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Friday 17 May 2024

Tragic Magic Pelagic

I Will Admit To Reaching A Little There

The word 'Pelagic' popped into my head and it's not quite relevant in this Intro, unless you stretch definitions.  Which we do all the time.  So it's staying.  Also, it allows me a picture of fish.  Art!

Yes, it's real.  Wonder what it tastes like with chips?

     To explain this Intro, I would like to mention "Spaghetti Kozak", whom was a budding Youtuber, whom then kind of fell off the grid.  Conrad had read about his knowledge of Ukraine and visits to Kiev and feared the worst.  Art!


     He had indeed gone to fight the hordes of Mordor as of April 2022, which is why his YT channel stopped dead.  He has updated it occasionally since then, but he holds forth on Twitter a whole lot, which is where he fulminated mightily as follows.  Art!

First two lines... So sick of this s***. We need to end this trend of giving evil characters sympathetic backstories. Real evil people tend to be quite one-dimensional.

     What is our favourite gun-wielding pasta talking about?  Why, none other than - Art!


     Yes, apparently it's all the done thing to give your generic villain a moral makeover and claim evil is relative and they deserve a chance to tell their osnw s d f'WPEirv n  
                      Q34G51QVG
                                        [PWO0[K^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


     O!  Excuse me, I think I dozed off.  Where were we?  The scriptwriters probably throw in "Tolerance" and "Compassion" whilst patting themselves on the back about how brave they are.  Conrad would give them a back-patting they wouldn't forget any decade soon.  Art!


     Who is this two-toned harlot?  Why, none other than Cruella de Vil, "Re-imagined" as a 'Sympathetic' character, who is undoubtedly driven to evil by The Man, or The Patriarchy, or a lack of pistachio-pickers in the Sanjac of Novi Pazar, or a lack of dog-skin couture.  Art!


     THIS is greatness: an unapologetically wicked woman out to ruthlessly achieve her despicable ends with no need for a tragic backstory about how she once passed the port to starboard and was spurned by her family.  NO!  She is, as the song has it, bad to the bone.

     Conrad has not seen "The Rings Of Power" because it's Ol' Tolky with the serial numbers filed off, but I strongly suspect that Sauron will have been played up as having a tragic backstory and how mummy didn't love him enough.  The Sauron we witness in "Lord Of The Rings" has no redeeming features, he rules through fear, terror, malice, wickedness, brute force and a predisposition to pass the port to starboard, in case you were wondering.  We don't need any further motivation than a lust for power writ large.  Art!


     Nor is he one-dimensional; witness the Black Speech, a completely novel language he created for exclusive use in Mordor.  Which some diligent translator has rendered into Chinese.

     Where does 'Pelagic' come in?  O I thought you'd never ask!  You see, marine life in that region can live unconstrained by geographical limitations, as mirrored by a person of evil, who can live their life unconstrained by moral boundaries.  Pure evil, you see, doesn't need to have been sent to bed without any supper.  Also, I have my doubts about "Wicked" as it may be a musical.  Art!


     Here's a pitch line for a new Disney film: "Adolf The Artist: he only ever wanted to be a painter UNTIL THEY CRUSHED HIS DREAMS!"  yeah yeah, and the script has people going on about his "sensitive face" and "delicate hands".

     Well, tough tuchus, Bob - Mel Brooks got there before you with "The Producers".

     Ambrose Bierce for Prez!


I Am Unashamedly Going To Refer To Ukraine Again

Another Youtuber I follow is 'Jake Broe', whom I have mentioned on occasion in the past.  His vlogs on Ukraine are simply some of the best there are, which is an abrupt switch from his previous content, that used to be all about money and investing.  Art!



My YouTube community has now fundraised over $1,000,000 in less than six days to purchase trucks and drones for Ukrainian military units! I decided to donate my birthday this year to Ukraine and had the goal to raise $40,000 for my 40th birthday.

The next bit is a graphic I cannot copy so I'll Snip it. Art!

That total has been raised in 6 days by his readers, the majority of whom are South Canadians. Read 'em and weep, Dimya.

"Feed" Indeed (By Mira Grant)

Finished this last night and it hits enough points and ties up enough threads that Conrad doesn't need to read the sequels. I won't post any spoilers because I am merciful and considerate - this morning, anyway - so I shall just point out a couple of plot elements. Art!


Firstly, the zombie virus is airborne, so everyone has it, supposedly. The fact that the initial release was forty years previously seems to be ignored, but props for coming up with a proper transmission system
Secondly, the virus can only re-animate animals of over forty pounds mass. So, whilst dogs and cats are safe as pets, up to a certain size, cows and horses are potential infector vectors. This is a really good twist with lots of ramifications.
Thirdly, and a device Conrad jibs at, the zombies get smarter when en masse. How? Telepathy? Collective consciousness? Hive mentality? Magic? NO!

The novel came out in 2010 and nobody has bothered to adapt it to screens either large or small, possibly because of Point 3 above, or more probably because it's set against the backdrop of a senator's political campaign to become Prez. Whilst South Canadians love to vote, they're not keen on watching a two-hour film or ten-hour miniseries about it.


"City In The Sky"
For a species of lizard, the Lithoi are very dog-eat-dog.      Undulating along the vertical construction lines and suspended assembly jigs, he pondered what else might go wrong.  Not that it should, but the local humans had proved to be increasingly dangerous over the past few weeks.  They had sniffed out the Travellers, destroyed the missile platform and – even if it was debated – hit the ocean with an asteroid from orbit.  Those biologists had better come up with an awesome disease in order to stop this retaliation!

     He looked out over the workshops and their frantic activity, seeing his obedient minions slaving away on the next four flying eyes, lots of sparks and electrical arcs illuminating the gloomy depths of the baseship.  Several cast up a limb in acknowledgement of his presence, so he decided to give an address.

     ‘Ahem!  Loyal artificer minions of the workshop level, hear me, hear me.’

     His intelligent collar caught the sounds, amplified them and transmitted to every nearby collar.

     ‘I understand that I have driven us to extremes, in pursuit of what the higher castes have deemed essential.  For all this, I apologise.  We have had to sustain the baseship, carry out external work and replace lost equipment, when faced with an incredibly hostile environment.  You have performed admirably.’

     The purple prose carried on into the next sentence before he realised what his earnest contempt for the higher castes was leading him to.

     ‘I salute your endeavour.  May this praise sustain you!’

     Amongst the varied levels and sub-levels, the retrenchments and extrusions of the baseship, this praise echoed amongst his minions.

Apologies for all the spacing, the format went really weird there for no good reason.


Art Imitating Life
No, not our Neanderthal sloven in charge of illustrations, I mean "Art" as in artistic, the product of creativity and vision, and also a colour printer and a lot of beta testers. For Lo! we are back on "The Great War In Europe" and I am in the process of adding British & Commonwealth counters to the map. Art! Yes, you, Art, you coal-chewing sloven!


Hmmmm not that great a photo. Rest assured you'll get an update. You can see where the B & C (and Portuguese) divisions are going to be placed; there's 60 British divisions, 2 Portuguese, 5 Australian, 4 Canadian and 1 New Zealand divisions to place. Slow work, and once I've placed these we then have about 115 French divisions to place. For every single one I need to scrape the old Blu Tak off and apply a new piece, which - fingers crossed! - means I can then put the board vertically without them dropping off.
Priceless experience for all Apprentice World Dictators. Even those wearing novelty slippers.


Finally -
Sitting here in shorts as they were out and available after I spilled porridge all down my jeans and tee-shirt. Sheesh. Mister Clumsy strikes again. It's a good job I don't handle anything volatile, radioactive, explosive or toxic.



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