O Ineluctable BOOJUM!

"Ineluctable"
     Now, pay attention, dear audience, as Conrad informs you what this unusual word means - all part of BOOJUM!s intention to educate you.
     I'm sure your science background renders you familiar with sapphire.  An ounce of sapphire can be drawn out into a wire so thin that it will go round the globe*.  Well, "Ineluctable" is obviously - obviously! - the exact opposite of that.  You can't draw out an ounce** of anything ineluctable, not one inch** - it will sullenly sit there, feeling unloved and unamused and if too much pressure is applied - BANG! it shatters apart, because Ineluctable is also friable.  Thus is BOOJUM! - stern, implacable and resolute.
     What's that?
     It's not?
     It means "inevitable"?
     Hmmm.  Well, that works as well, doesn't it? You rascals get a dose of bloggery whether you want it or not.
     Win Win all round!

Herbs
     Wonder Wifey declared that she was returning from Jane's with herbs.
     Lest any officer of the law be reading this (Pete Jones doesn't count as he's nearly retired) Conrad hastens to assure them that these are entirely legitimate herbs from a herb garden and he can prove it:

Blue Bin
     
     The Mansions have a big blue plastic bin, 
     The better to put paper in.  
     Conrad can now be lookin'
     At the gay array outside the kitchen.

 - leading his whimsical fancy to wonder what the lifetime of a bin is?  Will we have to apply for a yellow bin to recycle the other bins in?  And when the yellow bin expires, would that need a pink one? - and so on down the centuries.

Blue fin.  Close enough

"The Unpleasantness At The Bellona Club" Applies The Coincidence Hammer - Again
     Paladin
     Another of those words that pop up in Conrad's mind.  Looking this up, Conrad discovers another little connection with the above novel: "Paladins" were Charlemagne's knights, chaps like - Oliver and Roland, both named in the above novel and whom Conrad blogged about earlier this week.  French medieval knights, honestly, you never read about 'em for years and then two come along in a week ...
     Mr Munns
     The husband of landlady Mrs Munns, a rather dissolute character.  After finishing the novel on the bus, only a couple of hours later Conrad is squinting ferociously at a spreadsheet and what does he espy straight away?  Yes, "Mr Munns".
     I dunno.  Philip K Dick would probably have an explanation for it.

"Yes, Conrad.  Humans are conspiring to manipulate your alien reality.  It's the only reasonable explanation"

Brownies
     No!  Not the small girls in a uniform: "I'm just going to check on the brownies in the oven" would then have horrific implications ...
     Conrad left you last night as he went to check on the baking of Chocolate Brownies (Gluten Free), and they turned out fine.  Wonder Wifey was quite pleased*** at the sight when she came back home.
     And here they are, gentle reader:

What?  You were expecting to see a troop of Roast Brownies?  Away with you, you cur!

Ditto
     Another curious word, which the word processor may be causing to die out.  Why ever so, you ask?
     Derived from the Latin "Dictus", which means "Said", "Ditto" used to be used beneath a previous statement or mathematical entry, meaning it needed to be repeated, thus:

"As of the 21st Inst. 6 Cwt of coal to be forwarded to 2nd Bttn. Royal Welch Fusiliers"

     As of the 28th inst.                                     Ditto
     As of the 5th Inst.                                       Ditto"

Nowadays, you simply copy and paste with Word.  So remember Ditto for it may not be long dittoed.

Another curious word, which the word processor may be causing to die out.  Why ever so, you ask?

     Derived from the Latin "Dictus", which means "Said", "Ditto" used to be used beneath a previous statement or mathematical entry, meaning it needed to be repeated, thus:

"As of the 21st Inst. 6 Cwt of coal to be forwarded to 2nd Bttn. Royal Welch Fusiliers"

     As of the 28th inst.                                     Ditto

     As of the 5th Inst.                                       Ditto"

Nowadays, you simply copy and paste with Word.  So remember Ditto for it may not be long dittoed.

Do you see what I did there?  Ditto?  It means -  O you did.

Not Good Copy
     Dear advertising agency, as Conrad stood idly by this morning, slack of jaw and empty of mind (well it was very early), he spotted an advert on a bus for "Feroglobin", which he's blogged about before.  Some kind of iron supplement that you probably don't need if you drink a couple of litres big bottles** of Irn Bru every week.  As the bus drove off into the distance - after all, why would it ever swim off? - all Conrad could see was the title "Feroglobin", and the words "tiredness" and "Fatigue".


     There was a lot of small print, which you can't read since buses whiz by at speeds in excess of twenty miles per hour**, so the lasting impression, I'm afraid, is that you guzzle (snort?  smoke? inject?) Feroglobin if you want to render yourself limp as cold spaghetti discards and as bored as tables of Pi to a million places.
     Mind you, there is a market for that.  Idle skivers who want time off from work ...

Iron and board.  Close enough

Voices In The Head vs. Words In The Mind
     Conrad only occasionally gets the first, usually when he gets too close to the radio station transmission towers, but the latter!  Dog Buns!  At random intervals a perfectly random word will pop into his mind, like - like - Mister Hand?
     <Mister Hand posits the analogy of stirring a giant pot of stew: you never know what will surface>

A worryingly close analogy to Conrad's mind.  Except his has more capers.

     Exactly!  This morning it was "Ineluctable" and this afternoon it was "orichalcum" and this evening it was "bifurcate".
     I shall be having words with my subconscious, just you see if I don't!



*  Some or all of this may be complete fiction
**  None of that metric nonsense here at BOOJUM!