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Thursday, 19 June 2025

Having The Upper Upper Hand

I've Traduced That Phrase Without Checking It's Original Meaning

Surprise! it's not in my 'Brewer's' so I have need to try teh Interwebz, wish me luck.

     Hmmm so it's thought to derive from a game where people wrap their hands around a stick and work their way up to the top, and the one who has the last handgrip wins.

     Stupid game.  No wonder young people prefer the Z-Box or whatever it's called.  Art!

The stupid severed hand game, it would seem

     ANYWAY I wanted to continue with the sad sob stories related on the Youtube vlog of "Have you seen a company ruined because the guy that did _____ left?" and I'm going to run two of them together because they demonstrate when an employee, NOT manglement, had very much the upper hand, and because neither is long enough to make up a whole Intro on their own.  Art!


     The narrator of our first story, Master Of All Trades, hereafter MOAT, started at a plastics factory as a forklift driver and moved up the evolutionary scale in the plant, learning everything about everything along the way.  From FLD to maintenance worker to plastic mixer to line supervisor to plant manager; clearly MOAT had the chops.

     Then comes the dreaded sentence "The business was sold".  This is very often the preface to so much manglement misery.  Art!


     Thank you AI Art Generator, for your interpretation of 'Manglement misery'.  Such a powerful metaphor.  Or something.

     So, the new owner shows how macho and manly and mangley he is by firing everyone and changing everything.  Conrad isn't a plastics plant manager but strongly suspects this is not the way to grow a business.

     Macho Manly Mangler, hereafter MMM, then tries to hire MOAT back - with a cut in pay of 25%.  MOAT told him to go away and propel lumps of stone with his leg-end, a.k.a. kick rocks.

     One assumes that, having fired everyone and having trouble re-staffing the plastics plant, meant that MMM was not making any money, which seemed to be his reason for living and breathing.  So, a week later he contacted MOAT and offered him his old job back, whom would only do so with a 10% increase in pay.  Art!


     MMM hung up.  

     This is where MOAT proved to have the upper hand, because a week later MMM caved and offered the 10% extra.  MOAT explained that only asking for a 10% rise would prove the point about whose hand was upper in the negotiations without rubbing it in unduly.  Moreover, he liked the people he worked with and was good at the job.  Methinks it took little or nothing for MMM's delicate epidermis to experience chafing.

     HOWEVER 'twas not all sunshine and rainbows when MOAT returned, because MMM was one of those bottomhole managers who think that they 1) Know everything and 2) are always right, and whom felt that, as a consequence of 1) and 2), there was a corollary, 3) that MOAT knew nothing.  Objectively wrong, because why pursue him and pay him extra to manage the plant if he knows nothing?  Art!


     Eventually MMM pushed MOAT too far, and he walked out, being screamed at by MMM every step of the way.  The latter claimed he would replace MOAT before he left the car park.  Um, NOT VERY LIKELY considering you had to go grovelling to him after weeks of being unable to find a plant manager.

     You can probably guess what happened next.  MOAT was kept in the loop by workers at the plant, which closed down 6 months later.  Way to go, MMM!

     What do you know, we're over 600 words in and I've only used one example of The Upper Hand.  I think we'll save that one for a different Intro.


Remember My Crack About Biting?

Sometimes the Karma Krokodile has very big teeth indeed.  Another tale of sibling treachery and skulldiggery, the mischief that's worse than skullduggery.

     Once upon a time there was a brother, aged 18, and his 'slimy' sister, aged 35, and that's the narrator's noun, not mine.  Art!


     Both siblings inherited different plots of land, with the brother's being considerably more valuable, so naturally Slimy coveted it.  In fact she pulled a switch with the paperwork so that she owned it, not him.  Way to go, Slimy, you must be related to MMM.

     After many years of seeing the land value appreciate, SS goes to sell it for many millions to a developer, who does due diligence on the plot.

     Surprise!  There are 2 endangered species present - we're not told if these are plants or animals or one of each, just that they're there.  The developers promptly vanish, because they cannot develop the plot, which thus becomes worthless overnight.  Art!

A random plot of land

     SS then proves her slime credentials by claiming there had been a mix-up with the paperwork and she wanted to give Brother Dear his plot of land back.  The worthless plot of land.

     By now Brother Dear was well aware of how thoroughly Slimy his sister was, took her request to a lawyer, because she hadn't been in touch with him for years and was clearly up to something.  Something slimy.

     This proved to be the case.  The lawyer already knew of the case, since it had already reached the level of their local television network.  His advice was to ignore Slimy's reaching out, which he did.

     Then he sold his plot for millions, whilst SS is still saddled with her endangered refuge.  Art!


     Hmmm I was a bit previous.  Narrator said that one of the endangered species was a large bird, hence Conrad strongly suspects that Parks and Rec will have trail cameras as above keeping a watchful eye on their habitat, because they, as locals, will know about the value of the land and Slimy's desperation to be rid of either it or the wildlife.  Sounds like she'd be perfectly happy showing up with a shotgun at night and bagging a brace of birds.


History Repeating Itself Just With Different Uniforms

I have just finished reading Peter Hart's 'Last Battle', which is a misnomer, as it deals with a whole lot of battles before the last one, all throughout 1918 on the Western Front in fact.  Art!


     I have been very very naughty and used his 'Acknowledgements' to create a list of books to order off 'Abebooks', which means finding other books to send to charity shops in order to balance the harmony of the universe.  Or something.

     ANYWAY I was struck by one of the long quotes by Crown Prince Rupprecht, who commanded the Northern Teuton Armies, and who was a very shrewd customer, with a clarity of foresight absent in the most senior Teuton leaders.

" - but we are already in the fifth year of the war, and our reserves in men are now exhausted to breaking point.  Further, how are the war industries to carry on in face of a levée en masse, when they are not even now in a position to fulfil completely the demands we make on them?".

     'Levee en masse' means a mass mobilisation. 

     Whom else do we know whom has troubles with mobilising enough men, and not enough workers for his factories?  Hmmmm.



"The War Illustrated Edition 209 22nd June 1945"

If you remember AND YOU OUGHT TO, we had reached September of 1943, with the invasion of mainland Italy, in this parade of retrospective montages.  Art!


     A real propaganda coup for 5th Army, and, frankly, an embarrassment for Herr Schickelgruber, who would probably have blown the entire city up rather than let it be captured without a fight.  He was spiteful that way.  The second sentence of the caption introduces the 'Italian Co-Belligerent Forces', who were all volunteers and who fought on the Allies side, to the number of about 250,000.  Conrad doesn't recall ANY film or television covering their role.  Hollywood now's your chance.


It's T.A.C.O. Time!

"Trump Always Chickens Out" for those of you unfamiliar with the acronym.  Apparently he hates it so much he would have anyone mentioning it hung from the nearest lamp-post, except Law And Order.  As proof:

      O what a surprise!  The Toxic Tangerine Toad has, however dimly, realised that annoying China brings serious financial consequences.  Expect this to be shelved indefinitely, and when brought up in six months time, Donold will reply that he never mentioned a ban, it was all fake news, buy my new Trump Bidets!  Art?

     Conrad's prediction is that DJ Tango will continue to play 'Maybe I will, maybe I won't', because that way the spotlight is upon him HIM HIM.  Then, after two weeks he'll completely drop the issue.  Art!


     It seems that two weeks is as far into the future as the Orange Land Whale can conceive, and it's his standard get-out when challenged on anything controversial or difficult; his resolution is always 'two weeks away'.

  
Finally -

In comparison to the OLW, here's an animal of profound import and presence.  Art!


    NO!  He's not 'Natpoh', bafunes.  That's Ukrainian for 'Patron', emphasis on the second vowel.  He sniffs out unexploded ordnance, which is then made safe.  He even got awarded a medal by Prez Zed.  I bet the Ruffians have put a price on his head, the septic swine.






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