Wow - It's Nearly Sunny!

There Is Every Danger Of Sunshine Today
     Coming after cold, damp, windy wet Saturday, a bit of sunshine would be very welcome.  From the photographs on Facebook, too little too late for Glastonbury, which once again seems to be exceedingly muddy.  

Remember, they paid £957 each to experience this

Conrad believes he's made a comparison with the Western Front already, i.e. if you get thousands of people all tramping the same routes when it's wet, you get a great big swampy bit of bogland.  Festival-goers at Glasto are spared the shells, gas and bullets, but they do have to contend with Metallica, which our great-grandfathers were spared.

Matter Culinary
     I am afraid that the Greek-style fritters were pretty poor, sticking to the pan and falling apart when turned over.  Having make the batter for them, however, Conrad is damned well going to eat it (when cooked, of course).  Maybe it's a matter of preparation and a non-stick pan is needed?   I shall probably try later on.

Should I post an indiscreet tweet on Twitter about the fritter?

     Much more successful was the White Beans with Pancetta.  Savoury stuff, but a bit thin at the end so Conrad blended some of it and Hay Pesto!  Works a treat.
     I also re-discovered some date-expired Chicken Kievs in the fridge - o happy day!

Done in the slow cooker, a counterpoint to the fritter.

It's Curtains
     A pair of bespoke curtains like these, for the Mansion's vast bay window, would normally set you back hundreds of pounds.  Conrad has to report that Wonder Wifey got them for 99p on e-bay, and they might have been custom-made to go with the settee.  Normally Conrad doesn't bother about anything in the nature of bargains (books excepted) but this is, he feels, an exception to the rule.

Gasp in awe at the wonder of - Curtains!

How Conrad's Mind Works: Another Analogy
     I am unsure if these have any relevance to my mental mind-map but they are amusing to construct, so you will simply have to endure them until I run out of amusing analogies. After that come the unamusing analogies, so bear that in mind.  So far we've had the Exploding Rubbish Dump Model, the White Hole Spontaneous Creation Model, the Over-stocked Kitchen Cupboard Model. 
     Where was I?  Oh yes.  Today I give you the "Tidemark Flotsam Model" as an explanation of why posts end up on BOOJUM!

Messy Mental Metaphore

     Imagine, if you will, a shoreline, that spans from horizon to horizon, with a high water mark.  Unfortunately this is a seriously garbage-ridden ocean we are imagining here - look, there's a Random Thought About Classical Literature, bobbing along in the wake of an Imaginary Country Between Poland And Russia, and just ahead is a giant cluster of Quotes From Forbidden Planet - and this detritus is all going to be cast ashore , deposited at the high water mark and left there when the tide recedes.
     And that's the stuff that gets put into BOOJUM!

The Mysterians
     Conrad puts his eyes where his fingers have been - metaphorically, you dirty-minded rascals!
     Yes, he was banging on about the Japanese 1957 film "The Mysterians" yesterday, and went so far to watch it again.  A film of two halves, really, in the first of which the (to Conrad* anyway) quite scarey giant robot Moguera puts in an appearance.  There's no explanation as to where it came from, although it is clearly linked to the Mysterians - but once again, none of the cast make the connection.  Apparently - it is a dubbed film so who knows what was said in the original.

A bit chubbier than the posters suggest.  The diet starts after Earth has been conquered ...

     The Japanese Self Defence Force gives Moguera quite a blamming, including flamethrowers, and Conrad hopes for the sake of the actor inside the robot suit that those were matte affects, or he probably got first-degree burns; not to mention all the tracer projectiles bouncing off the armour.  In fact this might be the reason Moguera gets an early send-off: "I'm not going to wear that suit again and get scorched and shot!"
     The escalation of weaponry used against the Mysterians is interesting, too.  First, revolvers; then machine guns, recoilless rifles and flamethrowers; then tanks and artillery and airstrikes; then mobile beam projectors; finally an electro-cannon that really settles the Mysterian's hash.

Pretty accurate poster, apart from Moguera the Massive

Goodbye Conrad
     Having been in gainful employment since April 2012, Conrad has not been actively looking for jobs since then.  The Council Jobs website have noticed this - sharp, eh? - and are going to close down my registration with them.
     If you, gentle reader, consider this slothful, please remember Conrad is still waiting for Rochdale NHS Trust to get back to him about that interview and assessment in 2011, a response guaranteed within 48 hours.  Obviously they measure time differently in the NHS to the rest of us.

This equation explains how NHS time differs from yours and mine

Weighty Tomes
     Conrad is sure you, dear audience, have heard that rather cliched phrase "weighty tome" used of an especially heavy book.
     Just out of interest, he decided to weigh two volumes that definitely fall under this heading.  Firstly, "The Third Reich at War" by Robert Evans, which masses at 1529 grams.  Next came "Against The Day" by Thomas Pynchon, rather less massive at 1466 grams**.
     This leads into my progress report about ATD - now up to page 400.  It may interest you to know that Frank's personal crusade catches up with Sloat Fresno; that Frank's anarchist chum echoes Robert Rankin's John Omalley in the multiple uses of potatoes; that "Latifundios" are wealthy owners of vast land tracts; and that "pulque" is an unusual fermented alcoholic drink made from the maguey cactus.

Pulque, not milk.  Put this in your tea, you'll be inebriated alright.

Finally
     I am currently dog-sitting, Edna being in the dog-bed in the Upstairs Lair.  Who stuck his head in through the open door but Beej, and he gave a double-take when he spotted Edna.  Within seconds she was up and at him, Beej beating an undignified retreat to the very topmost kitchen cabinet for sanctuary.  Tee-hee!

"I'm cute and I know it."

* Don't forget, though, that Conrad is both yellow and chicken, and scared of spiders
** I know BOOJUM! doesn't normally hold with this metric nonsense, but the scales were set for grams.