A Bit Of Contusion

I'm Not Sure How Long This Intro Will Be

I did make a note last night when an idea struck me, but it might only make for a couple of hundred words.  Perhaps it would have been better to begin this Intro under the banner "If I Were To Say 'Spectrum' -" because that allows for more creativity.  Art!

     My first computer.  Yes, it possessed an awesome 128K of RAM, which was a huge improvement on the original 48K.  The advantage of the 128 was that the tape player was built in, so there was no risk of accidentally dislodging the cable connecting th

     ANYWAY that's not what I mean, fascinating though early computer history is.  Art!

     I've been re-watching this series on the <coughcoughpiratecoughcough> DVDs I rediscovered a couple of weeks ago.  You ought to be familiar by now with the organisation 'Spectrum', which has a tranche of colour-coded personnel with pseudonyms that conceal their real identity. Conrad uncertain how that will fare against an alien super-AI on Mars, but fingers crossed.

     Okay, so there are a couple of phrases that Spectrum personnel use at the end of communications.  "Spectrum Is Green", usually acronymed to "S.I.G.".  To those who pontificate about how that's a longer and less efficient usage of words than "Ok", please refer back to "Roger Wilco", which was RAF usage for "Affirm I've heard and understood, will conform".  Art!

This is relevant

     If we can get back on track?  Thank you, too kind!

     The second end-of-comms used is "Spectrum Is Red", again acronymed into "S.I.R.", which means Very Bad Things About To Happen.  Like, "That tanker of aviation fuel the Mysterons retrometabolised is now sailing into New York harbour" level of bad.  Art!

     

     This is Ryan Kinel, whose vlogs on Youtube are entertaining and, most relevantly, succinct.  Ryan's always fulminating about something, and whilst he doesn't manifest any overt political views, I doubt that his and mine would mesh very well.  He is the one who ripped into "Star Wars Outlaws" with relish that I took my gaming info from, as contemporary games are a mystery to Conrad.

     ANYWAY he did mention 'shilling for ESG' in his description of SWO, which your aged non-gaming creator immediately mis-identified as "EGA", which is 66% correct.  I wondered if this was a sinister gaming corruption scandal akin to that time when critics were being paid by games companies to post positive reviews?

     Well, no.

     After quite a bit of digging, I realised that "ESG" is in fact a reference to "Environmental, Social and Governance" and means just how green, diverse, touchy-feely and inclusive a business is (what Ryan would probably sneeringly dismiss as 'woke').  Art!

PSG.  Close enough.

     What this means for games is that you get a slipcase, a DVD and that's it.  Long gone are the days of physical manuals.  They probably have printing disabled, because only dinosaurs like documents, right? typed the dinosaur.  The next step is to make everything online, so the manufacturers have no overheads for physical products, meaning a larger profit margin.  And they seem to be agitating for a 'lease' model for games, where you never actually own anything.  Entirely at the mercy of big business.  Art!

Back in the good old days

     What does any of this have to do with S.I.G. or S.I.R.?

     O I thought you'd never ask!  Because of the possibilities of misinterpretation, that's why.  Imagine, there you are tooling along in your Spectrum Pursuit Vehicle - a really splendid bit of kit - and you absently pronounce it "Sig".

     Instantly your vehicle's AI - for we are talking of the 2060s here - routes a call through to - Art!

     - the Swiss company that makes armaments.

     Or, if one makes the other mistake and pronounces it "Sir", your vehicle's AI instantly puts you into a one-on-one call with Colonel White, the somewhat peppery head of Spectrum.

COLONEL WHITE: Yes, Captain Sepia?

CAPTAIN SEPIA: Ah - er - I think -

COLONEL WHITE:  Out with it, man, we're expecting a Mysteron attack on the London Stock Exchange any minute now!

CAPTAIN SEPIA: Sorry, sir, I said "Sir" instead of "Ess Eye Are"

COLONEL WHITE: <muted possible swearing>: That gap in the Antarctic Nuclear Warhead Cleansing Facility roster just got filled.

CAPTAIN SEPIA:  But - but I had a hot date with Harmony!

COLONEL WHITE: And - what's this invoice from Switzerland for two thousand pistols?

     We shall call an end to this hilarious yet illuminating Intro.  Two scribbled acronyms in my notebook proved fruitful.

It Was Only A Matter Of Time

Out of sheer necessity, Ukraine has become one of the world's foremost innovators when it comes to drones.  You can see them on land, in the air and at sea.  When it comes to UGVs - 'Unmanned Ground Vehicles' - you have ones that are basically an anti-tank mine on tracks, self-propelled machine guns -

     And this.  Art?

     Yes, one of those creepy cyber-dogs, armed with a flamethrower.  Those spoof warning signs about a guard dog carrying a Dillon minigun now look a bit pale and puny.

Take A Gander At This

They say Robert Kennedy Jr. has a worm in his brain.  Well, his bezzie mate Donold Judas Trump will never be so afflicted, or so I thought, because - lack of worm-sustenance.

     Now I'm not so sure.  Look at this - Art!

     This is him giving a speech about illegal Haitians stealing geese from lakes in order to eat them.

     Excuse me?

     Geese can fly.  If you try and approach them, guess what?  They fly away.

     Also, Conrad used to have a pet goose.  It would attack anyone not family and could only be kept at bay with a stout broom.  They make an excellent substitute for a guard dog.

     Perhaps a brain-worm with anorexia?

Uh-Oh

The Blogger tracking algorithm might be slipping a bit, after doing so well recovering from the flattering yet false statistics for August.  Art!

     I don't think all the shizzle-posting I do on Twitter (ha! take that Elong Tusk!) can possibly generate this level of visits.  Art!

     Perhaps BOOJUM! means something especially profound and witty in whatever language they speak in Singapore*.

Kyle's Isles

The last of this particular vlog as posted by Kyle "Geography King", and he picked on Mackinac (pronounced 'Mackinaw") Island, up near the border between South Canada and British America.  Art!

     Situated on Lake Huron, the island is pretty small, being only four and a half miles square, with 600 permanent residents.  Art!

     The 'MI' stands for 'Michigan' not 'Missouri', just to be clear.  Art!

     This is the aptly-named 'Grand Hotel', a typical piece of Victorian architecture.  Why so large an hotel on such a small island?  Because the island comes into it's own during summer, when lots of tourists descend upon it.  Art!

     There are no cars, which makes the presence of State Highway 185 rather a white elephant, considering - you may be ahead of me here - there are no cars to use it.  They also have a big Fudge Festival in August, the pikers, and the island is famous for it's fudge WHICH I CANNOT HAVE.  Art!

Anyway, I'm not at all keen on chocolate fudge

     That's the end of Kyle's 'Interesting Islands' vlog which has, I hope, demonstrated that not everywhere in South Canada is a despoiled inner city slum nor Beverley Hills.

Toodle pip!

*  Malay, English, Tamil and Mandarin.