Are You Takahe-ing This Seriously?

Probably Not!
I wouldn't blame you, as BOOJUM! is only ever to be taken with a pillar of salt six feet high, given that we are unreliable narrators, when we aren't outright liars.
     Anyway, this post was inspired by an acquaintance, Will, adopting a Takahe bird in order to raise it in the bosom of his family.  No!  It is not being fattened-up for Christmas.  Go and stand in the corner, you dreadful person!  Art?

Spreading it's wings

     This bird, much like the more famous Kiwi, is flightless, and those wings are only present for display.  It was believed to be extinct across New Zealand before one of the Polite Australians discovered a whacking great colony up in the Murchison Mountains -

The Murchisons, with puny human for scale

     As they say, the reason this thriving colony is still thriving is due to the sheer distance separating it from human settlements, which means there are no 1)  Humans 2) Cats  3)  Dogs  4) Red deer  5)  Stoats.  Thus the Kiwi Chicken  is not only surviving, it is thriving!
     I knew you'd be happy on my behalf.
     But stay!  For we are not finished yet.  O no.  The Polite Australian government,  aware that the Kiwi Chicken had been brought low by Hom. Sap. and feeling guilty, has chipped them all, and regularly overflies the colony to see how they are disposed, literally and figuratively.  Thus, when there was a stoat invasion (I'm not making this up!) that threatened the colony, out came the Government with men and guns and an enormous number of stoat-traps; not only that, they established several back-up Kiwi Chicken colonies on offshore islands free from stoat.
               
                                                                Stoats

Stoat trap

     There you go, you can now rest, safe in the knowledge that the Takahe's future is bright and assured.
     Motley!  Don this wet suit before we hurl you into the pool!*

An Egregious Un-effulgent Susurration*
You see, Codeword?  You see who else can muck around with language?  Ha!
     My latest rant at the MEN's Codeword is because they put in "KAVA" as a solution, when I'd reckoned it had to be "JAVA".  I mean, we've all heard of Java, the island, closely associated with Krakatoa, correct?
     What on earth, not to mention the actual flip, is this Kava when it's at home?  Or even next door at the neighbours borrowing a cup of sugar?
     One bout of Google-fu later, we have this -
                                      

     It's a South Pacific root that is used to make a variety of tea, which apparently zonks you out.  First time I've ever heard of it, matey!
     Also, I think using "SQUIDGY" shows a shockingly disrespectful attitude towards the English language as she is wrote.  Nice going with "STYPTIC", though.

"Rhapsody"
No!  Nothing to do with either the song or that film.  It was a crossword clue this morning and, inevitably, your humble scribe simply had to know the word's derivation.  You know what Conrad is like when it comes to languages.*** I guessed it would be Greek -
     And I was right.  It comes from the word "Rhapsoidos" or one who recites epic poetry, and it did not make the transition to music until the 18th Century.  By then it had come to mean a musical work that was a bit overblown; Continental, doncha know.  Of course, now it's associated with That Song.
     Oh, go on then -

There.  Happy now?

Hard To Bear
You know how the Ruffians like to project an air of being rock-hard and villainous?
     Well, the image has cracked a little.  Let us introduce you to Mansur, an orphaned bear cub from the depths of the forest.  Art?

Appealing little chap, ain't he?

     He was found by Russian pilots, roaming hungrily around their airfield.  Now, the conventional narrative would have these pilots shout "Quick! Dinner is getting away!" shoot him and turn him into a pair of boots and a kebab.
     In fact the big fat softies adopted him, and he has grown considerably, since they fed him and everything.  Art?

Considerably.

     A crowdfunding campaign is now underway to have Mansur be kept in his own giant enclosure, with a swimming pool) since he has been in contact with Hom. Sap. so long and so regularly that he'd not survive back in the wild.
     What is it with Slavic softies and bears?  I may tell you the poignant tale of Wojtek, the Polish-Syrian bear in the future.

Finally -
Because you can never have too much TANK - and this is not debatable - here's a rather odd-looking critter.  Art?

From the side

     To put it into perspective -

Rear-angled

     This particular beast is the Christie Amphibious Tank, or so it claims to be, because to Conrad's perceptive optical system (which you Hom. Sap. call "eyes") it lacks quite a few TANK characteristics.  For one thing, it is open-topped, which means if the freeboard is quite low, and it was -

Add caption

     - then it becomes the world's first Christie Submarine Tank.  Also, since the TANK is supposed to protect the squashy human contents, it's not going to do even that if it's open to the elements.  Heck, it won't even keep the rain off.
     And it lacks a turret!
     Really, Mister Christie, you should be ashamed of yourself!


*  It's been filled with capsaicin - you know, the stuff that makes chillis hot.
** It means I'm very cross
***  Devious, untrustworthy and scheming - as he is in pretty much all other things, too.