You Might Well Be Forgiven For Thinking We Were On About -
What my 'Collins Concise Dictionary' defines as 'Denoting something associated with or revived from the past', such as a ray gun, because nothing says 'Retro' more than a firearm you'd expect to see as being used by Buck Rogers or Commander Cody. Art!
Conrad was always rather skeptical about weapons like this, because a handgun firing bolts of atomic fission products would need to be incredibly heavy thanks to the required shielding - unless you want to glow in the dark - and once the blitzing bolt of blazing badness hit the target, there's nothing to stop it from continuing on into the middle distance. O, was the Orphans And Foundlings Choir practicing in the room behind the bad guy you just shot with your Nuclear Death Ray Projector? Ooops. Hope your public liability insurance is up to date.
ANYWAY pretty obviously this Intro is not about the Space Patrol's Atomo-blaster, because I mean 'RETROSPECTIVE', thanks, which is derived <hack spit> from the Latin 'Retro' for 'Behind' and 'Specere' for 'To look'.
You should be used to retrospectives, we do one every Sunday. For this Intro, I am going to do a whole page from "The War Illustrated Edition 209 22nd June 1945" because I came up with the idea whilst walking Edna. Blame her if you don't like it. Art!
This is the last of their montage pages looking back over the Second Unpleasantness in Europe, for the most part, a conflict which had less than 8 weeks to run. Let us look at them in order from upper port. Art!
The V1, which contemporaries described as a 'robot bomb', and which made a 'blatting' noise. Whilst terrifying, they were also incredibly inaccurate, only capable of hitting an object the size of a city, and Perfidious Albion also spoofed the Teutons into expending a lot of them on open fields to the south of London. 'Eighty days' because it took that long to over-run their launch sites in northern France. Art!
Allied military authorities wisely allowed the Free French to be first into their capital, and their 2nd Armoured Division began this process on 24th August. De Gaulle showed that he might be a peppery old beggar but had a hard time recognising what fear was, when he went a-strolling around the city streets, daring the collaborator snipers to shoot him. They missed.
One of the more delicious ironies was that the first FF unit into the capital was composed of Spanish Republicans who had fled Franco's Phalangist fascist regime. Herr Schickelgruber was heard to lament "What a turn up for the books this is," and "Is Paris yearning?" Art!
Ah yes, Arnhem, where the British lost. Not without establishing a legendary performance, mind, which we Brits like to cherish much, much more than any battle we actually won. We Allotment of Edeners are curious that way. Art!
That's Köln Cathedral, looking rather battered. By this point Nazi Germany had very obviously lost the war and it would be over in another couple of months. Art!
Seeing off the Japanese from Mandalay laid open the whole of Burma for liberation. A war that had been stalemated along the Indo-Burmese border for years had now become very mobile and fluid, much to the detriment of the Japanese. It is not recorded if there were any flying fish. Art!
The Rhine was the last defensive barrier on Germany's borders, and once it was crossed in multiple places, it's value as a shield was gone. 'Wacht Am Rhein" became "Ruckzug vom Rhein". Art!
Don't mention invading Poland in co-operation with the Nazis in 1939!
Somewhat incredibly, especially considering Bunker Grandad's recent boast about 'Wherever a Ruffian soldier sets foot, that's ours', the Sinisters left Austria in 1955, after it had guaranteed it's future neutrality.
One wonders what the Sinisters, who were drinkers/winos/alcoholics <delete where applicable> to a man, felt about the notably teetotal Monty. Art!
The losers look miserable. The Teuton signatories here are, from port to starboard: Colonel-General Stumpff (yes really); Field Marshal Keitel; Admiral Friedeburg. Keitel would look even more miserable if he knew what his fate was, because -
"After the war, Keitel was indicted by the International Military Tribunal in Nuremberg as one of the "major war criminals". He was found guilty on all counts of the indictment: crimes against humanity, crimes against peace, criminal conspiracy, and war crimes. "
He was unalived by hanging in October 1946. Herr Schickelgruber could not be reached for comment.
There you go, the final retrospective from this edition of TWI. I think they under-represent the Pacific/Indian theatres of war because hostilities were still ongoing.
Next Up We Have -
I think we're up to Number Seven in our list of 10 zombie films the 'Metro' thinks you ought to see, which all seem to be recent, nothing before 2000 so far. Art!
Another one I've not seen nor heard of. It is 10 years old, which might explain the failure to register. It falls into the small niche of zombie/found-footage films, using still photos rather than video and is shot as a pseudo-documentary. The action begins with the lone survivor in a border hamlet, Salazar, being treated as the main suspect in the mass murder of the other 57 inhabitants. "It wasn't me, it was the zombies" is always going to be treated with skepticism by The Authorities, Salazar mate. It gets 3 stars on IMDB, so seems quite worth watching.
Here's An Impressive Achievement
As you ought to be aware, we occasionally feature marvels of engineering and construction using the medium of Lego, frequently because of their sheer scale, which can number in the thousands, or tens of thousands of bricks. Art!
30,000 bricks, before you ask
The BBC also informs that the whole thing weighs 66 pounds and is so large it needed a central reinforcing strut. James Ruxton is identified as the chief suspect, and he used CAD software to create the replica before beginning the assembly. Art!
With puny Hom. Lego for scale
They also reveal that he cheated a bit, using a 3D printer to create specific parts not made by Lego, which Conrad is willing to let pass, as it's not an everyday occurrence.
The Beeb also misidentifies the university as 'University of Manchester', with buildings located on Brunswick Street. If that's the location then it's actually UMIST, a separate entity under the "University of Manchester Institute of Science and Technology". Just to be clear. Art!
Siggur Ros once did a gig here
The Vampire Chickens Are Coming Home To Roost
More bad news for Putinpot and the siloviki, as real life catches up with the economy of Mordorvia and the millions of minion masses suffering misery and misanthropy. Art!
I confess I nicked this graphic from 'Beefeater' without asking
"In St. Petersburg, all utility payments have been raised at once for the first time in three years. From July 1, utility prices will increase by an average of 13%. At the same time, tariffs will also increase in other cities of Russia.
From July 1, utility prices in Moscow, Novgorod, Murmansk, Yaroslavl and Leningrad regions will soar by 15%, and in some regions - by more than 20%. "
Imagine if your water or electricity bill suddenly, within the space of a week, were to increase by at least an eighth and maybe up to a fifth. While the cost of food continued to rise as food inflation outstrips the nominal inflation rate. The minion masses are going to need to decide whether they pay the mortgage or eat, as soon they won't be able to do both. Art!
Those are virulently pro-Putin pensioners. At least they were, back in October 2024. What their opinions are now is open to question. After all, once you've paid your rent, you can always go bin-dipping for food*!
Finally -
If only Conrad was quick with a camera. At The Spindles today I witnessed a young man with a large dog, which was manifestly opposed to the idea of getting on the up escalator. Art!
So, after a few seconds of canine hesitation, he went to get the lift. Bravo sir, well recognised. Your dog salutes you.
On my return - this sounds like fiction but is all fact - what did I observe but another man, accompanied by his dog, descending on the down escalator as I rode upwards. Going up or down with Edna wouldn't be a problem, she is small enough to easily carry, but both of these dogs were strapping big specimens.
* A real and documented behaviour in Mordorvia.
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