If I Were To Say 'Bridge'

I Can Guess Exactly Where Your Minds Would Go

So I'm not going there.  I'm horrid that way.  

     Amongst the well-mannered and cultured, whom are unlikely to ever see these pages, the word is linked with a card game, based on 'whisk', whatever that is, for four players.  "One hand (the dummy) is exposed and the trump suit decided by bidding between players".  I'm glad we got that cleared up, then.  Art!

     Because it was either this or four old people sat round a table, sucking their teeth and Werner's pastilles, clutching a set of cards.

     Incidentally, 'Operation Market Garden', which is what ABTF is about, came very close to success, which is surprising  given that everything in seizing 11 bridges had to go right.  

     ANYWAY given the blog's bent for narrating military matters, you might expect us to go whanging on about Pegasus Bridge, and it's capture on D-Day by British paratroops.  Art!

'Peggy' with the guilty gliders in the background.  Not far to commute.

     That's Peggy in her 'Down' position.  The operation to capture it was a bit dog-in-the-manger, as the Brits didn't need or want it themselves, but it was essential to thwart any Teuton counterattack.

     That's as much as you're going to get about Pegasus Bridge.  Art!

     For those unaware, this is the Corinth Canal Bridge, before, during and after the Teuton oaratrooper attack in 1941.  They actually managed to capture the bridge and what happened next is still obscure.  Some Wehraboos insist the paratroopers themselves blew it up, on a dare, or because it affected the view and thus impacted property prices, or some such shizzle.  The Ockers insist it was demolished by a group of Australian sappers, because Ockers are such modest and self-effacing people.  Perfidious Albion insists it was a British officer (probably carrying either a swagger stick or umbrella) who shot the demolition charges.

     All a touch academic, because when a bridge is down, it's down, and all the blame or praise in the world won't re-erect it.  NO SNIGGERING AT THE BACK!

     Why all this yarking on about bridges in wartime?  Well, for one thing, river obstacles are a serious impediment to military operations, and have been since military operations existed.  Art!

     That's a Roman pontoon bridge, so about two thousand years ago, which is why it's a painting not a photograph.  What you  don't see are all the logistics needed to supply an army on the march, as well as heavy weaponry, none of which can sail across open waters.  Multiply that transport 'tail' a hundred times to imagine the amount of kit a modern army needs, which is why all modern armies worth their salt have pontoon trains for making rapid bridges.  You cannot count on your opponent kindly leaving their bridges intact when you are operating in their territory, after all.  Art!

     That, gentle reader, is the incredibly sturdy and much-battered Antonovsky road bridge, which spans the Dnipro in Ukraine.  As is clearly the case, the Dnipro is a very wide river.  What you can't see is the very rapid current, which makes it tricky even for powered boats to cross safely, and hopeless for anyone trying to row.

     The Ruffians seized the bridge at the very beginning of the Special Idiotic Operation, very likely thanks to treachery, but regardless of how they got it, they got it.  Then they had to defend it, because it was a HIMARS magnet.  Finally, when the orcs were 'advancing to the rear' in one of their very rare well-planned and executed operations, they demolished the bridge, leaving it as you see above.  This was to prevent the Ukes from following hot on their heels.  Art!

Pre-demolition

     This is how the Ruffians wish they'd left it, because Gerasimov The Zombie (really, he looks as if he's being operated by remote control) has decided the orcs are going to cross the Dnipro and create a bridgehead on the right bank.  Except they demolished the only bridge.  Ooops.  Art!

     Yes, Conrad is yarking on about the Crecy campaign again, because I got this from the Oxfam shop.  Less detail than "The Road To Crecy" because it covers 116 years.  Still, it mentions that the French destroyed all the bridges along the Seine, hoping to trap the English (plus a lot of Welsh) and bring them to battle.  Mention is made of the bridge at Poissy that was incompletely destroyed, and which the English (with their salting of Welsh) were able to re-bridge and cross, tearing it up afterwards.

     Then there was the ford at Abbeville - which is a tale for another day, mayhaps.

     Thus: bridges.  Just not the one you were expecting.

"The War Illustrated Edition 209 22nd June 1945"

More from the centre-pages retrospective montage, which has just gone past the fall of France.  Art!

     Hmmmmm NO.  As is well known by now, both sides over-claimed wildly during the air combat in what was subsequently known as the 'Battle of Britain'.  As Conrad recalls, one divides what was claimed by a factor of three to get a more realistic total.  Doing a bit of digging, on September 15th the Luftwaffe really lost 56 aircraft, against RAF losses of 40, and the mathematics is even more lopsided when one realises that the RAF's loss in pilots was but 13, whereas all the Teuton aircrew were permanently lost, whether they survived or not.  If they survived it was heigh-ho hello British America for the duration.  

You What?

Conrad actively avoids computer games, as they are incredibly time-wasting, far more than the perils of procrastination, which word leads me to ask where is anticrastination? be

     ANYWAY ANYWAY I think what I'm about to show is to do with gaming.  Art!

     Is 'PIGS' an acronym?  Why only 'Western'?  What are 'PC Mods'? and do you call them on 999 in an emergency?  Is 'Chud' a reference to the low-budget horror film 'C.H.U.D.'?  Which defined the acronym as 'Contaminaion Hazard Urban Disposal' OR 'Cannibal Humanoid Underground Dweller', neither of which seem to fit the bill here.  Let me know in the Comments, as I don't think I fancy watching a whole Youtube vlog about a computer game, as that's procrastination merely one step removed.

Thank Heavens For Armoured Underwear

One never knows when the Coincidence Hydra will strike, and when it strikes, forsooth, has not Conrad's tender and delicious backside been it's favourite fanged resting-place?  Yes it has, I was waxing rhetorical.  

     Whilst scrolling through a Youtube Reddit relating Revenge, what did I espy?  Art!

     By the sainted tash of Sean Connery, what a turn up.  Art!

     Made from titanium, with a mesh lining to prevent chafing.  Proof against all talons and fangs of up to 12" in length.

     In case you were wondering, Rude Lady got hit with a $200 fine for using a handicapped parking space when manifestly un-handicapped.  

The Bread Bombed

Your Modest Artisan was busy in the kitchen last night, having a crack at the Ukrainian bread known as 'Palianitsya', which differs from other bread recipes by using kefir in the dough.  Art!

     Before and After.  It wasn't a success, since the dough didn't rise and the centre was undercooked, which latter I suspect is down to the recipe not having the temperature either high or long enough.  Also, Conrad checked the Allinson's yeast tin for 'Best Before End Of' and <ahem> 'twas a date in 2023.  I have binned it and now have an unopened tin to use in future.  Possibly not tonight,for the Weekly Shop needs doing, and this recipe needs lots of proving times.  Art!

     A 'Palianitsya' drone.  Apparently, Ruffians cannot pronounce this word correctly, so in Ukraine it's used as a litmus test of where you're from, if there's any suspicion of you having a touch of orcishness about you.  Like, being caught stealing your neighbour's toilet ...

     

Finally -

Got nothing more to add, CYA!