If You're One Of Those Purists
Who jib at people daring to post pictures of their lunch or what's in the fridge, you may wish to skip this Intro BUT I WILL KNOW ABOUT IT AND THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES, just so you know. Art!
We've featured this bizarre device before, and Your Humble Scribe has seen it in person at Bovvie*. It is the 'Preying Mantis' and is based on the tracks from a Bren Carrier. The long body could be raised above an intervening obstacle and allow the gunner, who lay prone inside it, to peer over the obstruction and rain fire and brimstone with the twin machine guns he used. Conrad confidently predicts an AI version of this will be running around in a few years time.
And we had vehicle featured because Domestic Bliss is tricky to picture. Art!
Behold Sandbrook House, where Conrad is currently gainfully employed, in the service of Mulysatoof, as the glass walls in the office would have you believe. I may be reading them from the wrong side.
My schedule consists of four days on, four days off, with the four days amounting to 11 hours in the office, meaning a 13 hour day, which is a bit trying. Conrad's elderly bones have become more accustomed to this after a few weeks of enduring not enjoying. It also means that the schedule moves forward each week, although I still arrive when it's dark and leave when it's dark, and that water feature is a lot less appealing when there is rain aplenty. There is also the canal ... Art!
The Sandbrook House back gate, you see, is closed late Friday evening and not opened until early Monday morning. Thus, if working Saturday or Sunday, this means a loooooong detour down the canal towpath, where there are 1) No lights 2) No guard rails 3) Narrow parts, 4) Treacherously uneven footing and 5) Vast masses of rotting vegetation underfoot. Then you have to walk all the way around Sandbrook House to the back door.
Still, the whole process only takes about 35 minutes, which is a lot more convenient than risking First Bus into Gomorrah-in-the-Irwell and a hike to the 18th floor. Art!
It's also verrrry strange to be in a customer-service role with no - repeat NO - telephone interactions, as I've had 10 years experience of these with previous employers. Having only 28 phone calls in a day was a quiet time in Sainsbo's Recruitment. On the other hand, I never had to use Google Translate to work on incoming e-mails that might have been Norwegian, or Swedish, or Danish, or even Icelandic.
Takk!
"Slow Horses"
Wonder Wifey went on about this yesteryon, saying it was brilliant and I'd like it. Gary Oldman as Archetypal Grumpy Old Man, running a stable of losers and slackers who have been side-lined by MI5 for various reasons, mostly due to monumental bodge-ups in their past. Art!
Their office is the extra character, with a sleazy splendour straight out of "The Ipcress Files" both film and novel. How does their IT expert operate? With a giant gang-plug screwed to the wall above his computers. Digitised files? Nope, it's all humble paper. Pass-code or fob entry? Nuh-uh, access is via a reluctant door opened with a key.
Our main protagonist, River, also reminds Conrad VERY STRONGLY of Simon Pegg, whom they would not dare have cast as he would have given off the wrong vibes for this series. Art!
Squint a bit and you'll see what I mean. And Gazza is on a career high here as the boorish, drunken, foul-mouthed has-been who's still as sharp as a tack.
Ooops. Thank heavens for the 'Back' button. Just deleted everything.
More Of That Dog Buns! Crossword
Yes, I bet you're wincing in anticipation of how poorly you know the Classics, or the Bible, or ancient Hebrew or the Official History Of The Sanjak Of Novi Pazar. Let me lay before you the 'clue': "Lo! at a glance, The Spanish Gypsy and her dance."
Right. Got that, have we?
Okay, what's the solution?
"GITANA"
Nope, I've got no idea either. Conrad is aware that there are French cigarettes called 'Gitanes', if that's any help. Art!
D'you see what you've started, Dot? Well do you?
Actually it seems that 'Gitana' refers to the Romany in Spain, which I had to resort to teh Interwebz about as nil nil nil in my Collins Concise. Such is life.
"The Sea Of Sand"
The Doctor clearly has his own agenda, but isn't quite willing to lay it out before his audience, presumably because it sounds daft or counter-intuitive.
‘Unfortunately we are not going
to be able to get anywhere near the trans-mat platform, not since it was
sabotaged. The bio-vores are present in
force around it.’
‘You
mean we might as well have not bothered fighting them things?’ asked Private
Menzies. ‘Now there’s even more than
before?’
‘Hopefully
not yet,’ said Roger. ‘These alien
horrors can’t simply reproduce overnight, can they? And creating more black tanks will take a
while.’
‘Correct. There is a window of opportunity. Narrow, but it exists.’ The Doctor sipped at a mug of tea. ‘And I need to find out what this depot
contains.’
Once
again silence fell, this time more to do with incredulity than puzzlement.
‘Why! What’s so important about the contents – I
can tell you nine-tenths of the contents off the cuff, Doctor!’ said Roger in
determined fashion. ‘Small arms
ammunition: mostly crated and boxed .303, with belts of Vickers in boxes, ammo
for two pounders, artillery shells, POL – Petrol, oil and lubricants. Plus a collection of miscellaneous bits and
pieces, and some kit captured from the Italians.’
The
Doctor cocked his head to one side.
‘That
other tenth is what I’m interested in. I
presume Captain Dobie kept an inventory of what the depot contains?’
‘Yes,
in his office. In the desk.’
‘You could sneak in the back,’ said Tam. ‘We knocked a hole in the back wall.’
Indeed they did! At considerable effort. What, now someone has to go sneaking into the FSD to steal information? What are the chances!
What Am I Looking At?
A good question! No, no, you're not looking at a good question, I mean - Art!
This, ladies and gentlemen and those unsure, is Neptune as viewed by the James Webb Space Telescope, together with it's rings, and the bright dots visible around it are moons, including the big bright one making a fuss at upper port. 'Neptune has rings?' I hear you query. Yes it does indeed. This was suspected since the early Eighties but not confirmed until Voyager 2 spotted them in broad daylight in 1989. They are very faint compared to that gaudy show-off Saturn, but they do exist, as you can see from the image above, which I believe shows the more obscure rings not easily viewable at visible light wavelengths.
Finally -
We are finally - FINALLY! - past the 3rd of January, the date that Tony's Fish and Chips re-opened after their Christmas and New Year break, so Your Humble Yet Gluttonous Scribe will be able to descend upon them tomorrow after work and order the Xtra-Large Kebab, an ability that will sustain me through 100 WordsApp queries.
* Okay, okay: "Bovington Tank Museum". There. Happy now?
