And don't even begin to think of hokey South Canadian sit-coms that feature talking quadrupeds, for what we have here is something quite a quantum beyond.
Judge Dredd! is what I refer to - of course - and certainly neither "Mister Ed" nor that talking mule Francis I'll have you know.
Doing that article about Elvis the killer car got me musing on other Judge Dredd characters, and one that I liked above all others was - Henry Ford the talking horse. Art?
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| A horse with wit. And big sharp teeth |
Henry might not look very beautiful, but he's all there and a bit extra: he clearly has an intellect at least equal to his owner, so he's a talking rational horse. When he has to carry Old Stoneyface over a seething ocean of killer spiders, he rises to the occasion, even though he gets bitten. Being larger than a human being, they put him down but not out. Art?
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Artwork, incidentally, by the incomparable Ron Smith.
I don't recall Henry cropping up in any later stories, which is a shame, as he was a splendid comic foil.* Okay, time to wrap the motley in foil and put it in a very large oven!**
More Of Krasnaboos
These, if you remember, are those fanboys who automatically assume that, if it's Ruffian/Sinister in origin, it's Wonderful, that the Red Army never made a mistake and <cont. Page 94> beetroot soup.
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| Sinister in it's redness! |
The Krasnaboos - and the Sinisters and Ruffians both - don't like to be reminded that the Sinisters helped the Teutons invade Poland in 1939, besides helping themselves to the Baltic states and a slice of Romania. That, guys, is no way to make friends. One of the daftest bits of Krasnabooism I ever witnessed was one such person loudly declaiming to the world that the Sinisters had practically won the war by December 1941. He made this assertion because then he could completely ignore all the aid supplied to the Sinisters by the Allies.
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| More blinkered than Ol' Henry Ford |
You know, like the 2,000 locomotives that the South Canadians sent over, minor items like that.
I dunno. Some people!
The Fairey Battle
I mentioned this in passing yesterday and No! It is nothing to do with War Between The Pixies (Enid Blyton's unpublished last novel). Fairey were an aeronautical manufacturer, which is a posey way to say they made planes. They made the obsolete-looking Swordfish, which was actually an incredibly tough piece of kit; the Battle looked a lot more modern but was sadly lacking. Art?
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| A Battle, en route to a - |
It was grossly underpowered and at least 100 m.p.h. slower than the Luftwaffe fighters that fell upon it in shoals. The rear gunner had but a single .303 calibre gun, with limited traverse. There was no armour protection anywhere, nor were the fuel tanks capable of self-sealing. Whilst engaged in the Battle of France, the RAF lost 100 Battles in the space of a week, failing to even slow the advancing Teuton armies. They were gone from front-line service by September of 1940, and a good thing too. Fairey "Battle"? Fairey "Cattle" would be more appropriate, seeing as what a cow it was.
Next!
This Will Make Sense On Facebook, Honest
Let us now have a look at the South Canadian City of Hipness, also known as Seattle. The city was home to Nirvana, Jimi Hendrix, Alice In Chains and Pearl Jam, amongst others. Art?
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| Seattle |
It's also where Amazon - the trading company, not the river - began, and has a major aeronautical construction industry present in the shape of Boeing. Probably the most famous city landmark is the 'Space Needle', which I believe was featured in the Intro of "Frazier"? Art?
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| The Space Needle. I don't need to point it out, do I?*** |
And with that, we are done! Done - DONE I TELL YOU!
* Please note the absence of horsey puns.
** Don't worry, we turned the oven off. We did turn it off, didn't we?
*** Do you see what - O you do.
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