BOOJUM!: Your Hair-Splitting Pedant Is Here!

Monday, 23 July 2018

Your Hair-Splitting Pedant Is Here!

That's Me, For The Newly-Arrived
It might have been appropriate to have added "white-haired" to that, because that's me; in a black tee-shirt I resemble a human Guiness.

Hair-splitting pedant is - suspicious

This one is going to take bit of getting there, so I hope you're comfy; I am - for the first time in ages I haven't done any work in preparing this blog over lunchtime or before starting work, and am now reclining on my bed whilst typing.
Okay, cast your mind back a few weeks to Michael Newton's work on weapons, a reference guide for writers: "Armed and Dangerous" wherein he provides a few examples of Writers Getting It Wrong. Well well Kelvin Gosnell, what do we have here? My recent purchase "Meddling Kids", which Art can - Art! Put down that plate of coal and get working!

Funny and frightening

On Page 319 Mister Cantero (the author - it's there on the book above) describes our heroes as arming themselves with two "pump action assault rifles".
NO! WRONG! VERY WRONG!!* Of course this doesn't detract from the novel's climax, it just caught my eye, because a pump-action weapon is a shotgun. Art?

Thus

Once you have fired a round, you pump that wooden forestock back and forth, and that puts another round into the breech. An assault rifle in this instance would be an automatic weapon, probably an M16. Art?

Sic

This puppy, if on full automatic, will spray bullets around the landscape until the magazine is empty, which won't take long.
Anyway, I hope you see my point about exactitude: two completely different types of weapons.
Being Still More Pedantic
In the past your humble scribe has explained the importance of correct punctuation and grammar, the latter being very ironic as I've got no idea what the rules of grammar actually are. My facility with it comes from reading several hundred books per year, and having written formally and creatively for decades. Take the humble hyphen, which can transform the most innocent of activities into pant-wettingly terrifying ones - if misused. Art?

CAUTION! Do not try this at home.
(Do not try it ANYWHERE!)

You see, a man eating spider is either doing it for a dare, curious or on the edge of dying from hunger. I believe they have a nutty flavour, which is as close as I care to get to the subject matter. Enter the hyphen. Art?

Behold - the Man-eating Spider!
(Okay, so it's a woman - you try finding the right picture)

Nightmare fuel.
I Have Some News - Of Krasnaboos
If you remember, these are the people who gush unrestrainedly about anything military that the Sinisters or the Ruffians made or make. "Oooh! Oooh! It's a tank made out of custard and jelly! See how much superior it is to decadent Western tanks made out of metal and plastic!" is their level.
Well, here is a barmy Sinister concept that actually worked - the Antonov A-40 flying tank. Art?

Wheee!

This was in reality a glider, towed into the air by another, powered, aircraft. The single test flight ended early when the tow aircraft had to sever the towline or risk crashing; the tank glided to a nice smooth landing, the driver started the engine and drove it back to base. The problem was a lack of towing aircraft with sufficient power; of course the Sinisters could have asked to borrow some Allied ones, but, being Sinisters, they would rather have drunk poison whilst being threshed alive by a combine harvester.**

"Starlight" By Mark Millar And Goran Parlov
I have had a second pass at this comic book, as is my wont, and thoroughly enjoyed it. I can blame Brian M. Bendis for piquing my interest, as he posted one of the monthly comic covers, which got me curious. Art?

Image result for starlight mark millar covers

Intriguing, ain't it?

I believe my first question was "Why does that chap have white hair?" because -

Go on, do I have to draw you a picture?***

Finally -
Because we still need a few words to get to count, I would like to bring in my Brother. Art?