Damn! Just when we were getting used to be continually soaked, too.
Okay - Ray Bradbury. American science fiction author, of a very poetical bent, too. He wrote a short story "All Summer In A Day", set on a Bradbury-esque Venus*, where it rains non-stop all the time and the sun only comes out for two hours every seven years. It even got a television adaptation.
Well, Conrad was going to wax wonderfully with regards to the wet, except it's been a lovely sunny day.
Bah!
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| Manchester: stunt double for Bradbury's Venus |
More Of Rain And Ray
It's over thirty years since I saw it, but Conrad seems to remember that one part of the science fiction film "The Illustrated Man" features a military expedition lost in the wilds of Venus (?) where, again, it rains non-stop.
What's the connection? Ray wrote "The Illustrated Man" and - obviously! - there is a ray gun in the film segment I mention.
Also, the dog trainer was called Frank. Frank WEATHERwax. Coincidence or not? Phil! Phil, we need an opinion!
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| "Aliens are - oh, Ray. Lovely guy. Does a nice seafood Neapolitan, whether you want it or not. Get it? "Whether"?" |
We now, courtesy of Conrad's Mental Time Machine**, travel back to the early Seventies and an ITV drama production that ran for three years, focussing on two Liverpool families during the Second World War.
What? Good lord, no, of course Conrad didn't watch it! It probably clashed with something on BBC that his parents watched. Anyway, what stuck in his rubbish-tip skip of a mind even at that age was an article in the Daily Express about the programme, and the set dresser/props person. The programme was serious drama, you see, and good old Props had to get accurate bits and pieces - including a dozen period-accurate beer bottles for a scene in a bar where an aircraft crew were drinking. They managed, after considerable effort, and Props stated that they wished all the bottles were turned to the camera so viewers could see the labels and realise they were authentic.
And - er - that's it. Except to say that the series gets a very high rating on IMDB - 8.4, so if you come across it, you can do worse than watch it.
| Look! This balloon has just started to explode! |
In a similar time-frame, and once again utilising the Mental Time Machine, let us travel to the last twenty minutes of Friday afternoon at Conrad's primary school, when he was one of a clutch of classmates who had to listen to the teacher read from a chosen book.
| Conrad had to stand in the corner for weeks after requesting this book to be the afternoon read ... |
"The Children From One End Street" was one of these books, probably because it deemed to be a modern classic. It was about, as far as Conrad could be bothered to pay attention, about a large, poverty-stricken working class family in London in the Thirties.
Modern Classic? bah! Conrad hated it! This is a person who is reading "Biggles" and Andre Norton and "Who Goes There?"** and Sherlock Holmes so excuse me if the ravingly-dull exploits of The Family From One End Street provoke an zzzzzz irresistible desire zzzzzzzzzzzz to fall zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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| I know it's not the same, but - damn it, it *feels* the same |
"Conceal, Create, Confuse"
No! not the mission statement of Dustbin Beaver's management. A work about the British using deception on the battlefield in World War One. As you surely know by now, gentle reader, Conrad has a Keen interest/unhealthy obsession/morbid monomania*** about the Great War and the British contribution thereto.
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| Well, he conceals, creates and most definitely confuses. Also does bar mitvahs and hen parties. |
There used to be a phrase used of Britain in the Nineteenth Century - "Perfidious Albion" - which also used to be a fanzine written by a wargaming pundit whose name now escapes my calcified memory, but I will endeavour to discover it - because the British were seen as especially sly, scheming, treacherous and duplicitous. This is a fantastic compliment coming as it did from European nations whose ancestors included Machiavelli, the Borgias, Cardinal Richelieu and that arrogant bloater Hindenburg.
Anyway, reading "CCC" and how the British ensured their attack at Amiens in 1918 remained secret causes Conrad to reflect that, yes, Albion can indeed be very very Perfidious. In a good way!
That's Quite Enough Of That!
The "that" in question being a bus poster.
"But Conrad!" I hear you cry (cybernetically-enhanced hearing, before you ask) "You batten upon bus posters for the blog! How - how can this be?"
Well, the bus poster in question had an advert for "Frankenstein" - informing you the reader that "After 200 years he's still alive", with a date of 29th January 2014. Eh what say what? After 200 days that poster's not been removed, matey!
Is this maintenance staff at the depot having a laugh, seeing how long they can leave a poster on the 164 before the public notices? Or are the studios still shelling out for tax reasons?
| Frankenfurter. Close enough. Also, see above photo and caption |
* That is, a Venus of clouds and rain and water, not the real thing, where you would be crushed, dissolved and roasted instantaneously
** Yes, Conrad is well aware how ambiguous this sounds
*** Delete where applicable
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