Don't Worry, I'll Explain That In Good Time
Or when I feel like it, I can be fickle that way. I suppose I'm going to have to précis who Ray was, aren't I? because none of you snappers of whip who are less than Conrad's 127 years of age will have the slightest idea whom I'm talking about*. Well, he was a South Canadian author, whom hailed from Waukegan and is the only person of note to have ever originated from there. He wrote in a few different genres, and is probably most famous for "Fahrenheit 451". Art!
EYES ON THE TEXT!
This cover artwork is by Frank Kelly Freas, and because the publishing date was November 1953, it had to be SFW, which it is, by about a nanometre. Ol' Frank had the ability to make a lady seem less clothed than if she was in her birthday suit, and by a remarkable coincidence, all his ladies were pretty shapely, as well as p
ANYWAY that's not the point. What you ought to be paying attention to, you slobbering perverts, is the title of Ray's short story featured in this edition of "Planet Stories", namely "The Golden Apples Of The Sun". Art!
Yes, this is an aside. This spoof or homage or sly reference or whatever it is came out in 1968 and is plainly indebted to Ray. No, this isn't the song credit I was talking about but you could make a case for it and I wonder if lawyers were ever involved?
ANYWAY AGAIN no, I have no idea whom 'Fox B. Holden' was, except that it sounds suspiciously like a pseudonym.
Okay, down to bronze tacks, which are even more fundamental than brass ones. TGAOTS is a very short short story, concerning the flight of the spaceship 'Icarus', which is also named 'Prometheus' and 'Copa Del Oro' (because one can never have too much symbolism), whose mission is to fly into the Sun, capture a gigantic scoop of solar material, then hightail it back home to Earth with the fusion energy source safely (!) aboard. Art!
I have cheated here a little, as their rocket-ship merely skims into the outer layers of the Sun. In Ol' Ray's poetic language, the outside hull reaches eleven thousand degrees (Fahrenheit but at those magnitudes, who cares) whilst the super-refrigerated interior reaches minus one thousand degrees, for only that way can Hom. Sap. survive. Except for the unfortunate Bretton, whose suit had a structural defect in it, and who freezes to death in a fraction of a second when it ruptures.
There is drama, suspense and triumph, and eventually they peel away for Earth carrying a cargo of sun. Which constitutes the 'golden apples' as a metaphorical harvest yield.
"But - the song credit?" I hear you quibble. "You said -"
PATIENCE you yobbleks**! Art?
Yes, we are back to Pink Floyd again. Whilst the image is from "Pink Floyd Live At Pompeii", the song itself debuted on their second album, "Saucerful Of Secrets", which has a wild psychedelic cover, and if Art will do the honours -
Conrad unsure about all those bottles of wine, him being 'dry' for May. O well.
As mentioned a few days back, the lyrics of STCFTHOTS don't involve any desperate mission to mine the Sun's photosphere, which is because Roger Waters, who wrote the song, incorporated a Chinese poem into it.
There's another series of 13 repeats of 'The heart of the sun' which Conrad will not put up, as this would be cheating to get to Count rather too obviously. You can see what I mean; juxtaposing Han poetry with power-harvesting makes for an odd song, especially with Waters' sinister intonation.
You know what triggered this whole Intro? Those banjo bangers Foggy Mountain Spaceship and their cover of STCFTHOTS. Art!
From Suns To Sums
As you may be aware by now, Conrad has long had 'Snow White' in his critical sights, not that I ever intend to watch the vile farrago, an onerous task I shall leave to critics who get paid to torment their eyes and minds. Yes, I am talking about the 2024 live action Disney film, featuring Rachel Gush-Gob, whom the studio ought to have corralled with a Mouth-wrangler from day one. Art!
This is kinder than some caricatures
Bear in mind that this film extols the virtues of the monarchy, in a nation that was established by revolt against their Just And Rightful King (TRAITORS!), and make that make sense.
I would like to append here a big wodge of statistics, after softening you up with the gratuitous insults.
You can see here the results of two weeks at the box office in the South Canadian domestic market. The number of cinemas it was shown at had dwindled from 4,200 to 310, then they added another thousand - optimism made concrete, one feels - and now it's back down to 180. In all that time it made $800,000, which by the Rule Of 50% means all of $400,000 to the studio, or an average of $29,000 per diem. Expect it to be withdrawn shortly, thereafter to reappear with much fanfare on Disney +, in order to salve the egos of the studio suits involved. After all, with receipts barely moving the needle, it should have been pulled weeks ago. Still looks on course to lose a couple of hundred million dollars. Tee hee!
"The War Illustrated Edition 208 9th June 1945"
Let me check and see what pictures we have left from this edition, as I've been rather erratic in putting the photographs up and have, as is wont with elderly gin-swillers, rather lost my place. Art!
How democracies differ. Yes, this is Winnie amongst a sea of adoring civvies, celebrating VE-Day. Note absence of bodyguards and security and cordons and barriers; were this Herr Schickelrgruber there'd be physical barriers separating the twain and more SS than you could shake several sticks at. In fact, I recall from Speer's memoirs that Ol' Schickelgruber didn't enjoy being in the presence of crowds.
Also, how democracies differ. Ol' Win was out out out in the post-war elections.
Egad! More Wallet-Hoovery Abounds!
You may remember Conrad yarking on about a comic collection of the 'UFO' strips from 'Countdown' and how much it cost, and how the second volume was out of print and one needed a second mortgage to purchase a second-hand version. Art!
Well, that's a bit odd. After diggin, 'Abebooks' doesn't list it in any variation on the title, and it's not present on the official 'Gerry Anderson' website list of comic anthologies.
Aha! Art?
For shame, one cannot clutch it to one's heart/fusion-powered pumping unit in one's hot sweaty hands. Boo. Art!
I was right on the money with Mike Noble. That launch looks mightily like a Titan I, doncha know.
Finally -
Enough wibble, I'm going to post this and be bamboozled.
* Seven "I"s in a single title and paragraph. What an egotist.
** This is Ukrainian and rude, so it's not getting translated.
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