor even a simple one, nor yet read a book as your component molecules whiz around the ether at the speed of light.  

A book, for the Kindle Generation

     Anyway, that's completely off-topic and - typically - nothing to do with what I really wanted to talk about, which is - Jam.

No, Art.  I did not include the indefinite article, did I?

     Since I am feeling merciful, Art will only be rolled in a pile of fire ants rather than being Tazered.  
     <some time later>
     Shall we try again, Art?

From the BBC wesbite:  "Mouldy jam - should you eat what's beneath?"

     Should you?  Conrad, whom you know has a miserly streak of considerable size, not to mention being greedy and with a sweet tooth, replies YES!
     All you do is scrape off the mould and Hey Pesto! edible jam.  An Expert advises to scrape a bit extra out, to get rid of spores, but Conrad sneers at this.  The reason, you see, as once explained by my uncle in law (a biologist) was that the extremely high sugar content in jam EXPLODES any of the Evil Bugs who try to infest it.  Which is what you'd expect, really, since jam is supposed to be a way of preserving various fruits.
     Go on, you were expecting this to be about a group of musicians having a little improvised knockabout, weren't you?  Oh go on then -

Happy now?

     Time to see which is faster - a rabid wild boar or the motley in running shoes - in a swamp!

My Word!
Once again those Dog Buns! Codeword compilers are stretching it.  Take this solution, for example:  "POLYGYNY" and don't kid me that you knew what it meant. I did have the letter "Y" identified, but put it on hold as a solution because - I mean, 3 times in one word?  It means to have multiple wives simultaneously.
     But hold!  For my indignation is not yet o'er.  Friday's solutions included "CORNU" and "HAUTBOYS".  The first of these isn't even in my Collins Concise and I had to resort to Google to find out what it is.  Art?  O stop whining and put some salve on them!

How do you do, cornu?

     It's a Roman musical instrument.  Seriously?
     Okay, final rant about "HAUTBOYS".  This was in my Collins Concise.  "An obsolete name for an oboe."  Oh, come on - really?

Oh boy oboe

     Bah!

<there will now be a short pause as I eat those chicken fillets> 

Physical Eschatology
Which is a rather posey way of saying "Doomsday".  We did discuss this earlier in the week, with a rather theological take on the concept.  Well well well, what do we find over on that font of all that's fit to be writ?**  Naught but "What are the biggest threats to humanity?"
     You can tell what a terrible person I am by the way I rubbed my long, mis-shapen fingers with glee, before reading.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-47030233

     There above the link, should you feel the urge to depress yourself.  It's too long and complex for me to do a facile 50-word summary or a citric 100-word commentary, so I may come back to it later.  Interestingly, the threat of nuclear war remains exceedingly low at 0.6%, despite the ratcheting of international tensions between the South Canadians and the Ruffians.  Sanity prevails amongst politicians, at least for the moment.

Well ..... amongst some politicians.

     Almost three times more likely is a global pandemic, at 1.5% probability.  This is all the more frightening as micro-organisms do not recognise political borders.  Such an event does have a precedent, as they state: the Spanish Flu epidemic of 1918, which saw off 50 million people, or more than twice the wartime deaths.  So, no, watching Gwinnie choke it in "Contagion" was not a waste of time if you follow her husband's precautions ...

Finally -
Sorry that I cannot add in a photograph - Blogger's hamster engineers are being a pain in the buttocks again about uploading camera content - but I have just resolved the mystery of my missing jigsaw piece.  I had three pieces left, none of which fit the two remaining gaps.  O noes!

Art!  You plonker -

     So, I turned all the pieces over, as they have a pattern on the reverse, and realised a couple of pieces had been put in the wrong place - that took care of two bits, leaving only one.
     "Is it perhaps mixed up with all the other 1,350 pieces?" I pondered, not looking forward to searching for it, and putting this task off.  I tidied up the messy floor of my mancave and - there was the missing piece, where it had fallen pattern side up, thus blending in with the carpet.
     O frabjous day!  Calloo!  Callay! and other Carrollisms.***



*  Yet.
** The BBC website.  Obviously!
***  It's the little things.