Not as many photographs as last night, but you're not getting away with an edited display, oh dearie me no.
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| A bit of a shock to turn the corner and run into this |
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| It looked like bronze but Sally informs it's only bronze paper - the artist is never in so wouldn't get access to real metal |
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| An amusing display and an explanation why machines made of apple will not work. For long, anyway |
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| Difficult to get the sense of depth here; almost like one of Conrad's 1/300 wargame terrain pieces |
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| An adjunct to the above |
This is more strictly practical than anything above and will not make Wonder Wifey famous - unless anyone from the Royal Academy is reading?
A simple idea, well-executed, has turned the drab Bit Beside into a suntrap with artistic pretensions.
Well done Wonder Wifey (with moral support and paws for thought from Edna Wunderhund)
Legerdemain
No longer willing to jump to hasty interpretations, Conrad presents this word.
Is it a classic horse race run in the last week at Aintree?
Could it be a species of viper found in the forests of the Congo?
Was it the ancestral seat of the Comte de Champignon, in the Auvergne?
None of the above! It is French, and literally applies to "skillful use of the hands when doing magic tricks". More generally it is used to mean deception or trickery -
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| - like this! |
Yes they do count as art, especially if they're European with subtitles. Score extra snob points if they're in black and white. If it's an animation, have an extra helping of film snob. If it's a European animated film in black and white that makes no sense whatsoever, then you're watching Jan Svankmajer and serves you right.
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| Jan's finest moment of existential bleakness - no, hang on - |
"How To Train Your Dragon 2"
Conrad used to deal with training, trainees, training providers, apprenticeships, NVQs and all sorts of arcane associated impedimenta*. Thus he is seriously concerned about this film. Why is the dragon not fully trained after the first film? Has there been a shortfall in the assessment and auditing standards that dragon training-inspectors use? Or, more likely, has the government of the day changed the rules about training provision again, based on calculations done on the back of a beer mat with lipstick? Is the local council (or would it be a wizengamot?) playing politics and saving money by underfunding the training providers?
Enquiring minds want to know!
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| Dragon. Close enough |
"Tarzan in 2D or 3D"
Grinding his teeth in barely-suppressed rage, meaning a visit to the dentist loom ever nearer, Conrad sizzled with venom at the vapid posters featuring characters designed by Hollywood committees that tried to pretend this was a film worth ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- oh no! I fell asleep thinking about this film. Damn. That's thirty minutes I'll never get back.
2D? 3D? How about ZeroD!
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| Tarzipan. Easily confused. |
Somewhat archly, Mr Gossett is down on IMDB as "Louis Gossett Junior". Given that he is 78, Conrad doubts that Mr Gossett Senior is still around to confuse audiences.
Anyway, up popped a thought in Conrad's mind yesterday, recalling a film where Lou played a Postal Inspector, called, aptly enough, "The Inspectors", which I have never seen but recalled the reviewer having high regard for. And no! it's not about investigating if someone is boiling stamps off envelopes and re-using them, or sending raw meat through the postal system, or if posties are getting their ankles bitten too much in a particular neighbourhood - it's about investigating the murder of a couple killed by a parcel bomb. Yes, that caught you out, didn't it?
Anyway, checking on IMDB reveals that Lou is still much in demand, and has been since his debut on the stage in 1953. He's been acting in films and television since 1957 - coincidentally for 57 years. That, ladies and gentlemen, is some innings.
I know you expected some hideous revelation about Mr Gossett, guaranteed to shatter any fond regards you ever had for him and besmirch his character down into the lower circles of Hades** - well, Ha! foolish humans. None of that here.
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| Not bad for 178, eh? |
HERE ENDETH THE FILM STUFF
Hmmm. A bit of space to fill. I know!
Little Miss Muffett As Validated, Audited, Approved And Okayed By EdXL
I know, I know, it's already been done by other people. And we are treading dangerously close to the long, mis-shapen toes of contemporary issues.
It's my blog and I'll post what I want!
"Little Miss Muffet"
EdXL: we will let this pass, but must inform readers that height is a potentially discriminatory issue and "little" should only ever mean stature not importance
"Sat on a tuffet"
EdXL: what is this "tuffet" of which you speak? It does not sound like a Health and Safety approved seating design. Has it been sourced from sustainable office equipment providers?
"Eating her curds and whey"
EdXL: This we have to challenge! Miss Muffet might be lactose-intolerant and by any measures this school dinner doesn't provide any of her 5 a day.
"Along came a spider"
EdXL: Er, we have to officially promote the line that "spiders are our friends", even if we agree they are horrid creepy bimbling nasties.
"Which sat down beside her"
EdXL: We're not entomologists nor arachnologists, but even we realise that spiders do not "sit" in any sense of the word. This needs professional revision.
"And frightened Miss Muffett away."
EdXL: Really! All she had to do was
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| Spiders are horrid, Miss Muffet is boring, so here's William Shatner as Alexander the Great |
* Mister Hand translates: "stuff"
** Alongside Tantalus. You know, from the earlier blog. You did read about it, didn't you?
*** See! I got "art" in there!
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