Aural Assault
"We're here for a few days" lies the sign United Utilities put up. They've been digging up the road outside our offices for weeks, and this is only an "inspection" dig prior to the next tram-line being established. The excavator with a drilling attachment is the worst sonic offender; it sounds like a heavy-machine gun letting off a hundred-round burst. Even people on the other end of the phone are startled by it. I can let it pass by pretending it's the latest sample from The Chemical Brothers, but others on our floor are beginning to suffer from frayed nerves, the poor dears.
And we're up on the 3rd floor. Those on the 2nd are even closer ...
132 Degrees in the shade
Liquids consumed so far: morning cuppa of Marmite (great with stale bread); cup of coffee; 1 litre bottle of Lucozade; another cup of coffee (two spoons of coffee powder, three spoons of honey); half the Lucozade bottle filled with water; cup of water; another cup of water; mouthful of water from bottle that's been in the car all day, yuck, like drinking from the hot tap; half pint of water; 1.5 litre bottle of 7Up (it was going cheap). Going forward I expect to have another 3 pints in the pub and maybe another before bedtime.
Perhaps this post ought to be re-titled "Bladdercise" because that particular organ is getting a real Olympic workout at present.
Calliphoria Vomitoria*
One of the perils that hot sunny weather brings with it is - flies. I cordially detest the miserable buzzing rascals and can be seen in a variation of St Vitus' Dance, attempting to hit them with a flyswatter** up and down the kitchen. I know it's not dignified for a middle-aged man to demonstrate what astoundingly bad hand-eye co-ordination he has, but you can't let the evil little things get away with puking all over your food. I don't like spraying any nasty chemical cocktail into the air whilst the cats are in, either. So main force it is.
It being Thursday evening, I need to go trawl some tabloid tat websites to scout news headlines before heading off to - Pub Quiz!
Whoops - sorry, forgot -
* - Latin for the Bluebottle fly
** This flyswatter comes from the Comedysportz convention in Oregon a couple of years ago. Well-travelled, well-used.
No comments:
Post a Comment