I should keep this stuff till tomorrow and then wow you with my perspicacity as I whiz through composing the blog thanks to (shock horrors!) previously prepared material!
Nah.
Besides, only 12 of you wim-wams have read the blog today. Bad audience! Naughty audience! Not reading BOOJUM! means you will get turned into mindless drones when that invasion fleet arrives.
Ah yes - there may be a slight delay of a decade or two, since it appears someone left their top secret encoded maps behind on Proxima Centauri IV, and the natives (being canny little commercial swine) are now selling "Invasion Earth" tee-shirts. And mugs. And badges, and key-rings, and mouse-pads, and stress-balls and trays and posters and postcards. So once we determine who the someone is, and serve them up as dinner, and change our plans - say the fleet will arrive in 2264.
Mark it in your diaries.
Rusty Metal Car-Boot Tat
I did mention earlier about Darling Daughter's acquisition of a rusty lantern, along with the automatic reaction of a parent about how it can't stay in the kitchen.
Well, not in the long term.
Here we see the lamp being given a Bicarbonate of Soda scrub:
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| Applied with a toothbrush. Hopefully NOT mine! |
As you can see, "Rusty Brown Decrepitude" is still very much the theme. Not daunted (much), Sally applied another bash of bicarb and the lamp now looks as if it's been at the seaside for sixty years
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| Conrad to the rescue with pots and pots of Bicarb |
I have a tray full of vegetables that need peeling and chopping before being added to the slow cooker tomorrow morning - and then I noticed the recipe title, as seen below:
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| Don't complain, just tilt your head a little. |
On That Theme -
Why does Yngwie Malmsteen insist on being called "Yngwie J. Malmsteen"? Are any of you out there aware of an epidemic of Yngwie Malmsteens that require such a definitive distinction?
Then there's Dorothy Sayers. Excuse me! Dorothy L. Sayers. How many other university-educated, Classics-translating, murder-mystery authors are there known as Dorothy Sayers?
I bet Philip K. Dick would have an explanation about it - oh no, wait a minute -
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| "Aliens are subverting your reality, Conrad. It's the only reasonable explanation. Also, for your information about my name, there are a lot of Dick out there." |
The World Cup Scandal
Conrad will be mightily annoyed if it transpires that Qatar did bribe their way to getting the World Cup to play out in their football furnace. Very annoyed indeed, and all the more so if the damn thing gets sent elsewhere.
What's that? Because of the ethics and morals involved? Pshaw! Certainly not!
What's that? Because the World Cup should avoid politics or scandal? Get out of here!
What's that? Because players not accustomed to the extreme heat will play badly? Tut!
No, Conrad is perturbed because the 2022 World Cup in Qatar features several times in my zombie novel "Revelations" - nearly finished now, thanks for asking - and is in fact the only hard date to be seen. I do not want to have to re-write and re-date again!
| Sounds like the remedy to me! |
Al! Al, What Were They Thinking!
By "Al" I refer of course to Al Murray, comedian, author and military pedant.
When saying "military pedant" I am obviously - obviously! - paying him a compliment of the highest order. Al, like Conrad, will sit and watch war films with the eyes of an eagle and the memory of a computer, leaping up and shouting at the telly if the programme or film gets a single thing wrong - along the lines of "Hah! that Panzerwaffe crewman is wearing the 1939 campaign hat as worn in the attack on Poland - but this is a film about France in 1940!"
Now, the Quest channel were showing Al's "Road To Berlin" series again this afternoon, and at one point when Al was describing the Americans advancing into the heart of the Reich - whilst the film extracts were showing Russians advancing to the west. To the west!
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Nearly finished typing up the plot notation, which stands at 4000 words, with only about another 400 to go. Of course, after that the technical and practical revision will come - when the novel was written there were no hovercraft, or satellites, or Barrett Light Fifty sniping rifles, and that all has to be taken into account. The question is, can the novel be revised for today and still retain it's essential elements? The answer is I bloody well hope so, given how much time I've expended on it!
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| Conrad's note-taking is boring. Here's a picturesque shipwreck instead. |
I think the heat today rather levelled Edna. She's not used to consistently hot weather, poor thing, but Conrad predicts that the summer is now over so the chilly Autumnal mists arriving next week will cool her down
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